


Wilted Roses

by AuleVala



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/F, F/M, Friendship, M/M, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Pre-Series, Reincarnation, Second Shinobi War, Self-Insert, Slow Burn, Team Bonding, Third Shinobi War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-10
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2018-09-16 16:26:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 21
Words: 86,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9279854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuleVala/pseuds/AuleVala
Summary: Hello. My name is Natsuki Senju, ninja extraordinaire! I wasn't always like this though. Just a little while ago, I was dying in a sick bed, with a different name, a different face, and a different life. I guess reincarnation has it's perks, not that I always think about it that way. OC insert fic





	1. Dreaming: Prelude Part 1

**Dreaming**

_"We've got no place to go, caught up in a rodeo. Oh no, please, god, tell me we're dreaming."_

* * *

Hiruzen loved his job. He loved being able to help people, and lend others his strength. He loved the way the kids would look at him when he walked by, and the trust that his village put in him. From the day he had been born, all he had wanted was to be able to treat the world as his family, and, truly, he seemed to have gotten his wish.

Of course, it wasn't all that simple. The title of Hokage came with a lot of responsibility, but he thought he handled it well most of the time. The villagers seemed to think so too whenever he had the chance to talk to them. But occasionally, there were these days where the world would decide to test him. Then he would think about his old teacher Tobirama, and wonder if the old man had made the right decision so many years ago when he had chosen Hiruzen over Danzo. Times like these would make his heart ache for someone else to take up the hat and rid him of the ugly parts of the shinobi world. But of course, that was selfish. His time wasn't up quite yet. He could only do his best.

Today was one of those days.

"Slow down, and take a breath," he told the young man standing in front of him. He had never seen the Gisao Shiranui so worked up, but he supposed that the man had never lost anyone in the field before either.

"I-I'm sorry Hokage-sama," the Chunin closed his eyes.

"It's okay to grieve when you lose someone," Hiruzen said quietly. "Are you okay to continue?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Good, then tell me what happened."

"We were escorting the caravan towards Amegakure, just like the mission instructed," he began. "When we were ambushed overnight. At first we thought that it was just bandits- that's the only threat that our client had warned us about. A-and they were dressed like bandits too. Kojirama-senpai wasn't concerned, and had us split up under the order to protect the caravan. It was supposed to be simple."

Gisao stopped to close his eyes for a moment, and Hiruzen's hokage hat felt even heavier on his head. He knew where this was going. There was a reason Kojirama wasn't the one briefing him, even though he had been the appointed leader for the mission.

"Go on," he prompted.

"They were ninja, disguised as local bandits. They outnumbered us two to one- we never even really stood a chance," Gisao said quietly. "Kojirama-senpai took on half of them at once, while Ryou, Satori, and I fought off three others. The last one sacked the caravan, but I don't think he actually stole anything. They seemed to be under orders to destroy and execute. I didn't see exactly what happened, but there was a lot of fire- and the merchants were trapped inside. I wanted to try and help them, but then Ryou took a kunai to the gut, and Satori got caught in a genjutsu and started screaming. One of the enemy nin was about to get me too, but then Kojirama dropped out of nowhere. He told me that he had the situation handled, and that it was of utmost importance that I make it back here to tell you what had happened. He said that was an order. S-so I started to run."

"Hm, and you think that there's no chance that there were any survivors?" Hiruzen contemplated.

"I was about a quarter mile away when there was an explosion," Gisao shook his head. "I couldn't keep going after that, so I turned around, but when I got back, the entire clearing was barren. T-there were bodies too. B-but I-I couldn't tell who was who. They were all so charred." He reached into his pocketwith a shaky hand and pulled out a body scroll, laying it before Hiruzen. Gently, the Hokage unrolled it and counted the seals.

"Sixteen," he said aloud.

"Yeah," Gisao muttered, his eyes falling to the floor.

"You did well," Hiruzen nodded, rolling the scroll back up. "We might be able to identify the enemy nin with this as well, and find out which village is behind the attack. Your team won't have died in vain."

Gisao nodded absently, and Hiruzen knew that for the moment the man was lost to the world. He needed some time.

"I'm upgrading this to an A-rank mission, and giving you a while off," Hiruzen continued. "Go back to your wife and son. I'm sure they'll be happy to have you around for a little bit."

Gisao nodded before making a slow exit. It would be a while before the young man would be able to recover from that sort of mission, and he most certainly would never forget it. Hiruzen looked down at his desk and the files on top.

Unfortunately, he'd probably be able to say the same about himself. He knew all of the men on Gisao's team who had died in combat, but Kojirama specifically wasn't just anybody in the village. He was an elite jonin, head of the Senju clan, and the only living decedent of the second Hokage. People had looked up to him, and in many ways Hiruzen had felt personally responsible for his well being. It was only right that he try and look after the family his old sensei had left behind. Tobirama had sacrificed everything that day for him.

There was also his own student to think about. Tsunade was going to take this hard. She didn't have many relatives left, and those she did have seemed to be dropping like flies in recent years. He would have to go find her, and Kojirama's wife. He wanted to tell them in person.

Standing up, he laid his Hokage hat and cloak on his chair, venturing out into the world in his shinobi gear. Fifteen minutes later he was stepping into the Hospital, being greeted by a startled nurse sitting at the front desk.

"Hokage-sama!" she greeted him. "We weren't expecting you today."

"Hm, you wouldn't be. Where is Tsunade-hime? I need to speak with her," he said.

"I'll go get her for you," the nurse said quickly as she hopped to her feet and scuttled around the corner. Hiruzen waited patiently for her to return, glancing around the lobby. The hospital wasn't actually that busy today,thankfully. There seemed to be a few civilians in for different reasons, but looking at the log on the front desk, most of the shinobi currently present were just in for routine visits.

That made sense though. This had been a relatively calm year for Konoha, even with the brewing hints of hostility coming from the borders. Even ninja villages, occasionally, could appreciate brief moments of peace.

Then again, thinking of Kojirama, maybe the only reason that the hospital wasn't dealing with any trauma patients was because his shinobi weren't making it back from their missions at all. Hiruzen didn't like that reasoning half as much.

"This better be urgent," a familiar voice floated in from around the corner. "I'm busy with research today, and don't have time for personal calls."

"We all have busy schedules. Don't you have any respect for the Hokage?" Hiruzen raised an eyebrow with a smirk.

"I have plenty of respect for the Hokage, just none for my sensei," Tsunade shot back. That would've made him laugh, had he actually been stopping by just for a friendly visit. Tsunade seemed to be in a good mood today. She usually would be more aggressive otherwise.

"Hmph," he breathed. "Well at least you have some regard for my hat." Tsunade rolled her eyes at him, just as he took note that the nurse at the desk seemed to be smirking at their banter. "Come on, your research can wait a bit. Let's take a walk." The hospital room was too open for this sort of talk.

Tsunade was no fool though. The minute the sentence was out of his mouth, she knew something was wrong. Hiruzen always did like taking walks with his students, but usually he wouldn't seek them out explicitly to just chat. Hokage's just didn't have time for that sort of nonsense.

"Alright, I'm sure they'll find someone to take over for me for just a little bit," Tsunade nodded wearily. The pair exited the hospital lobby and started to meander out along the road, towards the outskirts of the village where they'd have a bit more privacy. Hiruzen made errant conversation about Tsunade's hospital work along the way, and she humored him, talking about the way Hashirama tree leaves seemed to react to certain veins of poison for just a bit.

When they crossed the bridge though, she cut straight to the point.

"Alright, I know you don't really care about my anti-venom treatments, as long as they work," she said, crossing her arms and giving him a bristly look. "What's this really about? Who died?"

Hiruzen frowned, knowing that she was mostly joking, but spitting out the elephant in the air anyways.

"Kojirama did," he said with a sigh. Tsunade's eyebrows went up in a brief moment of shock as she stopped walking.

"My cousin Kojirama?" she blinked. It was hitting her slowly, but she'd process it in a moment. Tsunade usually dealt with these things rather well. Lord knows Hiruzen had delivered this sort of news to her more than once before. There were only three Senju's left in the world now, and there was a reason for it.

"Hm, that's the one," Hiruzen nodded. "He was ambushed by enemy nin while on a body guard mission. He took out all eight of them, but didn't manage to get away himself."

"I guess that makes me clan head now," Tsunade mumbled, as her shoulders sagged a bit. "Nawaki is going to be devastated. So will Mura. She's pregnant you know, the baby is supposed to be coming any day."

"I know, she's been visiting Biwako frequently the last few weeks. She's always talking about how Asuma and her baby will be great friends. I want to tell her about this in person. Kojirama meant a lot to this village. His sacrifice saved Gisao Shirinai's life. His wife shouldn't hear about this from a messenger," Hiruzen said solemnly. Tsunade nodded, eyes distant and sad.

"I'll come with you," she said.

They turned and started heading towards the shinobi housing district. Kojirama's house was right next to Tsunade's, right in the heart of the city. The two houses were no grand clan complex, like what the Hyuga's and the Uchiha's had, but it was the only Senju quarters left in the village. Hiruzen was glad that Hashirama and Tobirama had never decided to build anything large or isolated like the other clans had. It would've made Tsunade and little Nawaki feel lonely.

When they arrived, Hiruzen took the lead and knocked gently on the door. A few seconds later, a short heavily pregnant woman with dark brown hair answered the door.

Hiruzen could see what Tsunade meant when she said that Mura was just about ready to pop. She was such a small woman to begin with that her stomach seemed to be nearly twice the size of the rest of her. When she saw the two ninja standing on her doorstep, she blinked.

"Oh, hi Tsunade, Hokage-sama," she said. "What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if we could come in," Hiruzen asked gently.

"Of course," she nodded glancing over her shoulder. "You'll have to excuse the mess though. I'm not allowed to strain myself, doctors orders, so the clutter's just been gathering for a few days." She smiled at Hiruzen, as she led her two guests into the living room. "I'm sure you understand that though. If I remember right, Biwako's pregnancy went about as well as mine is."

"I don't think it was quite that bad. She had little Isamu waiting on her the entire time. You should've heard him complain," Hiruzen smiled. Mura smiled back as a hand went subconsciously to her belly.

"I hope maybe my baby will be as good as your son Hokage-sama. Asuma should be glad to have such a well-behaved older brother," she said. Tsunade cleared her throat then, and gave pointed Hiruzen a look.

"Mura-, do you want to sit down? I could get you a glass of water," she offered.

"Oh no Tsunade, I'm fine," Mura waved at her, though she did take a seat. "You can wait on me when I'm in your house, not here."

"Hm, I suppose it shouldn't wait any longer then," Hiruzen said. "Mura, I'm afraid I have some bad news."

"Oh. Is Kojirama going to be late getting back?" she blinked confused.

"Mura-nee," Tsunade said gently. Her expression was twisted with shared grief and pity. This part was worse for her than hearing the news herself. "Kojirama didn't make it back from his last mission."

"He died protecting his companions, taking out every single one of the enemy nin that were attacking them. It was an honorable death, even if it was terribly too soon" Hiruzen added, hoping that maybe that knowledge would bring her some comfort.

Mura stood up, abruptly, her hands still resting on her stomach. "I'm sorry," she said, her voice cracking. "I think that I should open the window. I-I think this pregnancy is starting to give me hallucinations. I thought- I-I just heard you say-"

"Mura-" Tsunade started. But the pregnant woman was beyond hearing. She was already half way across the room fumbling with the blinds. "I'm going to go get her that drink of water," Tsunade told Hiruzen. He nodded with a sigh. This could be going better.

"Be quick about it," he mumbled as she went. Mura was hurrying over to the third window now, still muttering about how hot it was in here.

"Mura, please," Hiruzen said.

"No, no no," Mura prattled. "I think maybe I'll go get a fan." She disappeared into the bedroom, just as Tsunade came back in with a cup of water.

"We need to get her sitting again," she mumbled.

"She just needs time," Hiruzen told her. "Everyone handles this different at first. And Kojirama was all she had left."

"And she's pregnant." Tsunade nodded wearily.

"The next few years will be hard for her now," Hiruzen agreed. "But this is our life. Kojirama knew the risks. The village will take care of her now though, and the baby. Don't worry, I'll make su-"

There was a suddenly a loud crash from the next room. It made Hiruzen's heart almost stop. Both of them leapt to their feet and were through the door in an instant. They found Mura Senju on the floor with tears streaming down her cheeks. One hand was on her stomach and the other was on her hip.

Judging from the scene, it looked like her foot had caught on her night stand, and then half way down to the ground her hip had smashed into the table's corner. There was no blood from what Hiruzen could tell, but something was still clearly wrong.

"Mura, Mura, what hurts?" Tsunade demanded. She was in full on medic mode, and her hands were already glowing green as she started her examination. In response, Mura let out another pained wail.

"My stomach! The baby," she cried out. The ground was wet, but not with blood. Oh no, Hiruzen thought to himself, feeling his stomach knot. He knew what it meant.

"Sensei, her water broke. The baby is coming now," Tsunade said urgently. "I think the fall also might have broken her hip too. I don't want to move her, not alone at least. I might need to deliver it here. I need you to get Biwako-san, and tell her exactly what happened. None of the other nurses will be as good as her. Tell her to bring everything we're going to need. Understand?"

Hiruzen looked desperately from Mura to Tsunade and back again. This wasn't in his comfort zone at all. With a quick grunt of agreement, he went straight for the window. And as he bolted over the roof tops towards his house, where his wife would be taking care of his two sons, he couldn't help but feel as if Tobirama's stone eyes were fixated on his back.

I hope I don't lose the rest of you today. He thought.

Hiruzen leaned against a pale hospital wall, a sick feeling resting in his stomach. It had taken Biwako and Tsunade four hours to move Mura to the hospital, and she hadn't been quiet about it in the slightest. Hiruzen had been there for the births of both of his children, but Biwako was really quite the soldier. She had screamed sure, but she stayed strong through all of it, more or less. This was so different.

Part of him thought that maybe his wife just had a high pain tolerance, but while he didn't doubt that was true, another part of him knew that something was going wrong in there. Tsunade was the best medic in the village, even though she was only 25, and Biwako had delivered half the clan babies in the village. Between the two of them it should have been fine.

But those four hours had been so long. Mura's hip was definitely broken, and on top of that, he'd overhear Biwako saying that the baby might have been breach.

That wasn't good. Maybe under better conditions it would have been more manageable, if Mura's hip had been fine, if she had been in the hospital already when this started, if Kojirama was here to hold her hand through this pain.

Hiruzen shook his head, and closed his eyes, pushing himself into a state of meditation. It would do nobody any good if he worried himself sick over this.

More time passed, and the clock on the wall made its rounds. Hiruzen let his focus drift elsewhere to other problems and other responsibilities. Finally, after what seemed like a second lifetime, the door opened in front of him, and Biwako steppes out.

She looked stern, with sweat on her brow, and blood on her white sleeves. Nothing about her expression was comforting.

After a beat of silence, she spoke. "We saved the baby," Biwako said solemnly. "It's a girl." And there it was- the cold hard truth of things. Tobirama's great grand-daughter hadn't been alive for even an hour, and she was already an orphan.

"Is Tsunade with the baby?" Hiruzen asked.

"No, one of the nurse's is caring for it right now. Tsunade hasn't left Mura just yet," Biwako shook her head. That was even worse. Tsunade never explained herself to anyone, but Hiruzen had watched her grow. She was a medic because she had lost so many people, and every face that she couldn't save never really left her.

"Hiruzen, Tsunade is next of kin," Biwako said softly. He knew she was having the exact same line of thought that he was. She had been there for his three kids whenever it was important. "It's different with Nawaki, but she's not ready to truly take care of that baby."

"I know," Hiruzen despaired quietly. "But I can't let Tobirama's heir move into an orphanage... maybe there's another family, one of the clans or..."

Biwako reached out and took his hand. "What if we took her?" she asked pointedly.

Hiruzen looked up at her with a jolt. "Biwako," his objected. "I'm the Hokage. What sort of precedent would I set if I started taking in orphans? What happens when some child asks me what made that baby more important than the rest of the orphaned kids in village?"

"Than you'll tell them that she was your family, that it was your duty as Hiruzen Sarutobi, and that it had nothing to do with your job. It's not really a lie. Tobirama was like a father to you," she argued.

"I'm barely around enough for Isamu and Asuma as it is," he started to object again.

"I'm already taking care of those two well enough, Saru. One more won't make any difference. Besides, Isamu is going to go to the Academy soon. It might be good for Asuma to have someone to truly grow up next to," she said, raising an eyebrow at him.

Of course, the moment she called him Saru, he had lost.

"Alright," Hiruzen sighed. His head told him that he was going to live to regret this decision, but all the same his heart grew lighter the moment that he resigned himself to it. Lacing his fingers through his wife's, he nodded towards the hospital room. "I suppose I should go meet my new foster daughter," he said gruffly.

Biwako nodded, and led him into the room and through a side door towards the part of the ward where the newborns were brought to be washed. They found Tsunade picking up the little girl. That was good, it meant that his star medic had left the dead mother to the other nurses.

"Hm, white hair," Hiruzen said aloud. "She looks just like a proper Senju."

Tsunade looked up at him. He hadn't seen her look so exhausted in years.

"Mura said she wanted to call her Natsuki," Tsunade said quietly.

"A good name. I think Asuma might have trouble pronouncing it though. He hasn't quite figured out his 'n's yet," Biwako said.

"He'll learn, I suppose they'll have to share a room," Hiruzen agreed thoughtfully. Tsunade's eyes snapped up to him and they shared a meaningful look. Relief washed through her instantly.

"Thank you sensei," she said quietly, hugging him tightly with her free arm.

"Of course," he mumbled, looking down at the newest addition to his family. "Of course."


	2. Dreaming: Prelude Part 2

**Dreaming**

_"And it felt like maybe we could last forever, forever"_

* * *

"You're sick, hun. Real sick."

That's where my story starts. I was sitting in a white room, across from a pale woman with stringy hair. I hate thinking about it now, because, even after all this time, it fills my gut with rocks. A lot of things have faded since my entire world was flipped upside down, but not that woman saying those words. I guess you can't blame a girl though, right? It's not every day someone tells you that you're facing certain death.

I didn't cry though. Well, at least not in the moment I didn't. The facts were there, but they hadn't really hit me yet. Instead I looked the woman level in the eye. "How long?" I asked because I needed to know. How much longer do I get to be with my family? How much longer until I have to say goodbye to everyone I've ever loved?

"Weeks maybe," she said, looking at me with pity. We had caught it too late.

That's when my Mom started crying.

I don't think that anyone is ever really afraid of dying. I wasn't. After thinking long and hard about it, I decided that I was afraid of everything that came with dying, instead of the dying itself. Not to be cheesy, but Dumbledore once told Harry Potter that he shouldn't pity the dead, but the living. Because they were the ones who had to move on without their loved ones. But what about if you're the first one to go? Then aren't you the one that's going to be alone? It's not like I had anyone I knew waiting for me in the afterlife. Even all four of my grandparents were still alive.

I really didn't like the thought of that.

Anyways, I should probably stop rambling about this. My minor existential crisis after I was diagnosed isn't really exciting or surprising. Point is, I had a lot of time to sit there and think about my place in the world, and how much I was going to miss everyone. It kind of sucked. I wish that the entire ordeal had been quicker to be honest. I tend to deal with things better when I have less time to overthink them.

I spent the next month and a half withering away in the hospital. Most of that time I filled with reading, revisiting all of my favorite stories because I'm a nerd and they made me feel better. See, I always liked to disappear into a good story and pretend like I was in a place that was entirely more exciting than plain old Earth. Being sick just put things into perspective even more. I wanted to spend my last few days doing something I enjoyed. I wasn't going to stop living until I couldn't anymore.

Then finally one day, I closed my eyes and just went to sleep. It wasn't a weird sleep. It wasn't even a purposeful sleep. One second I was in my hospital bed, and the next I just sort of dozed off, like for a nap. I had been so tired. All I wanted was a little bit a rest. My brother was coming to visit me that afternoon, and I wanted to be awake for him. That was it.

The moment was so trivial, but when it comes down to it, that was how I died.

It was painless, and, in a way, I suppose I had been ready for it too. Or as ready as I was ever going to be. I was sick of being sick.

Things were dark for a while after that. I felt like I was floating in a limbo where I wasn't in pain anymore. I think that maybe I had some self-awareness wherever I was. Like if I had wanted to wake up, I probably could've forced myself to- though I don't know which world I would've been in if I had come to. The thing is though, I didn't particularly want to go back to my body just yet. There's something magical about feeling absolutely nothing. I felt clean and perfect for the first time in a while, and like hell was I going to mess with that.

Somebody would shake me awake when I was needed, I remember thinking. Deep down though, I knew that was it. Nobody was going to come get me anymore, or rather, I wasn't going to be able to come back when they did.

So I rested, and rested, and rested, letting the bliss wash through my soul taking the illness away. I think I could've stayed in that place forever, and been perfectly at peace. But at the same time, when I first heard the voices, I wasn't really complaining either. They were faint for a while, resting just at the edge of my conscious, like music I wasn't really paying attention to. Then eventually, I could distinguish them more.

First and foremost, I couldn't understand them. That was the first concrete thought that made me stir after I closed my eyes in the hospital. They weren't speaking English. Their dialect was still familiar though. I just couldn't place it.

I wonder if they brought in foreign doctors. Even the thought seemed to strike a note of wrongness to me. No, that was impossible. But I didn't know why it was impossible. None of it made sense. Why did I need a doctor again? I was... I was something. I just couldn't find the word. Where were my words?

My answers just weren't coming to me, and it made me feel disturbed. I decided I wanted to wake up then, but it was too late. My eyes weren't working. I was just going to have to wait until something happened because I was suddenly useless.

The voices continued, and soon I began to notice patterns. Different people seemed to be passing by around me. Sometimes, there was a man with a deep voice who was always filled with loud laughter. Sometimes, there was a women, who seemed to be full of terse quips and off-put tones. Other times there was a soft coo that loved to sing and hum to me. That was the one that was there the most. Sometimes the singer's voice would fade out, but it always came back again, even sometimes when all the other voices had gone away.

I liked that voice. It made me feel like somebody was reading stories to me, and I just couldn't understand them.

I wished that I could sing back to them.

Even if I couldn't really sing. There seemed to be something special about that voice. Singing with it just felt like it would be a happy thing to do.

More time passed. The singing continued, in fact, it got louder. The voices that once seemed so distance, now felt like they were right next to me. I could pick out every vowel and consonant, every pitch and tremble. My frustration was mounting- and that's saying something because I'm usually not quick to a rise. The world was right there. I could hear it, but I wasn't a part of it. Just like I could hear the singer, but not understand them. Everything was just out of my reach.

This place was suddenly a prison. I was completely ready to wake up, but something was keeping me tied here in this limbo.

Come on, I'm feeling a lot better. Nurse, come wake me up. A pit formed in my gut. Nurse...

And then the world suddenly felt like it fell sideways, and the singer cried out. A wave of jarring dizziness washed over me, and things felt like they were spinning. The singer was in distress around me, and suddenly there was other voices there too- both the terse woman and another man that I didn't recognize. The woman didn't seem so mad anymore. In fact, her panic was apparent. For a moment, there seemed to be a few directions being exchanged, and then I felt like I was being moved.

Not rolled around in a chair like I should have been in the hospital though. More like I was stuck inside of a ketchup bottle, and somebody was suddenly ready to eat a hotdog. I was never one to feel claustrophobic before, but it was uncomfortable. I could feel my heart thumping hard in my chest as the world jerked to the side yet again.

Something was wrong, but I was trapped. I didn't know what was happening, let alone how to fix it. So I just kind of waited in limbo while the singer cried out somewhere above me. They- no she, the singer was a woman, I could tell now- were clearly in pain. There was no more soft humming, only wails. Rushed jargon seemed to be floating around her as well, as somebody either talked to her or over her.

That made me feel better. I didn't have to be helpful if somebody else was working things out. It was going to be fine. We weren't alone here in the void.

And then, just like that, the darkness seemed to break apart all at once, as light materialized out of seemingly nothing. It was so bright that it was overwhelming. How long had I been floating? It must have been forever to affect me this much. I opened my mouth to start asking questions, but I found that I couldn't speak. My mouth couldn't physically shape itself into words.

Somewhere very very close, a baby was crying

It was so cold too. I hadn't really realized how warm I had been just a few moments ago. Temperature hadn't really registered at all. But the light felt like an ice bath now, and I was having none of it.

Yeah, my first few hours back in the world weren't the best I've ever had. See, when you're first born, your eyesight is a little below par. I wish I had known that before- maybe it would've saved me a whole lot of confusion in the beginning.

Yup, you heard me right. I said, 'first born'. That baby crying, uh huh, that was me. I had just been born again. I wish I could give you a better explanation of the entire situation, but nobody ever bothered explain it to me. All I can tell you is that one minute I was in a hospital room dying, and the next, I was in a different hospital room living, just in a much smaller body.

Around me the world had moved so fast. The singer that I had become so accustomed to while surrounded by nothing had fallen silent, and seemed to have disappeared. In fact, there really wasn't anything consistent about my first few days in my new body. It was a lot to take in and digest.

Fortunately though, my eyesight did improve after a bit. Most things were still a blur of light, shapes, and figures, and it was like that for months. I kind of feel bad about it now. I wasn't a good baby at all. I would start crying every time something around me changed, and would fuss every time someone picked me up to carry me off. It was a solid three months of being horribly disoriented.

Hell yeah I was upset.

Eventually though, my vision did improve. Gradually I realized that a brown haired man was taking care of me. Him, and his wife; although even then, instinct told me they were not my parents. There were two boys too. One had brown hair and was just pushing five, while the other was black haired and was just starting to talk and walk. I shared a room with the latter. Sometimes a blonde woman and another boy, who looked to be about ten or eleven, would come visit me as well.

I didn't even realize how familiar they were at first because I saw their faces so slowly as my vision cleared. Eventually though, I did wake up one day and realize that I could see everything crystal clear. And on that same day, I happened to take a good look at a picture on the wall while I was being fed. It was a picture of three little kids, one of which I recognized to be the blonde woman 15 to 20 years back.

Then a chill went through me as I took a better look.

She was next to an unnaturally pale boy with long dark hair, and another with this uncontrollable mane of white locks. All three of them were wearing headbands with little leaf symbols on them. The garbled words that everyone had been speaking around me suddenly began to swarm around my mind. Tsunade. I realized. They said the word Tsunade sometimes.

Oh shit.

I glanced up at the man who was holding me right now with wide eyes. Hiruzen, I realized. Hiruzen Sarutobi, the third Hokage was feeding me a bottle. Right now.

I fussed quite a bit as all the puzzle pieces started crashing together at once. The kid that always came over with Tsunade was Nawaki, her little brother who died in the middle of the Second War. And then the older boy who lived in the house... well, his hair was too light to be Asuma's, but then again, it was always implied that Hiruzen had a second son. I had always assumed that he had died somewhere along the way too. They never actually showed Konohamaru's father on screen after all.

Then of course, if the older one wasn't Asuma, that made the baby who was on the other half of my room team ten's future jonin sensei. I blinked. Wow I must have just jumped off the deep end. Thinking you've been reincarnated was crazy, but thinking that you were suddenly living inside of a god damned manga was on a whole other level of insane.

Okay nurse, time to wake me up. Joke's over.

Nobody came to wake me up. I was already awake. Even if it didn't seem real yet, it was. This was my life now, and I was just going to have to get used to it. Anyways, I suppose there are worse places to be than Konoha. Right?


	3. Dreaming: Chapter 1

**Dreaming**

_"The world is in your palm, now, take a breath and calm down. 'Cause you have been selected, you've been selected."_

* * *

 

When you realize that you have a second chance at life, there are a lot of thoughts that go through your mind. You think about everything that you did in your past life- all your joys and all your regrets. You think about things you wanted that you never got, and of the people you spent your days with. It's a very introspective moment, or at least it was for me. I had died so young in my first life. I had wanted to do so much more.

There was a large amount of fear too. The good news was that I was alive. I knew that before of course, but things were a tad clearer now. I was alive, but I wasn't in a familiar place. I would never see my family again, and a lot of the things that I wanted to have and do before simply didn't exist here. I was going to have to learn a new language, a new culture, and rework everything I thought I knew about myself. What's more, my new family was probably in mortal danger. Not immediately, of course, but I knew enough about Naruto to know most of their fates. Looking around, I was practically living in a walking graveyard.

When you read a story, there's always a certain level of security regarding the main characters. In a book, the protagonist is almost never the one who dies. I never read the end of Naruto- it didn't finish up before I passed. But I can say with reasonable certainty that Naruto, Sakura, even Sasuke, probably all live. That's just how these things work. Everyone else though- they're vulnerable. People love the minor characters. They make the world a lot more interesting, but to an extent they're disposable. If Kiba, for example, died in the first 200 chapters of the manga, would Naruto still save the world? Probably.

What happens now though? There are no main characters in real life. There's just people, and these people who were taking care of me didn't feel like minor characters. They didn't seem expendable. I thought of a world without them for just a moment, feeling my little heart grow tight in my chest. If they were gone, I'd be alone here. I had loved my old family so much. They had been my world before, and loosing them made everything feel impossible. Somebody out there had given me a new one though. Hiruzen, Biwako, Asuma, and the other older boy whose name I didn't know yet. They cared about me. When I fussed in the middle of the night, they were the ones who came. Without them, well, there wouldn't be anything left.

I didn't want to loose everything, not again.

That led to so many other questions though. Let's start with the elephant in the room- who was I? In the following weeks, I would realize that Tsunade appeared to be my cousin, but I don't remember her having any other family mentioned outside Nawaki and the first Hokage. Where did I fit into this story? There were two options that I figured lay here. One was significantly more attractive to me than the other. See, the first option was that I was never supposed to be here, that my very presence is going to disturb the balance of the universe or something. For all I knew, the manga itself was wrong. Maybe I could be the hero of this story and save everyone from a lot of grief. Sounds like a good deal doesn't it?

Now let's look at the other option. See, it's equally possible that the reason I don't remember Hiruzen taking care of a little girl is because I don't live long enough to make any difference at all. Wouldn't that be the cherry on top of the cake huh? I get a second chance at life, just to have it snuffed out before I could even scratch the surface of this new world.

If that was the way of things though, then there was nothing that I could do now to change things. I had to just hope for the best and pray that my life wasn't pointless. So there you have it. I made a decision back then, in the beginning, that I was going to believe that I could make a difference. Naruto's always talking about protecting people, after all. Hell, the entire series never stops harping on loyalty and love. I could get behind that.

I would do my best to live by Naruto's words. His way would be my way. I would try my best to protect my new family. Else, I would die an unfortunately early death trying.

Time passed on, and I threw myself back into the world. I wouldn't be this fussy baby forever. I had a life to live, and to live it, I had to learn to be a member of my new society. My first obstacles- learning to walk and talk again.

From that day forward, I listened to the jabber of my family with a newfound fever. I needed to understand their words. I couldn't participate in society without the language, after all. The first words that I started to get were names. I could pick out Asuma's name whenever Biwako was yelling at him, and I could tell who the older boy, Isamu, was yelling for when he came home from the academy in the afternoon. I could even tell when people were talking to me. Natsuki. It wasn't much like my old name, but I could get used to it I suppose. It had a pretty ring to it when Biwako cooed at me in the morning. I wasn't the old me anymore, I was Natsuiki. Natsuki Senju.

After I learned people's names, it was easier to extrapolate the rest of what they were saying. It wasn't exactly a walk in the park, but I started to learn, gradually. In my past life, I wasn't athletic. Academics had always been my turf. This was almost like an accelerated mandatory language training course. It consumed all of my time, every minute, of every day. It's really not all that surprising that I learned fast.

Interestingly enough, Asuma was the most helpful Sarutobi around the house when it came to my little learning regimen. He was older than me, but not by too much. By the time I had grounded myself in my new world, Asuma was babbling and even starting to toddle- probably almost a year old. Because he had such a limited vocabulary himself though, Asuma's diction was the easiest for me to follow. He was a pretty loud kid, quick to throw a tantrum when something wasn't quite how he wanted it. Dinner, for example, was a nightly battle with him. I learned all of my food groups by listening to him argue with Biwako about which vegetables he didn't want to eat and which treats he did.

Asuma was good to me though. See, he seemed to have gotten it in his head that I was his little sister. Well, I guess he wasn't wrong. But anyhow, once I had stopped being such a useless whiney baby, he took quite the interest in me. He was the first person to acknowledge that there was a mind and a person in my little body. There was a specific day, when we were sitting in Biwako's living room, surrounded by a pile of baby toys that it seemed to connect with him. He had been playing with a little monkey figurine while I watched. I was probably around five months old now, and had just recently mastered the art of sitting up on my own.

He looked up and caught my eye with a sudden interest. "Nat," he said, then held up his toy. "This is my monkey."

I blinked a few times, while I digested his sentence. Like I said, I was still getting used to the language, but I got what he was saying. From that day on, Asuma was like my own personal teacher. We were constantly together, being the two babies in the family, and he seemed to understand all my little gestures in ways that the others didn't. I would make sounds until I got Asuma's attention and pat things. Then he'd name them for me. It was like a little game that we played.

We amused Biwako I think, who didn't play along with me the way that Asuma would. "Are you talking to Natsuki again?" she'd ask as Asuma chattered away to me on the floor.

"No mom, I'm teaching her," Asuma corrected her.

"Oh, excuse me," Biwako smiled softly. "That's very nice of you."

By the time I was six months old, I said my first words in a very deliberate fashion. It was dinner time, on a rare night that Biwako had managed to wrangle all of the boys, including Hiruzen into having a nice family meal. Asuma was always much more dramatic when his father was home, and I could see the tantrum welling in his little baby lungs from a mile away. Biwako was trying to get him to eat fish for dinner, after all, and he hated pink foods. I had been babbling for a few weeks and decided that it was about time I put some of my sounds together.

"Asuma!" I called out just as he was balling his little hands into defiant fists. "Fish!"

Just like that, any concern that the boy had about dinner had vanished, and he was looking at me very excitedly. "Nat! Say it again," he demanded exuberantly.

"Asuma," I grinned.

Isamu breathed a laugh and rolled his eyes. "Of course she'd say your name first," he said.

Hiruzen let out a gritty chuckle, clearly very amused. "Better watch out Asuma, Natsuki is going to be chasing you around the house soon," he said.

Biwako was quiet, but her eyes were on me, watching. That really wasn't so unusual, of course. Biwako was always watching. Honestly, if someone told me the woman was descended from hawks, I wouldn't be so surprised. Every time one of us even thought of causing trouble, she was there almost instantaneously. Still, something about her gaze made me feel a little squeamish inside. I wasn't used to being the one under scrutiny in the house. Usually Asuma was the one she was keeping an eye on all the time.

Did she know? Could she tell that I was more than everybody thought?

I had thought about telling them all about me, once I was able to of course. But part of me wondered. Why would they believe me? Or worse, what would happen if they did? I trusted Hiruzen. He was a good man. I could tell just from watching him in his everyday life with his kids and the village. But there were other people to think about too. See, being so close to Hiruzen, we ran into a lot of other rather important villagers.

Orochimaru and Danzo included.

I'll never forget the first time I saw them both. The first time I met Orochimaru was brief and rather uneventful. The only reason I remembered it at all was because I had just been so surprised by his visit in the first place. He had been paying his sensei a house call, for something that was probably important. Hiruzen answered the door with me bobbing in his arms.

"Orochimaru," Hiruzen greeted him, surprised.

"Sensei," the pale man had nodded in return. He seemed more serious than I expected. His tone was all business, and he didn't seem to be particularly enthused to be visiting. If I hadn't known better, I wouldn't have thought anything of him. He would've just been another village ninja. Albiet one of the weirder looking ones, what with the snake eyes.

"You're back early," Hiruzen commented, his eyes peering beyond Orochimaru towards the street. "Come in."

Orochimaru followed wordlessly, shutting the door as he stepped into the living room. He didn't look at me properly until we had made it all the way into the living room, and even when he did, it was with a sort of bored duty. Like he knew Hiruzen would expect him to ask about me.

"This is Tsunade's new brat?" Orochimaru raised an eyebrow.

"Mm, my brat now," Hiruzen confirmed. "Natsuki, this is Orochimaru-senpai. He's good friends with your Tsunade-nee."

"Hi Orochimaru-senpai," I said carefully, balling part of Hiruzen's shirt in my fists. The words felt so strange. Orochimaru-senpai. If somebody had told me I'd be calling the Orochimaru senpai fifteen years ago when I had first gotten into the Naruto series, I would have called them crazy. That's life though. Or at least, that was my life.

"How cute," Orochimaru commented, though he didn't seem to really mean it. "Would you like to be debriefed sensei?"

"Yes, I suppose so," Hiruzen sighed, putting me down. "Isamu! Could you come into the living room and look after Natsuki for a bit!"

"One second!" Isamu's voice drifted in from the other room.

Twenty minutes later I was throwing a ball at the back of Asuma's head, while Hiruzen had some sort of business meeting with the man that would kill him one day. I didn't get a wink of sleep that night, my mind was moving too fast for me. In the end though, I guess I shouldn't have expected much else from that moment. I was going to have met Orochimaru eventually. That day was as good as any. At least he hadn't shown any weird interest in me at least.

The same couldn't be said about Danzo.

The first time I met Danzo, Hiruzen wasn't actually present. See, as I mentioned earlier I was related to Tsunade somehow, through an Uncle or something. Because of this, Tsunade visited me pretty frequently. Most of the times, she would just pop in for dinner randomly with her brother Nawaki. Other times, Nawaki would come without her. Then, on some rare special occasions, she would be able to escape the hospital for a whole day and she would take me to the park.

Isamu and Asuma would usually come with us on those days as well, but I always got special attention from my cousins when we went. Nawaki would hoist me up on his shoulders and I'd get to see the world from almost an adult height on the way over there. Asuma would get jealous occasionally on these trips. But Isamu was always ready to swoop in and stop any crises in their tracks, putting his little brother on his shoulders so that nobody felt left out.

That day we were going to a new park on the other side of the village. It was the first time that I was leaving the Sarutobi clan's land while also having my wits about me. "Look up there Natsuki, Asuma," Nawaki said pointing up towards the Hokage mountain. I started at the monument with wide eyes. The manga hadn't done this justice. Maybe it was just because I was so small, but the Hokage faces were ginormous. Of course, there were only three faces carved into the cliff face at the moment, but the three men were fixed up there like watchful pillars.

"That's Dad!" Asuma squeaked. "Isamu-nii, that's Dad!"

"Mmhmm," Isamu nodded with a proud look in his eye. He always stood a little taller when people talked about Hiruzen's position in the village.

"Do you know whose next to Sarutobi-Sensei?" Tsunade asked me curiously.

"Second Hokage," I answered.

"Yes," she nodded, seeming unusually solemn. This was weird for Tsunade. Typically she was more apt to let us kids zoom around wildly while she supervised. Occasionally she'd always cut in with a fond sarcastic quip when she thought we needed to calm down. But she was still always pretty quiet, just happy to be present. It looked like I was going to get a lesson today though. "He's your great-grandpa too. Like what the Saru Obji-sama is to Isamu and Asuma."

"Me?" I blinked looking up at the second Hokage. I don't know what I had thought before. I knew I was related to Tsunade, and therefore I had to somehow be connected to the first two Hokage. Hell, I even had the white hair growing in right now in wild puffs. It just never really clicked though. The Senju was supposed to have been a great clan once upon a time. I had quite a legacy to live up to.

"And the first Hokage's our grandpa!" Nawaki chimed in. "I'm going to be Hokage just like him one day Natsuki-chan. My face is going to go right there." He pointed towards the empty space beside Hiruzen's bust.

"You've got to graduate first," Tsunade rolled her eyes dramatically, flicking her brother in the shoulder. Asuma giggled, but I couldn't find it in me to find their banter amusing. Nawaki was eight years old right now, not yet graduated from the academy. I still had time to enjoy his involvement in my life. Nonetheless, I knew where his dream was going to lead him.

"Taken up baby-sitting Tsunade-chan?" a deep cold voice cut in on our left. Nawaki wheeled around, startled, spinning me with him on his shoulders. A few feet behind us was a dark haired man with a cross shaped scar on his chin. He looked like he had just stepped out of the hospital, as he was pretty patched up. The entire right side of his head was wrapped in bandages, and he had a few patches on his neck and hands. i recognized him immediately.

"Danzo-sama, how nice to see you out," Tsunade said. She sounded murderous. "I thought Aina-senpai had told you-"

"Yes, I know what she told me," Danzo said.

"Then I'm going to have to insist that you return to the hospital. You should be resting." This was a side of Tsunade that I had not seen in real life. The scary half.

"Resting is not going to regrow my eye girl," Danzo practically spat. He had a fire in his face that rivaled Tsunade, and it scared me. The man was furious, that much was plain. It dawned on me that I had never seen an angry ninja before. Hiruzen, Biwako, and Tsunade were really the only ones I was ever around, and they never really had their ninja faces on when talking with me. This was something new and different to me all together.

"This is not the time or the place for this conversation," Tsunade retorted. His eye cut towards us like a dagger, passing over Asuma, Isamu, Nawaki, and then finally landing for a moment on me. Then, just like that, he swallowed his anger whole, and settled into a cold stoney mask.

"Of course not," he said. "I hadn't realized you were with the Hokage-sama's family."

"It's fine. I'm sure you're still very upset about your eye Danzo-sama. Your judgement must be a little cloudy," Tsunade said deliberately. For a moment I thought Danzo was going to slap her or something, but he didn't. Instead his eyes flickered back to me. I didn't like that.

"This is the child Hiruzen took in?" he asked. "Kojirama's daughter?"

"Her name is Natsuki," Tsunade said gritting her teeth. I shrunk a little on Nawaki's shoulders. Danzo's gaze was piercing, like he could see something in me that I didn't even know was there. I glanced over looking for support from someone or something. Asuma looked blatantly confused though, and Isamu was staring at Danzo looking startled.

"If she ever needs help," Danzo went on, as if he hadn't heard her. "Let me know."

With that, Danzo wheeled around and stalked off. Nawaki's shoulders sagged a little the instant he was gone, and I let out a breath I hadn't even known I was holding.

"Who's that?" Asuma asked immediately. He sounded like he might cry. I was actually impressed that he hadn't started already. Asuma was still only a little over one year old. Most toddlers would have cried after seeing that sort of hostility out of a man like Danzo.

"One of Sarutobi-sensei's advisors," Tsunade said. "They were genin together, a long time ago, underneath the second Hokage."

"I've met him before," Isamu murmured quietly. "He's usually not so... so..."

"Danzo-sama is just upset. We had a disagreement earlier... about an injury from his last mission" Tsunade cut Isamu off. She had calmed down a little, but I could almost feel her anger lingering there, just under the surface. Whatever that was, it wasn't really a spontaneous outburst from either of them. Tsunade was mad at Danzo for a lot more than she was letting on.

"He offered me help," I said, blinking. I still felt like I was in shock. What did that mean? I think- although I'm not entirely certain about this- that Danzo had just blatantly offered to place me in his Root division to train me.

"Yeah, that was weird," Nawaki agreed.

"The second Hokage was Danzo-sama's sensei, just like he was for Sarutobi-sensei," Tsunade said. Yes, I suppose that made sense. If I was Danzo, and I was given any sort of opportunity to train Tobirama's great-grandaughter in any capacity, I'd probably take it. "Listen to me though Natsuki, you be careful around him okay? He means well for the village, but he doesn't always see eye to eye with Sarutobi-sensei."

I nodded. Tsunade didn't have to worry about me going to Danzo. I was going to stay the hell away from that man at all costs. I wanted to become a ninja, but not like that. Konoha was so different from my old home. There were things that people thought were acceptable here, that would never have been remotely okay where I came from. Danzo's values might have been acceptable to some of the people raised here. But they would never be okay with me.

I was finally getting used to things here. Danzo would not be the one to screw it all up for me.


	4. Dreaming: Chapter 2

**Dreaming**

_"I think the air is finally safe to breath again, to breath again"_

* * *

By the time I was fifteen months old, I was a fully functioning human being again. I had learned to talk, walk, even conquered the stairs. I finally felt like I was getting settled in here; although, I guess I still had a long way to go before this new life had any semblance of my old one. See, being able to walk and talk wasn't quite the same as being an adult. I was only barely over two feet tall- that was short even compared to the other one year olds. When standing next to Asuma, I looked less like a toddler and more like a strangely intelligent newborn baby. Naturally, I wasn't exactly commanding respect.

It bothered me more than it should have. I knew that one day I'd probably look back on my baby years and appreciate them a lot more, but still. I wanted it to happen faster. Even Asuma occasionally treated me like I was a helpless little waif just because I was so much smaller than him. I'd made it a full year, but I've got to say, the baby life just wasn't for me. I knew my restlessness, when people started to noticed how restless I had gotten.

"You know, eating all that daifuku isn't going to help you grow," Tsunade teased me during a trip to the park. I was having a rough day because one of the medics Tsunade worked with asked whose baby I was, and my coping mechanism was to drown all my sorrows in dessert. When Tsunade commented though, it struck such a sore nerve that I almost dropped my plate into the sidewalk. God forbid I do anything right now that made me grow slower than I already was.

Tsunade snorted. "Geez kid, I was joking."

"Sorry," I blushed, swinging my feet in my chair.

"Well Daifuku isn't going to stunt your growth, okay?" Tsunade raised an eyebrow. I think she was still making fun of me, but I appreciated that she was at least pretending to set me straight. "If you aren't growing fast enough, blame your mom."

"My mom? Like my real mom?" I blinked at her, momentarily distracted from my Daifuku.

"Yeah, I swear she was the smallest kunoichi in all of Konoha. You've got her frame," Tsunade poked my shoulder. "Otherwise though I guess you look a lot like your Dad. The hair, the eyes- that's all him."

I guess that made sense, since my father was the Senju in the family. My wild white hair must've come down from Tobirama through him. I was surprised though to hear that I shared my eyes with my father. They were a very familiar dark brown color. Interestingly enough, they happened to be the very same shade they had been in my past life. Personally, I liked them that way. They made me feel like I was still looking at me when I happened to cross a mirror. What's the saying? The eyes are the window to the soul? Whoever thought that up must've been right because my eyes were my only whisper of proof that the old me was still in there somewhere.

Also, apparently Tobirama's eyes had been red. It would've been pretty creepy to walk around with blood red eyes. I could deal with the weird white hair color because it seemed to be normal around here. Red eyes though. That would have taken some serious adjusting.

When I had conversations about my parents, I was always thankful that I still had my memories from my past life. Kojirama and Mura Senju sounded like they had been wonderful people. I could only imagine that a normal little girl would ache for the hole that their deaths had left in her life. I wasn't normal though. Talking about them was interesting to me, because it gave me clues as to where I had come from. Yet Kojirama and Mura didn't feel real to me. When I thought of my parents, I thought of the people I left behind from before. They were hopefully moving on with their lives now, finally recovering from the death of the daughter. I missed them sorely.

I'm getting distracted though. That's my bad. I was spending too much time thinking about the past these days, and I knew it wasn't healthy. Like I said, I was bored, and that left my mind wandering to bad places.

My days just had no point to them anymore. Before, games with Asuma had been a learning exercise for the language. Now they were literally just pointless games. Don't get me wrong, I liked kids well enough, but there's only so much toddler time most normal adults can take before they start to go crazy. I needed some kind of stimulation, some goal to be working towards. All of this down time was killing me.

So I decided to do something about it.

"Biwako-san," I walked over to her one afternoon, when playing with Asuma was really starting to drive me crazy.

"Mm?" she said, looking at me carefully.

"Will you teach me out to read?" I asked.

"Most children don't learn how to ready until they're older. Isamu started to learn when he was three," Biwako said. I rocked forward onto my toes. This was typical Biwako. It didn't matter that my request was pretty mature and educational. She just wanted me to work a little to get what I wanted- show her that I had some good logical thinking skills. This was why Asuma never got what he wanted without throwing two and a half tantrums. He wasn't very good at giving Biwako any sort of reasoning beyond "but I want it."

"Did Isamu ask to start learning earlier?" I countered smoothly. She looked at me with her piercing hawk eyes, scrutinizing my polite smile. She was going to give into me, I knew that already. In fact, I bet she was secretly pleased, although it was hard to tell. Biwako was very hard to read.

That didn't change the fact that my request was weird. I was coming off as too mature, talking like a twenty year old woman instead of a baby who'd just recently learned to a walk. Most of the time, I thought I did an okay job acting my age. I played with Asuma, loved junk food, and made sure to push the boundaries of the house once in a while just to keep Biwkao on her feet. There were some things, though, that I knew I'd never be able to do quite right. I didn't cry enough, I was too rational when I didn't get something I wanted, and I got caught paying attention to adult conversations with a little too much interest. Biwako and Hiruzen had to have noticed by now that there was something different about me. They were freaking ninja for pete's sake. I just had to hope they hadn't noticed too much.

"Okay," she nodded finally. "We will start tomorrow night, after Isamu get's back from school."

"Yes, thank you Biwako-san," I squealed, elated.

The next day, after Isamu returned, Biwako asked me to come sit at the dinner table with her. "Where ya going Nat?" Asuma asked when I got up to go join her.

"Biwako-san is going to teach me how to read," I told him.

"Oh," he blinked. "But we were going to play ninja today."

"We have been playing ninja," I said, suddenly feeling kind of guilty. I hadn't thought about how Asuma would feel about this. I had just assumed he'd be happy to just keep on playing by himself. Apparently that wasn't the case. "I want to be able to read stories all by myself. We can still play with each other all day. Just think about it like we're taking a little break for a while so I can learn. Anyways, Isamu just got back. You can make him play with you. "

Asuma didn't seem to be happy with that, but he accepted it all the same. I spent the rest of the evening in a somewhat grueling lesson with Biwako. Learning to speak might as well have been a cakewalk; reading was clearly something else entirely. Japanese kanji were nothing like the English alphabet. There were so many different characters to learn, and a lot of them had several different meanings to them. It was like trying to build a puzzle with pieces that kept changing shapes. My brain was swimming within minutes.

Thankfully, Biwako was more than patient with me. She had dug out some of Isamu's old books, and was sifting through each and every syllable with me. Then she'd go over the picture that went with the sentence and we'd connect every word to the image. Hiruzen was home by the time we had gotten through the book completely the first time, but we kept forging ahead .

"You have another book to start?" I asked. Biwako shook her head while she dug a pencil and some paper out from one of the drawers.

"I taught Isamu to write at the same time he learned to read. It helps you remember the characters, and is just as important," she explained. Then she had me copy the whole story down, reading it aloud a second time as I went. Writing was a lot easier than reading. Probably because I didn't actually have to learn anything new to do it. The only issue I had was that the pencil felt too big in my tiny hands, making my handwriting a bit sloppier than it used to be. Still, it came out looking almost reasonable.

"You're very good at that," Biwako said quietly. She was giving me that look again. The one that said 'this girl is too smart for her age'.

"Thanks," I muttered, feeling my cheeks turn red. It was too late to pretend to start acting like a normal baby, so I just took the compliment and continued.

After another hour of work, we were interrupted by the pitter patter of little feet entering the dining room.

"Mom?" Asuma came in, sounding sheepish. Biwako raised an eyebrow at him. "When's Nat going to be done?"

"At bed time. Natsuki asked to learn, and so she's got to be committed to her studies," Biwako said firmly.

"Oh, okay," Asuma said, before shirking back off into the hallway. Another pang of guilt went through me, but I swallowed it. This wasn't as big a deal. We weren't going to be playing ninja in the living room forever. Anyways, I could just make it up to him tomorrow before my lesson started; I'd let him have the Hokage role without any questions asked.

The rest of the week continued just like that day. In the morning I would hang out with Asuma- who was getting crankier by the minute. Then in the evening Biwako would steal me away to sit through three to four hours of reading lessons. Every now and then Biwako would take a break and have Isamu sit with me. I was always there for the full time though. No breaks and no complaints.

Saturday brought a break from the routine. Nakwaki came romping through the door around lunch time, apparently excited about something.

"Natsuki-chan!" he practically shouted when he saw me sitting on the carpet with Asuma.

"Hi" I blinked, mildly surprised to see him. Tsunade had said that she was going to be busy today, and Nawaki told me he wanted to take advantage of his sister's absence to practice throwing shuriken.

Asuma jumped to his feet at the sight of my cousin. "Nawaki-kun! Are you here to take us to the park?" he grinned. I guess not even Asuma could be mopey when there was a chance that the park might be on the agenda.

"Ah, sorry Asuma-kun. I've still got plans to meet up with my friends in an hour to train," Nawaki said. "I'm just swinging by for a minute. Natsuki, Tsunade told me that you were learning how to read?"

Asuma deflated like a balloon almost immediately, as his little baby cheeks turned into an aggressive pout. I was going to be doing damage control the minute Nawaki was gone. I swear, the reading thing was becoming a bigger sore spot by the minute.

"Yeah, I'm going to be able to read myself stories soon," I told Nawaki carefully. I was actually really excited about the little progress I was making, but Asuma was already pretty upset. I didn't want to make it too much worse by bragging.

"That's great! I brought you something that I thought you'd like," Nawaki bubbled, swinging a green backpack off his shoulders. He unzipped it and pulled out a thin raggedy leather-bound book, handing it to me. "This was my favorite when Tsuande taught me how to read. It's got my oji-san on the cover."

I looked at the book wide eyed. It was beautiful. On the cover was an intricate drawing of two formidable shinobi facing each other across a waterfall. Just like Nawaki had said, the first Hokage was the one with his back facing the reader. The black haired man across from him must have been Madara.

"What's the title?" I asked. My fingers traveled across the kanji written across the middle of the two men.

"Can't you read that yet?" Nawaki teased.

"It's The God of Shinobi and his Shadow," Asuma piped up, crossing his arms moodily. "Isamu's got that book on his shelf."

I looked up and frowned at him, feeling a small bubble of annoyance bloom in my stomach. What was with him this week?

Nawaki rolled his eyes. He didn't seem so surprised that Asuma was being pouty. I wondered if he'd spoken to Biwako recently about this. "I guess you don't want to know what I got for you, huh," Nawaki said.

Asuma paused, suddenly torn between whatever grudge he was holding and the bone Nawaki was throwing him. "You got me something too?" he sniffed finally.

Nawaki reached into his bag and pulled out a little wooden ninja figurine. Asuma reached out and took it, turning the toy over a few times in his hands, though I didn't miss the side glance he threw at my book. Nawaki seemed content with Asuma's reaction, and bounced back to his feet. "Well, that's all I've got. I've gotta go train now!"

"Nawaki wait!" I called out quickly before he got away.

"Hmm?"

I threw my little body at him and enveloped the kid into the biggest bear hug that I could manage. "Thank you, I love it," I told him quietly, so that Asuma wouldn't hear.

He grinned and ruffled my already wild hair. "No problem! This is what cousins are for."

Then he was gone, running out the door to go train with his friends. I watched out the window until he was out of sight. The book he'd given me was still in my hands, and the happy buzz hadn't quite dissipated quite yet. Nawaki really was good to me. I was so lucky to have him...

Suddenly I had a knot in my throat, but I swallowed it. He wasn't even a genin yet. There was still time to worry about all of the rest later.

That night, I insisted that we work with the book Nawaki had given me. It really was wonderful. Asuma was right when he'd told me that Isamu already owned this story. Biwako had even read it to me before I think, but the copy that Nawaki had given me seemed to be an original. The entire thing had been done completely by hand. The pictures were all painted in beautiful swirling colors, and the text written with a brush. Biwako said that you could always tell the quality of a document by the sort of writing utensil the author had used. Ninja used pencil for common paperwork, but fancier things like seals, clan historic documents, or even some books were all done with a brush.

The biggest event of the night wasn't sifting through my new present though. About an hour into my lesson, Asuma trotted into the room, looking equal parts angry and stubborn.

"I want to learn how to read!" he declared.

Biwako smirked at him, looking almost smug. "If you want to be a student, you're going to have to work very hard Asuma. You think you can show the dedication Natsuki is?" she asked.

Asuma crossed his arms. "If Natsuki can do it, I can do it," he declared fiercely.

From that night on, Asuma and I learned together.


	5. Diet Soda Society: Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arc Title and Chapter Quote from song Diet Soda Society by The Maine

**Diet Soda Society**

_"_ _Yes we all have the question, but we don't know what the answer is"_

* * *

Things moved along pretty smoothly after I asked Biwako to teach me how to read. Asuma didn't have half of the patience I did for lessons, but together the two of us made good progress. The stagnant boredom that had been plaguing me before was almost completely gone. Sure, I was still spending an excessive amount of time playing children's game, but my evenings were now reserved for me. Once I started making headway with the kanji- which admittedly took a long time- there was no stopping me. In the blink of an eye, I went from reading kid's fairy tales to beginner chapter books and then eventually to small novels.

By the time I was two, my evenings with Biwako weren't lessons anymore, they were just practice.

The best part about this was that it opened a new avenue for me to explore the ninja world without leaving the house. In my past life, reading had been about experiencing the impossible. Ever since being reborn though, I was living in a freaking adventure book- I was just too young to participate in it yet. Naturally, all I wanted to read were stories about ninja. The book Nawaki had given to me about the first Hokage was just a starting point. From there I went on to read books about the ninja heroes that predated villages, the first ninja war, and even a few how-to books about chakra and jutsu; although Biwako had forbidden me from testing out any of the techniques I was reading about.

My favorites were the ones specifically about the feats of the Senju clan. Every time I read about one of my ancestors, I was always left wondering- could I do that one day? Will I be able to turn water into dragons, or teleport, or split the earth wide open? I hoped so. If I couldn't, then my entire family might be doomed.

No pressure.

Asuma made fun of me a lot for all the books that I went through. I think he was just sour though because he couldn't keep up with my pace. It wasn't even that I was that much better at reading than him. I just never took any breaks. Meanwhile Asuma seemed to get bored after an hour or two. Still, he did a pretty good job in lessons for such a rambunctious two year old. Every time I asked for a bigger book, he was right behind me, demanding that he have one too. I think he was treating it like a kind of competition, and of course, Biwako looked smug every time he pushed himself further in an attempt to one up me.

Sometimes I wondered if pitting him against me in the whole reading debacle was all part of her big master plan. I swear, Biwako was secretly a manipulative evil mother-lord. Her life ambition was to turn Asuma into a gentleman through whatever means necessary, even if it was the last thing she ever did.

I loved her all the more for it.

I was finally settling into a happy place in life. When I wasn't reading, I was spending time with my new family. Being with them was starting to dull the lingering sting of grief that my past life had left burning in my gut. I went to sleep now thinking about Tsunade, Nawaki, Isamu and Asuma, instead of my parents and brother from before. There was, of course, still a lot of fear that went with that, but the fear was a little bit better than the grief. Anyways, I didn't feel like I had any thing to be afraid of just yet. My home in the Sarutobi household felt too safe to be touched by any impending tragedies. They all seemed like a distant myth that I could deal with later.

That was a mistake though. I should never have let myself think that the bad things were never going to come.

The signs had been there since even before I was born. Do you remember me talking about my father? Not Hiruzen or my dad from before, but the Senju one from here. I'd been told that he'd died on a mission when his team was ambushed by enemy nin. Hiruzen had said that he wasn't ever able to find out who the attackers had been, but I wonder now if he had been lying to me. That ambush had been violent and unexpected. It wasn't the sort of thing that just happened for no reason during peace time. To someone with a more trained eye, it might have even seemed like an act of war. That should've been my first clue that the village wasn't doing as well as they'd have everyone think.

But of course, I wasn't used to looking at the universe like that. This was a world full of dangerous shinobi, so of course my dad had died fighting other ninja. It had just made sense.

The next red flag that I'd missed was that interaction with Danzo- the one from when we first met. He had been mad at Tsunade because he'd lost his eye; however, I'd been so creeped out after he glanced at me that I never questioned the fact that someone had cut out his eye. Missing the suspicious circumstances surrounding my father's death was one thing, but honestly, I can't believe I hadn't questioned this more. Eyes were pretty difficult things to misplace, and it's not like I was used to seeing people loose appendages. My first thought when I saw Danzo should have been: gee this guy's missing an eye, that's strange. Anyways, why was Danzo, an advisor to the Hokage, going on missions that put him in such grave danger? Who on earth had the audacity to walk up to some of Konoha's top brass and just cut an eye out?

I was really past due for a reality check. I was really lucky that my inevitable wake-up call came from gentle hands.

It was mid-November, probably about a month after Asuma's third birthday. Everything seemed like it was business as usual. Isamu was starting to learn jutsu at the academy, and Biwako was starting to take a few random shifts at the Hospital now that we were getting older. Everything felt normal, except Hiruzen had began to work more, like a lot more.

Before, the unspoken rule seemed to be that he'd come home for dinner at least three nights a week, and spend a few hours with us afterwards. Sometimes he still would have to return to the office, and other times all we got was a shadow clone; but he was always a presence in our lives. Sometime in late summer though, that rule had become more of a suggestion. Eventually there was a point when I realized that it'd been two weeks since I'd seen him last.

"Biwako-san," I decided to press the issue during lessons.

"Mm?" Biwako raised an eyebrow.

"Where's Hiruzen-san been lately?" I asked.

"The village has been very busy lately, and he's had a lot to deal with. He knows he hasn't been home very much. Being Hokage is a tough job though. It's our duty to be patient with him," Biwako told me. It almost sounded like a premeditated answer, like she was expecting one of us to ask her about this eventually.

I chewed on my lip thoughtfully. The village was busy, huh. I'd think that it would always be pretty busy, but I suppose that even Konoha had a sort of ebb and flow to it. Maybe it was normal that some years would be more chaotic than others, even in peace time. I made a decision to try and accept Biwako's answer for what it was. My biggest immediate concern was directed more towards Asuma. He was not taking his father's absence as well as I was, and was starting to get pouty whenever someone mentioned the word "Hokage". Asuma could be quite the drama queen when he wanted to be.

Still, I guess I did have some common sense lurking somewhere, because despite my best efforts, Biwako had managed to plant a seed of doubt in me. In the days that followed, I found my thoughts drifting incessantly towards the impending war. I think some part of me had been hoping that it'd never come, that I was going to discover my world was entirely different from the manga. I just wanted everyone to be safe, but that was probably too much to ask for.

Two nights later, I found myself lying awake in my bed, turning all the details of my short life over in my head, looking for signs of war. The red flags that I'd missed before were standing out now that I was giving them a second thought, and I was starting to connect the dots. Finally after an hour or two, I decided that sleep probably wasn't going to happen, and my time would better be spent reading a book. At least then I'd be distracted from all these thoughts of death and destruction.

With a weary stretch, I sat up, climbed out of my bed, and tiptoed across the room that Asuma and I shared. As long as Biwako hadn't moved it, my book should've been sitting on the living room table. Unfortunately, I didn't make it very far before getting distracted. See, when I eased my bedroom door shut, I noticed a trace of fine black ink on the frame near the floor. It almost looked like a kanji character, but it was unlike any I'd ever seen. The lines had a swirling pattern to them that seemed to defy the norms of a conventional Japanese letter.

It's a seal, my instinct told me.

I stared at it in wonder. What was a seal doing on our door? I guess either Hiruzen or Biwako must've put it there, but still, why? I peered down the hall at Isamu's room to see that there was another one on his doorframe. Hiruzen and Biwako's room was further down the hall, around a corner, and on some whim I decided to go investigate that way.

I could hear their voices before I'd even gotten half way there.

"It's Suna, there's no doubt now, not that there was any before" Hiruzen's gritty voice carried through the night. "I don't think I'll have much of a choice soon."

"Maybe Danzo was right. Maybe we shouldn't have waited so long," Biwako said quietly.

"It's been twenty years; we've grown complacent. Half the shinobi in this village haven't ever experienced a real war, and another handful were too young to participate in the last one. If I give the go-ahead, it's going to hit us hard. One in three ninja died during the first war. It'll be worse this time, I'm sure of it," Hiruzen said.

"I was there," Biwako reminded him. "I remember."

My mouth was dry. Shit. Shit. Shit. It was starting. Not tomorrow, not next month, it was starting now. Hell, the way Hiruzen was speaking, it sounded like I was late to the party. This had been brewing for weeks, maybe even for months or years. They just hadn't announced it to the public yet. I felt like my entire body might have been shaking. I wasn't ready yet. I was only two and a half. I didn't know how to perform a jutsu or use chakra. I probably couldn't have even thrown a good punch if I'd wanted to. I couldn't do anything about protecting people in a war.

I needed more time, but there wasn't left. The universe certainly wasn't going to wait for my permission to implode. I knew that all too well.

While I was standing there frozen and possibly having a panic attack, I didn't notice that down the hall the voices had gone silent. I was so consumed with my own thoughts that the entire world around me had dissolved. Until suddenly: poof! Biwako and Hiruzen were right in front of me. I gaped up at them, not even able to form any excuses. Neither of them looked angry, thankfully. Hiruzen just kind of looked exhausted and aged in the dark lighting; although, Biwako did seem to be maybe a little frustrated with me.

"It's past your bed time," she pursed her lips.

"I-I..."

"How much did you hear?" Hiruzen followed up.

"We're going to war with Suna?" the words spilled out. Hiruzen let out an audible groan, and the lines around Biwako's mouth hardened.

"Come on," Biwako said, reaching down and scooping me up. We went into the kitchen and she set me on the table. "Were you looking for your book? Is that what had you out of bed?"

"I couldn't sleep," I nodded. "A-and then I got distracted by the seal on our door."

"It was to keep the sound out. Although, it doesn't look like it worked very well. Maybe next time we should seal our own door too" Hiruzen said dryly.

"Are we going to war with Suna?" I asked again. The panic in my gut was settling into a low boiling fear. I knew this was probably one of my only chances to get unfiltered answers from the two of them. The ruse was up after all. They couldn't get away with giving me a bullshit excuse about the village going through a phase.

"Yes, we probably are," Hiruzen nodded. "They've been running a lot of missions lately that have been hurting us. We... we think it was Suna ninja that killed your father."

"Kojirama Senju," I said. Hiruzen nodded.

"But war is going to hurt a lot of us? P-people are going to die?" I went on. Biwako reached forward and put her hand on my cheek. It was the softest, most comforting thing I'd ever seen her do. And oddly enough, it grounded me.

"War's not pretty Natsuki-chan," Biwako said. "But it's for the safety of the village. We think that if we don't go to Suna, a lot more people would die than if we did. If it means the village will be better off, than we must fight back. It's our job as ninja to do so."

"Our job as ninja," I breathed. This was the world I had been born into. It was going to become my entire life now, because I cared too much about my new family. If I didn't learn how to become a ninja, I'd be helpless in the face of a shit ton of bad, and I refused to be that useless. I was Natsuki Senju, after all. Heir to the Second Hokage's Legacy.

But at the same time, I was someone else too. I was still a sickly college kid from the States, who had loved getting lost in a good adventure book. Reading about blood and bruises was a lot easier than experiencing them for yourself. I looked at Hiruzen and Biwako again, feeling a sudden urge to tell them everything. They would be skeptical at first, but I know they'd take me seriously. I might be able to save everyone right now, with nothing but my voice. Intelligence was supposed to be everything right? I could win us this war before it even started.

Maybe.

And there it was. The fact of the matter was, the minute Hiruzen and Biwako knew the truth, it wouldn't exactly be the truth anymore. Every little thing would effect the future right? Telling Hiruzen and Biwako now could create a massive butterfly ripple that would change everything. It might help us fight Suna, but would it win us the bigger battle? The one against Obito and Madara? If I hoarded my knowledge, than maybe I could step in only when it mattered most. I could save the few instead of the many, in the interest of saving all, like the World War II scientists who hacked the Inigma code.

I swallowed, and thought of all the old reasons as well- of Danzo and Orochimaru. They hadn't disappeared overnight, nor were they going to in the near future. I wouldn't be safe outing myself while they were still in power here.

This was the selfish decision. Maybe one day I'd be able to look back and say it'd been the right one as well, but I was doing this so that I could be sure that my people were save. I didn't want to lose everything again. So instead of spilling the beans, I held it all inside, pushing all my fear and worry into a ball at the bottom of my stomach for me and nobody else to feel. I would become the best ninja I could, and I would save my family. They would live through all of this.

"Are you scared?" I asked them finally, because this was terrifying. I wasn't sure what I wanted to hear from them though. On one hand, it would validate my feelings if they said yes. On the other, what hope did the rest of us have if the Hokage was afraid?

"War is a scary thing," Hiruzen nodded thoughtfully. "I don't think it'd be normal to not be afraid. But one day you'll see that it's important to be a little afraid. Fear can keep you awake in a battle. As long as you don't let it take over, it can remind you just how much you love the people you're fighting for. I am more afraid of losing people I love, like you, than I am of any war."

Biwako set her hand on Hiruzen's shoulders, and I let his words wash over me.

"Ready to go back to bed?" Biwako asked. I nodded, and hopped off the counter. Biwako and Hiruzen escorted me back to my room, and I slipped back into bed without disturbing Asuma. I had a lot to think about still, but the uncertainty of it had disappeared. The war was coming now, whether I was ready or not. When I finally slipped off into sleep, my dreams were mottled with memories of black and white panels. None of it was concrete. It was just a blur of half formed thoughts sprinkled with sudden pangs of sadness or twinges of fear.

Nothing happened for two weeks after that night. Hiruzen disappeared again, holing himself up in his office on "Hokage business", while Biwako continued to pretend like everything was peachy. I didn't tell Asuma or Isamu, and neither of them showed any sign that they suspected a thing. It was like that night hadn't happened at all. Except that it had, and now I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. After a while, I decided that it might have been better being in the dark, because the waiting was maddening.

Then suddenly two things happened at once.

First, Nawaki paraded into our house beaming with pride. He had an announcement for us. "Natsuki-chan, check me out!" he grinned. Then out of his pocket, he pulled a headband with the Konoha leaf carved into the front.

"Aw you graduated!" Isamu said, sounding jealous. "They let my class take the graduation exam today too, but nobody passed."

"You're only eight, they don't let you graduate until you're twelve," Asuma informed Isamu. Except that wasn't right, because Nawaki had just turned eleven a few months ago. Half his class should've still been ten. It didn't take a genius to guess what might be motivating them to push up the graduation age though.

"They always break the rules for the best," Nawaki said. "You're looking at Konoha's new top genin!" Then he jabbed himself in the chest with his thumb, just to make sure we knew he was talking about himself.

I wanted to be happy for him really badly, but the sight of him tying a headband around his forehead made a knot form in my stomach. It meant that the gears were finally starting to turn. The past two years had been a lull of peace and calm. Nawaki was officially part of Konoha's army now though, and he would be part of the war effort. I couldn't smile about that.

Nawaki, of course, wasn't satisfied with my reaction to his headband. He had broken out of his superhero pose, and was frowning at me. I probably needed to get better at the whole acting-casual thing.

"Geez Natsuki-chan, you okay? You look like Tsunade-nee made you eat her Udon Noodles," Nawaki said.

"Yeah, I uh, stubbed my toe," I told him lamely. "I'm really happy for you Nawaki-nii. You're going to make a great ninja."

"You're sitting down," he muttered, squinting at me.

Before he had a chance to press me further though, the second thing happened. Without any warning, a black bird wearing a Konoha bandanna flew threw the front door that Nawaki had left hanging open and landed on our sofa.

"Ninja," it squawked at Nawaki. "The Hokage requests everyone's presence in front of Hokage Rock. Depart immediately."

"What? Are you talking to me?" Nawaki blinked. I was gaping too. It wasn't every day that you got to have a conversation with a bird.

Isamu was the one who kept his head. "What's the Hokage got to tell everyone?"

"War," it squawked again. "Depart immediately."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi AO3, I think it's probably about time I introduce myself. My (pen)name's Aule, and I've just created an account here after moving over from fanfiction.net. I decided that I really liked the format of this site, and wanted to give it a try. Currently I'm trying to update this story about once a week, but that probably won't last once the my next semester starts (hooray for winter break!). 
> 
> I also just got a tumblr as aulevala.tumblr.com, and I post there whenever I update this story. So if you'd like to receive updates there, feel free to follow me (shameless plug :P). 
> 
> Anywho, that's all I got. Enjoy!


	6. Diet Soda Society: Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arc Title and Chapter Quote from Diet Soda Society by The Maine

**Diet Soda Society**

_"The bloody unknown, my fear in essence"_

* * *

 

Everything changed when the fire nation attacked.

Wow, I never thought I'd be able to say that with a straight face, but I guess it was true now. The day that bird flew into our living room marked a permanent shift in my life. The Land of Fire had declared war on the Land of Wind, and my god, shit just hit the fan. It was like the entire world had been asleep for the past two years and had just suddenly woken up.

I think I'll remember that day for the rest of my life. We followed Nawaki to the Academy building after the bird left. Biwako was supposedly at the hospital picking up a shift for somebody, so none was there to protest when Isamu decided he wanted to go with Nawaki to see Hiruzen's official speech. And of course, if Isamu was going, Asuma and I were going to have to tag along as well. Otherwise he'd get into even more trouble for leaving us alone.

The moment we stepped into the streets, it was clear that the village had entered some sort of official state of emergency. There were random civilians in the street, all walking like confused sheep towards the town center. Meanwhile the roofs were alive. Ninja were pouring out of every crevice of the village, all bolting forward to report for duty. I even saw a few Anbu running in the bungled mix of people above us.

It occurred to me that I'd never actually seen any of our Black Ops members in person before. They made this entire situation feel that much more real. Konoha was turning literally every stone over for this war. No one was going to be left out.

Isamu and Nawaki noticed the Anbu on the roofs as well, and they didn't seem to be particularly comforted by the operatives' presence. After the two spotted the masked figures, they seemed to make some silent agreement that Asuma and I shouldn't have contact with the ground anymore. I wasn't going to complain though. I had a much better view of things from Nawaki's arms. Without the two of us walking, our pace picked up significantly as well. We were standing in front of the Academy building just fifteen minutes later.

The ninja were everywhere here. People were streaming off the rooftops; loitering in front of the gates; I even saw a few appearing out of thin air. Naturally, that meant it was a lot noisier here as well. The shinobi were all gossiping about the war like high schoolers.

"Another ambush", "Who'd they come after now?", "Are they okay?", "It's about time.", "Suna won't get away with this." Determination was bleeding in the air.

And despite everything, not a single person really seemed to be surprised. Concerned sure, but not surprised.

That's what bothered me the most. Isamu and Asuma had been completely blindsided by this. Hell, I would've been too if I hadn't overheard them talking the other night. Why were we the last ones to find out? You'd think that since we lived with the Hokage, we'd at least be up to date on all of our local news. Biwako must've been trying harder to shield us from all of this than I'd realized.

From the front of the building, we were directed towards the Academy yard. They had set up desks where secretary ninja seemed to be handing out duties to everyone. Nawaki was supposed to check in there to receive his assignment for the next few months. Of course, I didn't want him to. He was safe right now with me, but lord knows where the lady with the fire nation stamp would send him.

Luckily though, it wasn't something I was going to have to deal with just yet. Before we made it over to the desk, familiar faces spotted us.

"Hey, is that Nawaki-kun wearing that headband?" a boisterous voice called to us. We spun around to find a giant bear-man with locks whiter than mine bounding towards us. I smiled - Jiraiya was always good to me.

"Yeah! I got it this morning!" Nawaki said, puffing out his chest and letting Jiraiya admire his headband. Behind Jiraiya, Tsunade and Orochimaru seemed to be conversing about something. That is, until the noise their teammate distracted them. Tsunade's eyes zoomed in on me immediately of course.

"Oi, what're you three doing here," she demanded, pointing at us.

"Hi to you too Tsunade-nee," I sighed.

At the same time Asuma piped up with a real explanation: "The ninja bird flew by and told us there was a war."

"The sarcasm isn't funny," Tsunade glared at me. Though of course, you could probably argue that I'd inherited all my sarcasm straight from the Slug Queen herself. "And I don't care what any nin-bird said, you should be at home, where all the civilians belong. Nawaki, what were you thinking letting them come with you?"

"Uh, well they wanted to see what was happening too," Nawaki mumbled. "Hey, Nee-chan, didn't you see I'm a ninja now!" Tsunade rolled her eyes, looking like she was ready to start knocking some sense into her brother. I bet she already found out Nawaki was graduating today from some source or another.

"I'm sorry if we've overstepped Tsunade-senpai," Isamu jumped in with a respectful bow. "I can take Asuma and Natsuki home."

"But we haven't found Dad yet," Asuma grumbled.

"Aw, Tsunade, it's probably fine. The only thing they could get in the way of right now is paperwork," Jiraiya nodded, apparently taking pity on us. Tsunade didn't look convinced though. I guess I couldn't blame her. Judging from the hoard of shinobi gathered here, I bet Hiruzen was buried in work right now.

"Sarutobi-sensei will want them to see," Orochimaru strolled over. He seemed casually bored, like he always did. I hadn't even noticed it, but while we were bickering, he seemed to have nabbed an envelope from the assignment table. "And you might want to say any good byes as well. It looks like we'll be going with him."

"Going? Going where?" Asuma piped up confused. He had a stricken look on his face, like he might be pretty upset later if his dad was actually leaving. That wasn't going to be any good for me. Asuma was always a brat around Hiruzen, but it was only because he wanted attention. He wasn't okay with Hiruzen's persistent absence as things were. It could only get worse if the Hokage had to completely leave the village.

Tsunade frowned and snatched the envelope from Orochimaru. Her eyes scanned it for a minute before making eye contact with Jiraiya for a moment.

"Looks like it," she nodded quietly. Then she sighed. "Alright Nawaki, you get off this time. We're part of the primary ambush squad. So I guess we'll be heading out tonight."

"Great, well I'm going to go get my assignment. Because I'm a ninja now," he announced. He plopped me on the ground before slinking off towards the desk himself.

"Dad's leaving too?" Asuma repeated, louder this time.

"The Hokage will need to be close at hand to give orders," Orochimaru said serenely. "He probably won't be coming back for quite some time."

Asuma looked horrified

"Orochimaru," Tsunade sighed with a cutting look. The snake man just kind of shrugged, dropping it. He didn't seem to regret anything though.

"Best he hear the truth. Lies won't shield them for long now," Orochimaru said evenly.

I blinked, as that set it. "Wait, does this mean you're leaving today? Like right now?" I asked. I don't know what I expected, but I thought I'd have some more time to say my goodbyes. Or at least prepare myself for them. If we hadn't decided to follow Nawaki to the Academy grounds, would we have gotten any farewells at all?

"Eh, don't worry, it won't be for too too long," Tsunade smiled. "We may on the front lines for now, but I'm also the best medical ninja the village has got. They'll have us rotating all over the place before long."

"They'll be worried that the hospital will fall apart without her," Jiraiya winked at me.

"Flattery will get you nowhere," Tsunade glared at him. Nevertheless, she scooped me up in her arms and enveloped me in a big hug. "You'll be good for Biwako-san while we're gone?"

"I'm always good for her," I said. "Just sometimes Asuma get's me in trouble for things that are his fault."

"Hey!" Asuma protested, sounding kind of affronted. I stuck my tongue out at him. Better he be bickering with me than moping about his father.

"Uh-huh," Tsunade rolled her eyes. Then she turned towards Isamu. "Take care of her while I'm gone, kiddo."

"I will," Isamu smiled. She went to over to say goodbye to Nawaki after that, and I watched from afar as he showed her his envelope and a flash of worry flew over Tsunade's face. It was only for a second, but I knew, Nawaki must've actually gotten an assignment. My stomach knotted.

He doesn't have her necklace yet, I reminded myself.

When he came back over, he flashed his envelope in front of me. "Can you read it Natsuki-chan?" he asked.

"Third Cohort Reinforcement Squad?" I read aloud. "What's that mean?"

"They're gonna assign me a sensei and genin teammates like they usually do, and we're going to stay here in the village training until the third cohort calls for reinforcements. Then we'll get to go out and fight!" Nawaki said. "I don't see why I can't go help now, like everyone else, but it's okay I guess. I'm going to be super strong by the time they need me!"

"That's great Nawaki-nii," I smiled. That time I actually meant it. I guess we were going to have a little bit more time.

We went and said goodbye to Hiruzen after that, before being handed off to Biwako again. The next morning, I woke up and half the people who had been in my life for the past few years were gone. Even Biwako, who hadn't left the village, wasn't around half the time anymore because of increased needs at the hospital. Asuma and I were suddenly on our own for a good bit of the day.

That year, I started to really see the difference between the ninja world and my old one. Before now, I didn't know anyone would've left two three year olds home alone for even an hour. Now though, it was almost like our own personal duty of war to look after ourselves. "You two have got to take on a lot more responsibility now that your father's gone off," Biwako had said. "It's your duty to the village to do everything you can to help out, even if you're not ninja yet."

That was another interesting observation too- there seemed to always be a lot of talk about duty around here. I guess it made sense when you took one look at Isamu. All that kid ever did was his duty. Whether he was helping out his family, the village, or even just a stranger on the street, he knew how to make his mother proud. Naturally, he carried the burden of war time like a champ. Since Biwako was going back to work at the hospital full time now, Isamu suddenly was cooking dinner and supervising our nightly reading lessons.

Months past and Isamu never once complained or slacked off. I've got to say, I admired him quite a bit for it. When I was a kid, the first time around, my mother would have to hound me for hours just to get me to clean up my own mess. Isamu meanwhile did things just to be helpful. It didn't matter if he was doing his laundrey, mopping the floor up after Asuma spilled soup everywhere, or even sweeping the neighbor's walk. He always was doing something.

Then on top of becoming our own personal babysitter and maid, Isamu also seemed to be taking on a ton of Academy work. As you'd expect, he'd always been a good student, but he seemed to be doing more now. If Isamu wasn't taking care of us, he was doing homework. Sometimes, he would be doing both at the same time.

"Isamu, you're working really hard, huh," I commented one evening when I caught him staying up past bed time to practice the transformation jutsu. Let me tell you, it's kind of disorienting when you walk into your living room to find an Academy professor instead of your older brother.

"Well yeah," he shrugged. "I've got to graduate from the Academy as soon as possible now that the war's started. I want to help out Dad."

"Mm," I nodded, as he transformed into one of his friends this time.

"You'll understand better when you're in the Academy," he went on. "You don't have that much longer to wait you know. I overheard Mom talking about how they want to enlist you a year early so that you'll be in the same class as Asuma."

"Really? They'll take four year olds?" I blinked.

"Dad's the Hokage. They'll take anyone if he says so," Isamu said.

That was news to me. See, in Konoha, they started the school year in January on the first day of the new year. Asuma's birthday was in October, which meant he'd be turning five just in time for the school year to start. Meanwhile, my birthday was in March, which meant I was going to miss the cut off by a hair. If Isamu was right, however, that meant I only had another year and a half to go.

It was music to my ears.

For the next few months, that was what fueled me. When I heard rumors of the awful things happening on the battle front, I would think -it's fine, less than a year and a half and I'll start training. Less than a year and a half and I'll be working to help. It was still hard of course, but I was managing. I think all the worrying had almost helped to prepare me honestly. Now that the war was concrete and real, I actually felt like I had more of a grasp on my life than before.

It also helped that Tsunade hadn't been kidding about how short her first war mission would be. I learned pretty quickly that she was apparently a huge asset in Konoha's war effort. You don't realize just how important she was to the Second Shinobi War effort when you read the manga. But I want you to consider for a moment, that Tsunade was a medical ninja in an era before it was mandatory to have a medical ninja in the field. Frankly, I think she was may have been the only true combat medic that we had in the entire village. That meant that they had her bouncing around all over the place of course, along with Jiraiya and Orochimaru- who honestly seemed to almost be her two ridiculously powerful body guards.

One minute she was on the front lines, saving as many lives as possible, the next she was going on stealth missions, and then the next she'd be back in the village checking up on the hospital. While Hiruzen only visited home once or twice during beginning of the war, I probably saw Tsunade at least once a month.

But of course, you probably know where I'm going with this.

It was only a matter of time before Nawaki got called out onto the field. I had gotten used to having him around, but I knew that he was going to have to leave eventually. There was news coming in all the time now about people falling in battle. The sight of my neighbors walking around in black looking sad, no longer seemed out of place in the village. I was lucky because most of my loved ones happened to be S-class shinobi, but with every strangers death, Nawaki's deployment came closer.

He was listed right now under a reinforcement clause. Sooner or later, the third cohort was going to need him.

Of all the days for it to happen- Nawaki got called into battle on his birthday.

We had been out celebrating. Nawaki took me to the park. It was a small outing with just the two of us, and so I got to have my cousin all to myself. Without Asuma in charge, I spent most of the morning asking Nawaki all about his genin training, instead of playing games. He was more than happy to oblige, and even showed me some of the new jutsu he was learning.

If you asked me, he was coming along great. He could already walk up trees and stand upside down just by using the chakra in his feet. Plus he had started learning some of the earth jutsu. He was far from mastering anything, but when he clasped his hands together, he could make the ground shook a bit. I thought that all of it was splendid. Ninja tended against using their jutsu casually around the village, and so despite all the shinobi I lived with, I hadn't actually seen many of their super powers in person. It was incredible to finally see someone defying the laws of physics in person.

"Ung, I still can't actually make it do anything more than that," Nawaki sighed, looking disappointed. I guess this basic ninjutsu was less impressive to people who weren't carrying all the reincarnation baggage.

"That was amazing! I've never seen anybody who can make the whole ground shake," I gushed excitedly despite him. "What're you gonna call it?"

"Wha-? It's not a real jutsu yet," he muttered.

"Why not? I think you should call it Earthquake no Jutsu, You can use it to uh, make the bad guys fall over. Or set off traps before you hit them," I said. Maybe I was just getting over excited, but honestly, who wouldn't think this was cool? Nawaki could literally make the ground rumble with just his energy! Hell yeah, I was going to geek out about it.

"Well, maybe if I make it shake a little more yeah," Nawaki said thoughtfully. He spent the next thirty minutes trying to get some significant power behind his earth jutsu. I'm happy to report that eventually he did manage to knock me over in the end. I think he was pretty pleased about it too; although, I doubt he'd have been able to bother a fully grown ninja just yet.

It was about that time that there was a quiet popping noise, and Tsunade suddenly appeared right behind Nawaki. "Boo," she said quietly, right in his ear.

Nawaki jumped right out of his skin, completely caught off guard, and Tsunade proceeded to cackle at him. "Happy birthday," she smiled widely.

"Tsunade!" Nawaki huffed, taking a moment to his breath. He got over the shock soon enough though, and enveloped her in a big hug. I was right behind him, thrilled to see my older cousin back in the village again.

"I thought you weren't supposed to be back for a while," I said, drinking in our little reunion. Tsunade looked well, for someone who must've just gotten back from the battle field. She must've stopped by her house on the way over here, because she had changed out of her flak jacket into a regular white shirt and red shorts. I didn't see a scratch on her actually.

"We completed our last mission ahead of schedule," Tsunade explained with a shrug. "You didn't think I was going to miss my brother's birthday did you?"

"I'm not a kid anymore, nee-chan. You don't have to still be here to celebrate my birthday every year," Nawaki crossed his arms.

"Yeah right, you still look like a kid to me," Tsunade snorted. "But anyways, I hope I'm not disrupting your day at the park Natsuki-chan. I wanted to catch you two now so I could give Nawaki his birthday present."

"Present?" Nawaki eyed her curiously.

She nodded, pulling a box out from behind her back. I peered over at it, suddenly anxious, while Nawaki took it from his sister.

"Wanna help me open it Natsuki?" he asked me. I feigned excitement as best I could and pulled at the ribbon that was tied decoratively on top. Then I slipped off the lid to reveal a shining blue crystal necklace. Nawaki practically squealed when he saw it, and immediately launched himself at Tsunade.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" he said excitedly. I blinked at it, feeling the dread build up in my stomach immediately.

"You like it? I thought it'd suit you better than me. You know what it is right?" Tsunade was blushing a little at her brother's exuberant reaction.

"Yeah it's Grandpa's necklace," he nodded. "It's perfect! I'm going to wear it and protect the village, just like he did."

My eyes were starting to itch, and my throat felt thick.

"I'm going to be just like him. One day, I'll even be the best Hokage ever!" Nawaki finished.

"Well you've got to work hard to get there okay? Wear that necklace with pride, and live up to it," Tsunade smiled at him.

"I will!"

"Oh and I've got another present too. Take off your headband," she instructed. When he did so, she leaned forward and kissed him in the spot where the leaf symbol usually rested. It was a soft moment. Tsunade rarely ever let us see this tender side of her. Usually it was hidden behind a lot of sarcasm, but I guess there was just something special about today.

Nawaki grinned proudly as he pulled the necklace over his head. He was wearing both of his sisters presents with quite a bit of pride.

"Hey Natsuki-chan, are you okay?" Tsunade had looked over at me and seemed to have noticed that I wasn't doing so hot. I looked up at her, fumbling for some rational thing to say. There wasn't a good reason for me to be upset right now. Plus, I knew that if I tried to speak, I was just going to start crying. This wasn't good.

Nawaki frowned, trotted over, and scooped me up in his arms. Having him closer was both bad and good at the same time. "Come on Nat," he said carefully. "Did something scare you?"

Before they could coax a response out of me though, they were distracted. A girl with red paint on her cheeks, and a puppy in her hood was running towards us from down the road shouting Nawaki's name at the top of her lungs.

"Nawaki-kun!" she gasped when she caught up to us. "Sensei needs to see you right now. We're being deployed."

"Right now?" Nawaki said, looking torn.

"Yeah, um. Sorry if I'm interrupting your birthday party," she said looking at Tsunade and I.

"It's okay! If they need us to fight, then we've got to help them out as much as possible," Nawaki nodded. He turned to us. "Looks like I've got too go."

"Be careful please," I squeaked quietly.

"I've got my necklace now. There's no way they're gonna be able to stop me!" He gave me a thumbs up too, but there wasn't a thing he was going to be able to say that would make me feel better.

I watched him disappear down the road with Tsunade holding my hand, and then the waiting began.

Tsunade spent the rest of the day with me in Nawaki's wake. We went through all the motions- hanging out in the park, going to get a treat afterwards, she even took me to the book store. My heart wasn't in any of it though. I felt like a shell of my normal self. Every time Tsunade tried to get me smiling, I just couldn't do it. At least I could tell her the truth now though.

"Alright squirt. I give up. What's wrong?" she asked.

"I'm worried about Nawaki-nii," I said. She sighed.

"It must be hard being stuck in the village with all of us gone, huh?" she said, poking my stomach. "But Nawaki is a genin now. He's going to help protect the village like the rest of us. Try not to think about it too much. Nawaki might look like a twerp right now, but they're sending him out with some really strong shinobi. They'll keep him safe."

"Yeah? Shinobi like who?" I asked, feeling a little bitter.

"Well, do you know who the commander of the third cohort is?"

I shook my head.

"It's a man named Sakumo Hatake. They call him the White Fang. He'll be watching Nawaki's back," Tsunade smiled.

Hatake... He was Kakashi's father. That calmed me down a little bit. It was good to know that Nawaki was working under someone so famous and with such good values. Still, that didn't mean he was going to be okay.

The rest of the day passed slowly. Then when I went to bed that night, I didn't get a wink of sleep. I spent the following morning staring blankly at the pages of my latest book. Asuma and Isamu probably noticed, but I was too anxious to care.

The news finally came a little bit after lunch. Biwako came home from the hospital early, looking unusually grim. When she stepped into the house the boys quieted, and turned to her confused. I knew before she even opened her mouth what she was there for.

"Natsuki-chan," she said softly. "It's Nawaki."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Well this chapter took longer than expected to write. I had some trouble with the middle parts, and honestly, I'm still not entirely happy with it. I think that's just sort of part of the territory right now though (writing a 3 year old whose internally 20 is a lot harder than expected). It'll get easier once Natsuki's a little older.
> 
> Anyways, just so you know updates are definitely going to be coming slower now. School has started back up, and I am going to be crushed under the weight of a LOT of work soon. My goal is going to be an update every 2-3 weeks from now on. But that'll vary based on my day to day work load.
> 
> Until Next Time!


	7. Diet Soda Society: Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arc Title and Chapter Quote from song Diet Soda Society by The Maine

**Diet Soda Society**

_"Oblivion is where I'm headed"_

* * *

 

Nawaki's is dead, the thought reeled around in my head. He's dead and he's not coming back.

After three years of mending myself from the wounds my past life had left behind, I suddenly felt broken again. I had spent so much time rebuilding everything from scratch, forming new bonds, learning to love new people, and in the blink of an eye, one of them was just gone. In a lot of ways this sort of loss was new to me. I was familiar with the harrowing grief, but this was the first time I had to deal with the real after effects of it. I'd never had to restructure my existing life around someone's absence.

I felt like things weren't ever going to be the same again, like a chunk of my happiness had been lost into the abyss, gone forever. I had tried so hard to convince myself this wasn't going to happen. But really, what had I done to stop it? Nothing. I had done nothing at all.

That was almost worse than the grief. I felt horribly guilty. Part of me couldn't help wondering if Nawaki would've been alive if I had just talked to someone. Maybe if Hiruzen had known, he would've reassigned Nawaki to a different squadron. Maybe if Tsunade had known she wouldn't have given him that necklace. Maybe if Nawaki himself had been told, he would've been able to avoid whatever had gotten him. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Of course, telling anyone anything was now completely out of the question. Then everyone would know that I let Nawaki die, and that thought was unacceptable. As awful as I felt, I think it might've completely destroyed me to have to bear all of their blame. I couldn't imagine a world where Tsunade wouldn't hate me for allowing Nawaki to march to his death.

I didn't want her to hate me.

You should've seen her when the news came back to the village. I wasn't there when Orochimaru and Jiraiya had told her, but I saw her at the funeral two days later. If grief had ever been personified as a human being, it would've been Tsunade on that day. It was like someone had poked a hole in her, and all the sarcasm and happiness had bled out. She looked like a deflated shell of her normal self, and her devastation only made me feel worse about everything.

I let this happen, I thought upon seeing her. This is my fault. A sudden irrational urge to leave washed over me immediately. It was hard to imagine how I could possibly face her, knowing my own guilt. Yet, I knew that Tsunade had no way of knowing how terrible I was. Regardless of ho I felt, I was still the only other Senju left on this planet that could stand beside her and understand her pain. I didn't deserve the chance to fall apart when she was feeling so alone. Not after the damage I'd already done.

Breaking away from Biwako, Asuma, and Isamu, I toddled over to my last remaining relative and tugged on her black pant leg.

"Tsunade-nee?" I said softly. When she looked down at me, it almost felt like she wasn't seeing anything at all. Nevertheless, that didn't stop her from leaning down and picking me up off the ground. Her grip was strong, despite her empty gaze. It was my only signal that perhaps Tsunade would get through this. With that in mind, I wrapped my arms around her neck in my best attempt to hug all the pain away.

"He was protecting us, just like he always wanted to," I said quietly to her.

"Yeah kiddo, I guess he was," she breathed back, her voice cracking. Tsunade's teammates were standing on either side of her, and Jiraiya stepped a little closer to put his arm around Tsunade's shoulders as a few tears started to trickle down her cheeks. I was happy that he was there. No matter what Tsunade might've told you, Jiraiya meant a world and a half to her. He was the friend she could always trust to take her side.

I'm sure Tsunade was probably also glad Orochimaru was there as well, though I couldn't say I felt the same. He was watching her with a look of conflicted pity on his face. It was hard to tell if he didn't like seeing Tsunade's grief, or whether he just didn't appreciate the public display of sadness at all. The former option was ideal I guess. If he actually felt bad for her, that had to mean he wasn't a complete psychopath. Either way though, I couldn't bring myself to appreciate his presence so close to Nawaki's tombstone.

In the end though, none of the three of us who surrounded Tsunade were able to give her the real comfort she needed. As the service came to an end, and we had all cried our fill, Biwako walked over to to us, looking demure in the grey light of the evening. I was resting my head on Tsunade's shoulder, almost half asleep. The funeral had been draining, and my body was still too little to last very long at these sorts of things.

"It was a beautiful service Tsunade-chan," she said, bowing slightly in greeting.

"Thank you," Tsunade echoed the niceties back. She didn't seem to have the energy to engage Biwako any further however. In the end, Jiraiya was the one to pick up the conversation for her.

"It's always good to see you Biwako-san," he said with a small smile. "I'm sure Nawaki would've been happy to see you here today.

"Mm, yes thank you," Biwako hummed in response. I looked over at my surrogate mother with an empty curiosity. I knew almost instinctively that she had come over for more than just a dutiful check up. Sure, she did love her formalities, but Biwako had a familiar look in her eye. It was the same one she wore before manipulating Asuma.

"Well, I suppose I will be heading back to the hospital then," Biwako said aloud, almost as if she wasn't talking to anyone in particular. "Perhaps I will see you there sometime in the next few days Tsunade-chan."

"The hospital?" Tsunade stirred.

"Yes, I'm sorry. I assumed that was why you were back in the village. For the restructure meetings. The Hokage-sama is returning for them after all. I had thought your presence there would be expected," Biwako went on.

"Yeah, the meetings to talk about the war," she said bitterly. She lifted her free hand to the bridge of her nose as her mouth twisted. "Isn't there ever any break from this? I've been running all over the country for months now. I wasted so much time I could've spent with him. Is there even a point to all this fighting and death?"

It had come out of her suddenly, like a spark beneath all the emptiness. I could see the anger now. Was she blaming the village for this? I raised my head to look at her alarmed.

"There will be a break when this is over," Biwako said, with a harshness that matched Tsunade's tone exactly. "That's the way of things. If you want to grieve that's fine, but channel it into a place that your brother would've been proud of. If you are tired of death, go do something to stop it."

Tsunade blinked at Biwako, half stunned, before settling quietly back into herself. When I looked at her again, she seemed more of a person. It was remarkable actually. Biwako never ceased to surprise me. I swear in another life, that woman must've been a magician.

"Right, Thank you Biwako-san. Maybe I will see you at the restructure meeting," Tsunade said slowly. Then she gently handed me back over to Biwako, her hand lingering on my back for a moment.

Biwako smiled. "Good, I look forward to hearing your input there."

I watched Tsunade fade into the distance as Biwako went to go round up the boys and take us home. We were fifteen minutes off when the entirety of that conversation processed. Stiffening in Biwako's arms, I twisted so I could get a good look at her face.

"Did you say that Hiruzen-san was coming home this week?" I blurted out. Isamu spluttered, and Asuma stopped completely dead in his tracks. Of course, Biwako didn't seem to miss a beat.

"He'll be back any time now," she nodded. "Who knows, he might even be back for dinner tonight."

I don't know where Biwako got her information from, but of course, she was right. At exactly 6:30, Hiruzen poked his head through the front door, looking pretty weary. His clothes were tattered, his arms were scuffed, and I swear the lines on his face had gotten deeper. The man seemed to have aged a solid five years since he'd left mere months ago. I'm sure that behind me, Biwako was scrutinizing him with a lot of concern; however, I couldn't find it in me to care. He was back and in one piece. That was all that mattered.

With a delighted shriek, Asuma and I launched ourselves at him and Isamu was close behind. I don't think any of us had realized just how much we had missed him until Hiruzen was back within our grasp. Surprisingly though, Asuma was the most emotional about our little reunion. In the midst of all the hugging, I didn't even realize he had started to cry until Hiruzen said something.

"Hm Asuma-kun, it wasn't that long was it?" he said, looking a little guilty as his toddler buried himself in Hiruzen's shoulder.

Asuma hiccuped. "Na-nawaki-k-kun didn't come home. I-I..." he stuttered half hysterical. My stomach twisted, while Hiruzen hugged Asuma a little tighter.

"Dad's the Hokage," Isamu said softly. "That means he's the strongest in the village. Of course he was going to come home Asuma-kun."

But that wasn't right exactly. Because Hiruzen was the Hokage, I'd say he was actually at more risk on the battle field. After all, wasn't that how Tobirama had gone? Asuma had every right to be scared. I probably would've been worried sick too if I hadn't already read all the spoilers. In a few ways, Nawaki's death was like a checkpoint for me. I didn't have to worry about anyone else in my family dying for a good ten years now, at the very least. If nothing else, that was something to be darkly optimistic about.

The tears subsided after a little bit, and we were able to settle into a nice family dinner. It was almost like it had used to be, ignoring all the emotional baggage that had gathered in this house over the past few months. Biwako cooked a special fish dinner, Asuma refused to eat any of it, and Isamu spent half the night trying to fill Hiruzen in on every single moment that he missed.

I soaked in the familiarity of it all like a sponge. I guess despite the shit show that was happening outside our village gate, things hadn't really changed that much. My family was damaged, sure. But looking at them all now, they didn't seem so different. It made me feel better. Tsunade was going to be okay, and I guess I would be okay too. I would never forget Nawaki, but I couldn't allow myself to wallow in his loss forever.

There were still other people here that I could save.

The following morning, I woke up to the sun shining through my window. I still felt a little empty- that hole might never completely heal- but the better half of me felt a bit lighter. It was almost like the release you feel after having a good cry. Despite the fact that nothing was really discernibly different in the universe, my heart felt like perhaps I could start to move on.

Unfortunately, I think my family was the only one who was starting to cope well with our war losses. Tsunade and I were both rebounding like champs. Both of us had individually decided to live our lives for Nawaki, instead of wasting them over him, but the rest of the village seemed to have fallen underneath a sort of stupor. People weren't so brazen when the war came up in conversation anymore. In fact, I'd even go as far to say that they were complaining about it.

It started with the civilians. The war was effecting a lot of them pretty severely these days. Trade in and out of Konoha had slowed almost to a complete halt, and it was getting difficult for them to maintain their businesses. A lot of families were lending their children to the village's on-hand military staff to do secretary work just so they could get meager labor wages. They were sick of the economic hardships that the war was causing them. When they started to stir, I don't think anybody was all that surprised.

Next came the shinobi. The state of the economy didn't really matter much to all the soldiers we were sending into enemy territory. They didn't really need much money when the military was providing them with rations, weaponry, and medical attention in the field. The problem came as the war began to progress. I've mentioned before that funerals were becoming an almost daily village activity. It was only a matter of time before our losses started to become really significant. By the time Nawaki died, there wasn't a clan in the village that had been left unscathed. Everyone had lost someone, and people were starting to fear loosing those they had left.

The mood of the village was shifting. People were starting to ask for peace.

No matter what the village wanted, however Hiruzen's political problems were only growing bigger. There was a reason that Konoha needed to have a war restructure meeting. As the war's death toll rose, the army couldn't continue to function in it's original state. Their previous strategies had assumed a certain number of shinobi could be placed in all the different cohorts, but we weren't running a sustainable operation anymore. What's more, it wasn't just a battle between Suna and Konoha anymore. Iwa had joined the fray, and Ame was starting to act up because we were encroaching on their territory. No matter what the village wanted, we couldn't afford to display any signs of weakness with so many power players in the field.

My information was always a little spotty, since Isamu's Academy gossip was often my best source of news. Yet according to our resident nine year olds, our situation out in the field was getting worse with every passing day. They needed to change tactics, and they needed to change them soon. That was what the restructure meetings were really for. Hiruzen wanted to hear everyone's input about the most suitable strategic retaliation move.

Because of all this war mayhem, the village was extra lively for the following few weeks. Despite the fact that Hiruzen was home, he rarely was able to spare a few moments to spend time with his family. As always, Asuma wasn't terribly happy about this, but we managed. Actually, for the first time ever he seemed to be coping with Hiruzen's absence in a little bit more mature manner.

Maybe it was all the high ranking ninja that were suddenly in the streets again that motivated him, or maybe it was just some newfound wisdom he'd gained after his fourth birthday- I hear aging does wonders for your world perspective. Anyways, point is, some time in late-November, exactly a year after the war had began, Asuma had some sort of revelation.

We were sitting in the living room around a pile of toys, like we usually did with our down time. It was one of those days when we had been left to fend for ourselves. Biwako was at the hospital, Hiruzen at the war meetings, and Isamu had school for another few hours. These were dull times for me, as I basically had to reduce myself to be Asuma's own personal playtime babysitter. Still, I guess it wasn't so bad. I'd learned since Nawaki that I shouldn't take my time with my family for granted.

"Nat?" Asuma said suddenly, putting down his toy kunai.

"Yeah?" I responded.

"Do you think that maybe we shouldn't play so many games anymore?" he asked, frowning.

I blinked at him. "What are we going to do if we're not playing games? Read?" I asked.

"No, um. I saw another kid running in the park the other day when Isamu took me to get groceries. He looked like he was training," Asuma explained.

"We're not in the Academy yet," I said slowly. "What would we do?"

"Well, he was just running. So we could run, and do push ups and sit ups. Then when we start at the Academy next year, we'll be the best in class 'cause we'll have been practicing," he reasoned. I thought about this for a moment before nodding. It seemed like a good enough idea to me. After all, wasn't I the one complaining about how our time at the Academy couldn't start soon enough? Why did I need to wait until we were enrolled to start training to become a ninja. Today was just as good as any other to start

So I snuck into Isamu's room to steal an old Academy text book, and we headed out to the back yard. The Sarutobi clan didn't have that much real estate in Konoha, but their lands were a lot closer than the park. More importantly though, we wouldn't get in trouble for running around so close to the house. Meanwhile, if we went to the park without Isamu, Biwako might've killed us. We spent the next few hours running through different exercises. The two of us probably looked a little ridiculous jogging around on our tiny legs, but none of Asuma's cousins interrupted us when they passed by. I think a few of the older relatives might've even looked at us in vague approval.

I found out pretty quickly that a proper Academy student work out was actually very rigorous. I could barely loop around the yard three times before I started running out of breath, and my little limbs quivered when I tried to do the strength training. Asuma didn't have half the trouble that I did with any of the exercises. He could lap me in running, double my push up count, plank with me on his back, and still have energy to spare. The logical part of me knew it was probably just the age gap- five months, when you're only four years old, was a long time. Plus on top of that, Asuma was big even compared to other kids his age. My less reasonable half, however, couldn't help feeling a little frustrated though. I'd been ahead of the curve in every other thing I attempted, I guess I wasn't used to struggling like this.

Asuma was pretty smug about my struggles, the little brat. He made a point to show off whenever I thought I might be getting close to him.

Anyways, once we started making our work outs a regular activity, I did start to improve. For weeks, my body felt like it was in a permanent state of soreness, until suddenly it wasn't. Every day, I forced myself to run five steps farther, to do an extra push up or two, and before long I found I could force myself to get through the whole exercise, exactly as it was in Isamu's text book. When Asuma and I had competitions, he still always won, but I was catching up, albeit kind of slowly.

During this time, another kind-of important thing happened, though it didn't seem to have much of an effect on my life. See, in the wake of Nawaki's death, Tsunade threw herself into the village politics. Every day I heard rumors about how she was arguing with people left and right about medical ninja training. Isamu told me that his sources were speaking pretty highly of her actually- people respected her vehement attempt to reduce loss of life in the field. Of course, with her stirring up the pot so much in these meetings, it was only a matter of time before she met Dan Kato in the crowd. I don't know the exact day that it happened- I think Tsunade didn't want to bother me with boyfriends until she was sure that they were going to be serious. Nevertheless, by the time that Spring was starting to bloom, Tsunade had regained a certain air of happiness about her that could only have one source.

Knowing that Dan was suddenly in Tsunade's life made the feelings of guilt over Nawaki resurge. I knew that if there wasn't anything I could do for Nawaki, than Dan wouldn't be any different. Tsunade was going to be crushed again, and I couldn't stop it. Part of me was actually quite grateful that Tsunade was keeping Dan in a separate part of her life. If I never got to meet him, I wouldn't have anybody to grieve over. Maybe that made me a bad person. Yet I already had so many people I wanted to save, I didn't want to make the burden any bigger.

Things were bad enough as they were.

The universe seemed to actually hear me this time, because when June rolled around, Tsunade, Jiraiya, and Orochimaru were deployed again. Hiruzen told me that they would be gone for a while this time. Suna and Konoha's war had been ravaging Amegakure's lands for quite some time, and to everyone's surprise, the locals had started to fight back now. We needed to send out our full strength if we had any hope of staving off a new enemy, and Hiruzen's students had already started to gain quite the name amongst the elemental nations for their battle prowess.

I could guess what would happen to them in Ame's country from here on out. It was probably about time that Hanzo the Salamander dubbed them the three Sannin, and Jiraiya was due to pick up a few students of his own soon. This was a good sign, I suppose. Jiraiya wouldn't plan to abandon Konoha if they were still in the middle of a war.

Things must be coming close to an end, or at least I that's what I hoped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Whoo, another weekly update! This chapter was brought to you by Professors who read the syllabus for the entire first week of class. Meaning that I was able to swing one last quick update before school really does start up again. This time I swear, I probably won't be able to churn out the next update so quickly.
> 
> The good news though, is that I'm going to send her to the Academy either in the next chapter or the one after, so we're finally moving out of the baby phase and into the kid-ninja phase.
> 
> Until next time!


	8. Diet Soda Society: Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arc Title and Chapter Quote from song Diet Soda Society by The Maine

**Diet Soda Society**

_" _This neurotic head makes me believe danger is omnipresent"__

* * *

 

"Nat! Nat! Wake up!" Asuma's loud voice interrupted my sleep.

"Mm," I mumbled, as I sat up groggily. "Wha-"

"We've got our Academy Examinations! Wake up!" he shook me again.

I bolted upright like someone had just flicked my "on" switch. The Examinations were today! How in the world had I fallen asleep last night? I'd been waiting for this day for over four years now, and it was finally here! Today I was going to take my first step towards becoming a ninja. At least, hopefully it was.

There was still one lone wildcard that could prevent me from being enrolled: the Academy Entrance Exam. I would have to pass before I could jump to all the cool ninja voodoo. As you can imagine, I was rather nervous about the whole thing, but of course my results were completely beyond my power. See, the Entrance Exam probably isn't what you think it is. When I had first heard about it, I'd assumed that they were putting kids through some sort of skills test.

In reality, the "Entrance Examination" was really more of a medical check up- a sort of special ninja physical. They took prospective students and they checked their eye sight, their reflexes, their blood work, and their chakra capacity. If a student wasn't up to snuff in any of these categories, they would be sent home and told to either give up or to try again next year. Of course, performing poorly in one of those categories wouldn't automatically disqualify a kid from becoming a ninja. Often times, after a kid failed, they might be invited back under special circumstances. One of Isamu's best friends, a kid named Tonbo, was actually completely blind in both eyes. He was allowed to continue with his ninja education, however, because he'd found himself a special teacher who was instructing him in elite sensing techniques. Who needs eyes when you can circumvent sight with ninja bullshit?

Anyhow, while Tonbo's story was certainly inspirational, I couldn't help but dread being in his situation. Every fiber in my being did not want to fail this medical examination. People kept telling me that I had nothing to worry about because I came from good genes, but I'd always been a little out of the ordinary. I already knew that my mind wasn't quite right for my little four year old body. Was it that crazy to think that maybe my chakra system or blood work had been effected by the reincarnation too?

My stomach was half in knots thinking about what surprises the morning might be saving for me. But laying in bed wasn't going to solve anything.

"I'll be ready in ten seconds Asuma-kun," I said, shooing him away from my bed so that I could get dressed.

"We're gonna be ninja Nat!" he grinned. Then he spun around and ran out towards the kitchen.

Eager to follow him, I rushed through my morning routine. I threw on a plain black t-shirt and a pair of maroon pants, whirled into the bathroom to brush my teeth, and pulled my unruly spiky bedhead into a messy ponytail. I looked a little messy when all was said and done, but I think I made it into the kitchen in fifteen minutes flat. It was probably a new personal record.

"That was fast," Biwako eyed me critically from the table when I trotted over to take a seat. She had taken the morning off work for our first day of school, so of course all three of us were being scrutinized extra carefully this morning. I suppose we'd all grown a little lax with Biwako gone so much lately. We weren't as used to her hawkish gaze primping our every move as we once were.

"I laid all my clothes out last night so I wouldn't waste any time," I told her with a smile.

"Well don't rush through your breakfast too, it'll upset your stomach for your exam," Biwako said, handing me a bowl of rice. I made eye contact with Asuma. He seemed just as impatient as I was to get out the door; although, he seemed to have already resigned himself to Biwako's will. If she wanted us to eat slowly, then that's what we were going to have to do. If I'd learned anything these past few years, it was that Biwako always got what she wanted.

Interestingly enough, while Asuma and I were chomping at the bit to get out the door, Isamu seemed to be dragging his feet a little extra today. It could've been the morning lighting, but he seemed a little paler than usual. I don't think he was paying any attention to our breakfast chatter either. I wondered vaguely if he was nervous for his own exam today. See, since the Academy was taking in another batch of fresh students, they would be administering the graduation test as well. I think Isamu intended on passing and becoming a genin today.

Between the three of us, dinner was either going to be a big celebration or horribly awkward.

Thankfully, breakfast did finish up in short order, after Asuma and I both showed Biwako our empty bowls. We were just about ready to run out the door when Biwako picked something up from behind the counter.

"Natsuki-chan, I've got a present for you before we go. Tsunade gave it to me in case she hadn't returned by the time you started school," Biwako said.

"Present?" I blinked, feeling a pang of apprehension. Tsunade didn't have a good track record with gifts. They tended to curse people with so much bad luck that they died. The good news was that the box Biwako handed me was too big to possibly contain that stupid necklace. Hopefully that meant my gift wasn't such a bad omen.

"Can I help you unwrap it?" Asuma asked, completely oblivious to my hesitation.

Together, we tore at the wrapping to reveal a box with the logo from Tsunade's favorite clothing store painted on top. Inside, I found a simple cream haoiri jacket with red trim. It was pretty small, as far as haoiri went, with short sleeves and a cropped torso that only fell down to my waist. You could tell immediately that it had been fitted to be worn by a ninja. A typical haoiri had a lot of extra fabric in them, but the small cut of this one allowed me to maneuver around without it getting in the way. Upon further inspection, I also found the Senju crest embroidered just above the hem of the short sleeve. Seeing it sent a surge of irrational pride through me. I'd never really felt much like a true Senju before. I'd never known my parents, wasn't particularly proud of all of Tobirama's legislation, and I probably would never learn any of our clan jutsu. That crest though, felt meaningful to me in that moment. It was a symbol of Tsunade and Nawaki. I knew that when I wore it, I'd feel like maybe they were both with me.

Without any further hesitation, I pulled it on over my shoulders and spun around so that my family could see.

"Now you look like a proper Senju," Biwako nodded.

"I'll have to thank Tsunade-nee when she get's home," I blushed.

"How come we don't get anything with our clan symbol on it?" Asuma whined, blatantly jealous.

"You will participate in clan traditions and training when you're old enough," Biwako sighed. This wasn't the first time she'd had to tell him this, and I'm sure it wouldn't be the last. The Sarutobi clan didn't start giving children any sort of clan training until they were full fledge genin, and until then they didn't let the children bear the Sarutobi symbol. It was supposed to be a sign that a clansman was an adult or something to that effect.

Asuma let out a moody 'humph,' before Biwako finally ushered us out the front door towards the Academy. It was a gorgeous day outside. Somehow, despite the fact that it was mid-winter, Konoha still managed to be littered with green. We made good time through the brisk morning chill, and before we knew it, we were standing outside the Academy amongst a crowd of other kids all reporting for a day of school.

"Alright, don't dilly dally in the yard too long," Biwako instructed us. "I'll be back in a few hours to pick you up after your exam okay?"

"Okay," I nodded.

Then we split off from Isamu and Biwako, following a big sign that said 'New Students This Way'. There were a few adults standing around with clip boards in the adjacent hall way. Asuma, of course, being the bold little squirt that he was, walked right up to the first one he saw.

"Hi shinobi-san, we're here for the entrance exam," he said.

"Well you're in the right place then. Are you maybe Isamu-kun's brother?" the man smiled down at Asuma.

I watched as Asuma's polite smile fell a little bit from his face. He wasn't quite frowning, but he didn't look particularly happy to be compared to his brother. I decided to jump in before Asuma accidentally said something rude.

"Yes, this is Asuma, and my name is Natsuki Senju," I said, looping my arm through Asuma's. He shot me a vague annoyed look, but didn't fight it. The shinobi started to jot something down on his clip board.

"Great, well if you two can go sit down right over there. One of the nurses will be out to get you in a minute," the man nodded.

The area he was talking about was a row of chairs that were leaning up against the wall towards the end of the hallway. Five or so kids seemed to be occupying them already. Two looked to me like civilian first generation ninjas, but the other three were naggingly familiar. Against the right wall there was a little boy with white hair, a green scarf, and a mask covering his mouth and nose. Then on the right there was a girl with startling red eyes and a boy with dark shiny hair. The white haired boy, I knew immediately. That mask could only belong to Kakashi Hatake. He seemed to look pretty sullen at the moment. His little black eyes kept darting over towards the two civilian kids with a good bit of animosity. As for the other two familiar strangers, I couldn't place them immediately.

Thankfully though, there seemed to be two open seats right in between the unnamed boy and girl, so without further ado, I dragged Asuma to go join them.

"How long have you guys been waiting?" I asked the other two kids as we settled in.

"Not too long," the girl smiled. "They've been calling someone back every ten minutes or so."

Almost on cue, one of the nurses came out and called Kakashi back. I'm not going to lie, watching him go was slightly disappointing. I had been planning on pulling him into our conversation at some point, but I suppose that I'd have time to talk to him later if I wanted to. He seemed rather relieved to be leaving the hallway anyways. Distantly I wondered what those kids had done to annoy Kakashi so badly.

"Well at that rate, we're going to have to wait like a whole hour," Asuma groaned, interrupting my thoughts. "There's like five people ahead of us now."

"It's okay friend," the other boy grinned. "I'm sure that the waiting will go by in no time. This will be an hour to train our patience!"

"You're the kid whose always running in the park," Asuma appraised the enthusiastic boy for a second. Our new friend beamed at Asuma's recognition, shooting us a big thumbs up.

"That's me! I train every day, so that one day I will become a splendid ninja. My name is Might Guy! Remember it!" he announced.

Ah, that made a lot of sense actually. The way his hair was styled to flare out around his ears had thrown me off, but in retrospect, I probably should have pegged him the moment I saw the forest green tank top.

"My name is Natsuki Senju," I said, trying to be friendly. "And this is Asuma Sarutobi. It's nice to meet you."

"Nat, he's kind of weird," Asuma whispered in my ear. I sent a swift elbow into his ribcage. Be nice, I told him with my eyes. Asuma made a grumbling sound, and shifted to the girl on his other side.

"What's your name?" he asked the girl, purposefully turning his whole back to me.

"Kurenai Yuhi," she smiled. If I could've done a spit take, I probably would've. "And I don't think we'll be here for a full hour Asuma-kun. They've got several exam rooms. I'm sure we'll be called in no time."

"Well, um, you want to play a game while we wait?" Asuma asked.

"Sure," Kurenai shrugged. The two of them proceeded to start playing a simple word game that Asuma had picked up from Isamu at some point in the past few months. I suppressed a smirk watching the two of them. Asuma was the sort of kid who made really impulsive first impressions. He'd probably already made up his mind in the past fifteen minutes that he was going to be great friends with Kurenai, but of course, he didn't know the half of it.

So, while we waited, I decided to let Asuma and Kurenai chat and turned to make small talk with Guy. This of course was kind of an experience, as I don't think that Guy was used to talking with other kids his age. He completely dominated our conversation, bubbling on and on about training and work outs and the academy. I didn't mind so much, of course. He was a cute kid and was clearly already very passionate about ninja training.

"Tonight, if I don't pass the entrance exam, I am going to do five hundred push ups," Guy was going on. "Then in the morning they will know how strong I am, and will have to take me."

"Sure," I mumbled my vague agreement. The more Guy talked, the more certain I was that he knew he wasn't going to pass this exam. He was making a lot of subtle excuses and talking about all the things he was going to do to make them accept him. It was starting to make me kind of nervous actually. I really didn't want to have to do five hundred push ups to prove my ninja potential to the administration.

Thankfully, Kurenai had been correct. The wait wasn't half as bad as Asuma had been anticipating it to be. Within the first fifteen minutes both of the civilian kids were gone. Then by twenty minutes of sitting, they called Guy back. Another five, and then Kurenai left as well. Asuma started bobbing impatiently the minute his new friend was gone, but at that point the worst was over. They called him five minutes later, leaving me out in the hall alone with a few other random kids who had shown up after us.

"Natsuki Senju?" a woman stepped into the hall a few moments later. She had purple hair, and was wearing typical cream colored nursing attire. Vaguely I wondered if maybe she was one of Tsunade's and Biwako's co-workers. All of the staff helping with the entrance academy must be.

"That's me," I raised my hand.

"Follow me please," she said. I nodded, pushing myself up to my feet. She took me around the corner into a surprisingly white examination room. I had basically walked right into a little mini hospital, with the white tile floor and the cream colored wall. There was a reclining patient chair in the center of the room and a long countertop by the window with all sorts of medical equipment spread out along it.

Immediately, I knew I hated it in there.

"If you could just take a seat," the woman said. I padded numbly towards the chair, pulling myself onto it with sweaty hands. I don't think I've been close to a hospital since I'd died. Well, I suppose I must've been born in one, but I couldn't see clearly back then. It was different. The last solid memories I had involving medicine were completely surrounded by pain, depression, and grief.

"Alright Natsuki-chan, are you ready to get this over with?" the nurse asked, as she pulled on a pair of gloves. "My name is Rika. I'll be examining you. Has someone explained to you everything we test for?"

"Blood test, eye sight, reflexes, and chakra network," I recited nervously. The air stunk of sanitizer, and it was setting me on edge. If I closed my eyes, I could almost see another nurse, from another world standing in front of me.

You're sick hun, real sick.

Just the thought of that day made my entire being want to shrink. That wasn't an option though. Squeezing my eyes shut for a moment, I tried to ground myself. This wasn't the time to be distracted- the entrance exam was important to me.

"Natsuki-chan, are you okay? Did you hear me?" Rika touched my shoulder. I opened my eyes to see her concerned face peering at mine.

"S-sorry. I'm just nervous," I told her.

"I'm sure there's nothing to worry about. I'm good friends with your Biwako-san you know. She's told me a lot of good things about you," she said sagely. "Here, we can start with an easy test if you want? See that sign on the wall over there with the pictures? Lean back in your chair and tell me what they are. Start at the top."

I did as she instructed, stiffly sinking into the patient chair. The actual sight exam went just fine. The sign she was talking about hung on the back of the door, and had a pyramid of different animals on it. I went through and told her what each one was without any errors.

"Lion, cat, mouse, monkey," I finished with the bottom line.

She scratched something down on her notepad. "Very good. See, this isn't so bad at all. One test down, three to go," she cooed.

With a swallow, I nodded, and we moved on to do the reflex and chakra exams. Both were pretty simple. The reflex exam consisted of a few simple exercises with a ball, as well as some poking and prodding by the nurse. I dropped the ball a few times out of shear nerves, but I don't think they were looking for coordination. It was more of an experiment to make sure that all of my limbs were functioning right and that I reacted to the ball in a natural way.

For the chakra test, she had me lean back in the patient chair and lift my shirt so that my stomach was showing. Being in the patient chair made my nerves flare up again. Thankfully though, this procedure wasn't exactly something I was familiar with. While I was leaning back, her hands started to glow blue.

"Sorry if this is a little cold," she said as she pressed her palm to the center of my stomach. A strange chilled tickling sensation fluttered over my stomach, and I suppressed an involuntary shudder. "Oh, very good. You seem to have quite a lot of chakra for someone your age," she commented idly.

A corner of doubt in my mind was silenced by relief. That was the test that I was afraid of failing. If something had been wrong with me, it would've been in the chakra department.

Unfortunately, I didn't actually feel better knowing that I was probably out of the woods in terms of this exam. I still had the blood test left, and while I was almost certain that I was going to register negative for any of the number of things they tested, I adamantly didn't want a needle being stuck in my arm.

"You're doing great Natsuki-chan. Just one more to go," Rika said as she drifted over to the counter with all the medical equipment on it.

My entire body felt like it was breaking out into a cold sweat. I knew the procedure back at home for getting blood drawn. They'd done tests quite often after they'd found out I was sick. Every few weeks I'd have to give a little bit more so that they could see if my treatment was working. But of course, you know that it didn't. It was irrational to think that this blood test would come up with something strange in it. I remembered all too vividly what it felt like to be sick. I wasn't like that anymore. I had so much energy now. I could run, do strength exercises, and I'd always be back to 100 percent in just a few days.

That didn't change the fact that I did not want that needle in my arm.

"Do we have to do the blood test like this? Can't we, um, do some other sort of test? Like a urine test maybe? Or a spit test? Something without needles?" I asked, staring at her prepare a few tubes. It didn't look like they'd be taking much. Just a few ounces so they could inspect for specific problems.

"Sorry, this is the one we have to do," Rika said, sounding sympathetic. "I promise it won't take more than five minutes though, and you don't have to watch me while I do it. If you look away and it will just feel like a small pinch."

"No really, I don't like needles," I said, feeling a wave of panic crushing me. My limbs were shaking, and I suddenly felt like I couldn't breath. My heart was beating in my throat. On every thrum I swear I heard that retched nurse:

You're sick hun, real sick.

"Natsuki-chan?" Rika asked, sounding alarmed. She dropped the needle she was holding and appeared by my side instantaneously. Her fingers wrapped around mine, and with her free hand she started rubbing circles on my back. "Calm down sweetie. It's going to be okay. You're having a panic attack. Take deep breaths with me, okay? In. Out. In. Out."

In. Out. In. Out.

I focused on the sound of her voice, forcing myself to follow her rhythm and shutting everything else out. In. Out. In. Out. Everything was going to be okay. I wasn't sick anymore. This was just supposed to be a simple physical, and before I freaked out, I had been passing everything with flying colors.

In. Out. In. Out.

Slowly, my throat opened up again and my heart beat started to settle. The horrible choking feeling had passed, leaving me scared but in one piece. I'd never experienced anything like that before, not even the night that I'd overheard Hiruzen and Biwako talking about the impending war. I'd just been dealing with an information overload before, but this time, I literally felt like I was dying.

"Better?" Rika asked peering down at me. She looked pretty damn concerned, not that I blamed her. I bet I was the first kid to ever have a full blown panic attack during the Academy Entrance Exam. For most people, this wasn't that big a deal after all.

"Y-yes. I'm sorry," I said quietly. "I really don't like needles."

"Have you ever had to deal with them in the past? Did you ever fall down when you were little and have to go to the hospital? Or maybe did one of your family members say something to you about them?" Rika asked.

"Um, well no. I've just ah, read a story once where needles were bad," I replied. It was a pretty thin lie, and I knew it was going to fool nobody. But what was I going to tell her? Why yes Rika- ma'am. I actually had a terminal illness in my past life and now I associate needles and hospitals with death.

Yeah right, that'd go over like a lead brick.

"Right," Rika frowned at me. "Well, this is part of the requirements to get into the Academy. If you want we don't have to do this today, okay? You can go home and it will be completely fine, and you can come back another time when you're ready. But I can't let you go join the rest of the class without getting your blood work. We need to make sure that you don't have any bad things in your system, because if you do then ninja training could be dangerous for your health."

I swallowed and peered over at the blood test equipment. Going home sounded like a swell idea, honestly. Except that if I left today, everyone would know that I failed. I'm sure Biwako and Hiruzen were going to hear about the panic attack one way or another, but that didn't mean that Isamu and Asuma had to. Just thinking about Asuma's potential reaction to this mess made me cringe. He was like my partner in crime, the fric to my frac, my brother. I didn't want to let him down.

Hell, he was probably already waiting in the classroom for me to come join him.

Again, I looked at the blood testing equipment. It hadn't been so long since I'd been getting blood tests on the regular, and no matter how opposed to it I was, I had to do this today. For Asuma.

"No," I said. "I can do it now, please."

"Alright, well. Why don't you just lean back and close your eyes. If you want me to stop at any point. Just say so and I will. No questions asked," Rika nodded.

I did as she instructed, feeling my palms start to sweat again. My stomach was in knots, but I didn't allow myself to loose it this time around. As she flitted around the room preparing the testing equipment, I focused on my breathing.

In. Out. In. Out.

She wiped down my arm with some sort of sanitizing cloth, and my heart beat started to pick up again.

In. Out. In. Out.

There was a familiar pinch of the needle going in.

In. Out. In Out.

For what must've just been a minute or so, I could feel my pulse beating in my arm. The tube that she was using felt warm against my skin. Then, suddenly the pinching feeling was gone, and I could feel her pressing against the spot where the needle had been.

"Alright, you can open your eyes now," Rika said. She was handling a bright pink bandaid with her free hand, and a kind smile was stretched on her face. "You did wonderfully."

"Does that mean I passed?" I asked immediately. The anxiety over my test results had returned with a force as I peered at the little vial of my blood on the counter. What if they found out I was sick? What if I had some sort of anti-ninja disease? Or worse, what if I was dying again?

"Well, let's find out," Rika said cheerily. For the first time, I noticed there were several scrolls sitting on the counter, each decorated with a different pattern of strange characters. Rika took the small vial of blood she had extracted and started putting drops of it onto the center of each seal. Each of them started smoking the moment my body fluid came in contact with them, and after a few moments they rolled up with a quick swish.

Rika turned them over, looking at a new symbol that had appeared on the scrolls like a seal.

"Yup, looks like you're in the clear," she told me.

I felt a huge grin growing on my face as I leaped up out of the patient chair and launched myself at Rika's legs. "Thank you so much Rika-san! I'm sorry for being a bad patient," I beamed.

"That's perfectly fine, you did great," she smiled down at me. "Now let's get you off to class. Wouldn't want to miss your first few hours of lessons right?"

We left that wretched examination room behind, and headed off towards one of the classrooms. When I stepped through the door, I spotted Asuma immediately in one of the middle rows. Kurenai was sitting on his right, but the spot on his left he appeared to be saving for me. With another wide grin, I thanked Rika one last time before trotting over to join him.

"Took you long enough Nat-chan," Asuma said.

"Sorry," I shrugged, not really feeling sorry at all. "The blood work just took a long time I guess."

"Well whatever, we're ninja in training now," he told me, happily. "Just wait, in a few years maybe we'll even be stronger than Dad."

"Maybe," I smirked. Of course, Asuma was being a little optimistic there, but his mood seemed to be in the right place. The entire room had an infectious sort of excitement to it, as all the little ninja-to-be filed in.

Sitting there, I couldn't help but feel, at least for a moment, that I'd finally started moving in a good direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got another chapter up, hope you liked it! 
> 
> A quick note on ages: This chapter takes place in early January. Nastuki is 4 years old with her birthday in March. Asuma is 5 years old with a birthday in October. Kakashi is 4 years old with a birthday in September. Kurenai, Guy, Rin, and Obito are all also 5 years old as well (so Asuma's age). That puts both Kakashi and Natsuki as a little bit younger than the rest of their class.
> 
> As we get into the story, you'll see that I have actually fudged a few cannon characters ages to fit certain people into my story. It's hard sometimes because Kishimoto wasn't very meticulous about how old certain characters were. So I'll keep you posted when important people pop up 
> 
> Anyways, until next time


	9. Diet Soda Society: Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arc Title and Chapter Quote from song Diet Soda Society by the Maine

**Diet Soda Society**

__"She told me just shut up, your food is getting colder, your words are getting older"_ _

* * *

For how excited I had been to start classes at the Academy, it turned out to be a lot duller than I expected. I guess that I had gotten so carried away with all my ninja fantasies, that I'd forgotten the Academy courses were targeted for five year olds. Apparently first year students like myself didn't even work with their own chakra. It was all theory until we were a little older and our chakra networks were more developed.

For once, I actually was regretting reading all the books I had over the past few years. If I had done less, then maybe class would've actually been a bit more interesting.

"You think Isamu-kun is going on some super cool mission right now Nat?" Asuma whispered to me as we sat in our morning writing course. He was equally as unchallenged as I was at the moment- we'd gone through our Japanese lessons with Biwako together after all.

"He's probably sweeping Hiruzen-san's office," I shrugged. "You heard him talking about all the chores the village has been having him do."

"Yeah, you're right," Asuma nodded, seeming happy with that thought. Isamu had passed his graduation exam with flying colors the day we had been enrolled into the Academy. Since then he'd been swept up into the genin life with his two new teammates Tonbo and Raido and their sensei, a woman named Rini. Asuma was horribly jealous, as per usual; although I didn't completely understand why. Sure, Isamu had a sporty new headband now, but he was also only doing D-rank missions. While Isamu was shouldering the menial labor with good grace, it didn't change the fact that he was basically the village's personal worker monkey right now.

Although, I supposed that even dull village chores might have been more exciting than my classes. As I mentioned a moment ago, the day always started with a reading and writing class where they would go through language basics with us. This hour was usually pretty rowdy, since a lot of other clan kids also seem to have gotten home tutoring in the topic. Unfortunately, because many of our classmates were civilians and war orphans, we were moving along at a sluggish pace.

"Maybe if we ask Jin-sensei, she'll give us more interesting stuff to work on by ourselves while she's lecturing," I muttered, as our teacher started going off on a tangent about the importance of stroke order.

Asuma's nose crinkled. "If you're going to ask her for more stuff to do, leave me out of it," he grumbled.

On Asuma's other side, Kurenai smirked. It'd only been a few weeks, but she was already catching on to Asuma's moods. "If you asked for more work Natsuki-chan, I bet he'd ask for more too right afterwards," she said, as her little hand clumsily copied whatever Jin-sensei was writing on the board. She wasn't quite as well read as Asuma and I, and therefore actually paid attention to the morning lectures.

Kurenai impressed me every day with her patience, sitting next to the two of us. I'd probably have been pretty annoyed if I was trying to learn while my neighbors were messing around. Asuma specifically could be pretty distracting when he wanted to be, but we never seemed to bother her. She just kept writing away while the two of us complained and played games right next to her.

"Would not," Asuma protested with a frown.

"Would too," I stuck my tongue out at him with a grin.

"Natsuki! Asuma! Do you want me to separate you too!" Jin-sensei called from the front.

"No, sensei," we chorused together.

The morning continued just like that for a while longer. When we finished with our reading and writing class, we moved onto chakra theory, which again would've been more interesting if I hadn't stolen Isamu's textbooks when I was three. Then, after chakra theory, we moved onto math. This was actually new information for most of the kids in my class, but, of course, not for me. If you haven't noticed yet, I was kind of a big nerd in my past life. I studied a lot, and while I loved books, I wasn't so bad with my sciences. The elementary level math problems they were handing us were well within the realm of my capabilities.

Then finally, after an hour of basic addition and subtraction, we got to go outside for lunch and recess. Asuma, Kurenai, and I had claimed a nice shaded spot underneath a tree on the first day of school, and it had been ours ever since. Sometimes, of course, some of the other kids would come and join us. Guy - who they'd predictably allowed to enroll in the Academy despite the fact that he'd failed the entrance exam - joined us about once a week, depending on whether his work out schedule allowed him a break during lunch.

Plus, every now and then one of Kurenai's neighbors- a brown haired girl with purple face paint- would sit with us as well. The first time that had happened, I'd felt like a bunch of rocks were rolling around in my stomach. If the girl had been by herself, I might not have even recognized her. However, she usually was followed by a little boy with orange googles and a big fan symbol on his back.

"This is Rin," Kurenai had introduced us on the first day.

"Hi nice to meet you," she had smiled at us. "This is my friend Obito, we met in the hallway during the entrance exam."

"Hiya," the little boy waved to us.

Asuma and Kurenai were both happy to have some extra company, and the two of them carried the conversation onward without a hitch. As for myself, I found my eyes gliding across the yard towards a white haired boy who was as small as me. Kakashi almost always ate alone beside the wall of the Academy building. He never went out of his way to talk to the other kids, or even to play in the yard by himself. He just sat in the corner, ate his bento box, and read a ninja book by himself.

In a lot of ways, I sympathized with his choices, because if it weren't for Asuma, I knew that I'd probably be doing the same thing. However, I couldn't help but feel kind of sick when I thought about what was coming in his future. I knew what it felt like now, to loose everyone that you had ever cared for. Kakashi looked so small from across the yard, but he was going to bear a mountain of grief one day not too long from now.

I glanced back at Obito. The same could probably be said for him too.

Secretly, I was always grateful on the days that Obito and Rin chose to sit by themselves or with other friends during lunch. Seeing them together was giving me premature guilt over the shitty future that was coming for them. As time went on, it did get easier to act normal around them- Asuma usually kicked me in the shin and gave me a weird look whenever I was being unnaturally quiet in their presence- but the ill feeling never really went completely away.

Interestingly enough, the thing that really shifted my attitude towards my two classmates was the introduction of kunoichi classes into our daily schedule. The first few weeks of school they had been giving us an extra hour of recess, but around the turn of the first month, Jin-sensei called all of the girls in our class over to her.

"Alright ladies, I know you all probably want to go back over and play, but we've got a special class for you today," she explained, as she pushed a strand of long brown hair behind one of her ears.

"What kind of special class?" one of the other kids questioned.

"Kunoichi class," Jin-sensei answered. "See, there are special social rules that little girls follow outside of the shinobi world, and it's very important that you know them. There will be times when you'll have to go under cover as a rich merchants daughter or maybe a feudal lord's wife, and if you can't play the part than you'll be spotted immediately."

"But don't all ninja know the transformation jutsu?" I asked skeptically. I had an inkling of where this was going, and I was already very annoyed with it. "Shouldn't the boys have to know this stuff too just in case they're undercover as a civilian girl."

Jin-sensei just sort of smiled at me, like I'd asked a silly question. "You'll see they're no good at this sort of stuff. The village always tries to send a kunoichi on missions undercover missions where our ninja have to impersonate civilian ladies."

"Have you ever tried to teach the boys proper etiquette? How do you even know they're bad at it?" I pressed, my frown deepening. Some little voice inside of me was whispering that I should let this go, but I couldn't help it. I'd come from a place where women were usually treated as a man's equal, and for the most part, things were the same here in Konoha. It was easy to forget sometimes that this new world was actually still pretty archaic. It seemed completely unfair to me that Asuma was going to probably be having a burping contest with Guy and Obito while I was off picking flowers or something.

A few of the civilian girls were giving me dirty looks. I suppose that kunoichi class was probably right up their alley. Instead of being taught about jutsu by their parents growing up, their mothers had probably been teaching them about flower picking and societal niceties from the womb.

Jin-sensei, meanwhile, just looked very unamused. "Natsuki-chan, if you have a problem with the Academy curriculum, than you ask your mother to have a meeting with me to excuse you from it. Although, I don't picture Biwako-sama being very happy with your attitude today," she said.

I glared at her. Of course she'd go there. Biwako was never going to side with me on this. Etiquette was one of Biwako's favorite things in life, and I knew she'd probably kick me out of the Academy before she allowed me to skip kunoichi class.

"Tsunade-nee wouldn't care," I muttered to myself, feeling a sudden pang of longing wash over me. Tsunade was everything a proper lady probably shouldn't be. She was uncouth, sarcastic, and loud-mouthed. I bet she gave her kunoichi sensei hell when she was in the Academy. Tsunade was still out at war though. There were always stories floating around about the lives she was saving in the field, and about the incredible battles she was fighting alongside Jiraiya and Orochimaru. I'd even heard the "Senin" moniker floating around once or twice.

All the stories made her seem larger than life, but I knew better. I wanted my cousin's sarcastic loud mouth home again. Maybe then I would have a partner in crime to take on the patriarchy with. Ha.

"What's that Natsuki-chan?" Jin-sensei asked, a note of warning in her tone.

"I'm so excited for my super cool kunoichi classes," I grumbled back.

"That's what I thought," she nodded.

As we started following Jin-sensei towards a field on the other side of the Academy building, Kurenai and Rin fell into step with on either side of me. "I agree with you, it's not fair that the boys get to play an extra hour and we don't," Kurenai said quietly, like she was afraid Jin-sensei might overhear.

"Obito could probably use etiquette training," Rin bobbed her head. Then she paused, looking a little unsure of herself. "You said something about Tsunade-sama back there. Is it true she's your sister?"

"She's my cousin," I smiled, a little amused by the honorific. "It's like a clan thing, calling her Tsunade-nee is just respectful or something."

"Oh, you're lucky. My family all works in the hospital. My Dad says Tsunade-sama is the most incredible medic he's ever met," she told me. "I want to be just like her one day when I grow up."

"Um, thanks. She is pretty incredible," I blinked. I knew in that moment that I wasn't going to be able to avoid Rin for the next few years. Someone who admired Tsunade so much was definitely all right in my book. The third shinobi war was a long ways off, maybe it wasn't so out of the question that I couldn't keep Rin alive- and then keep Obito sane by proxy.

I was a weak kid when it came down to it. If someone was being friendly to me, I wasn't able to push them away for very long.

We spent the next hour picking flowers in a field, grouping colors and symbols together to supposedly create a bouquet for good luck. Kurenai and Rin actually did seem to be enjoying themselves with it, despite the support they'd given me earlier. I however was grumpy about the class the entire time. When we finished, I handed Jin-sensei a sad little bundle of wilting flowers with a big sarcastic grin on my face. She was wildly unimpressed with me.

I practically skipped back to Asuma after that though, and we began an hour of PE. Body Conditioning was the one thing that the Academy didn't joke around with. They expected a lot from us, despite the fact that half the class had never run a lap in their life. I found myself grateful for the training regime Asuma had suggested so many months back. Things hadn't changed that much, I couldn't quite keep up with Asuma, Guy, or Kakashi, the fast three boys in our class. But I was eons ahead of some of the other kids- faster than every other girl that I had seen in my kunoichi class. They would catch up to me with time - I was still very small for my age- but for now, I could enjoy the edge my extra experience gave me.

Finally we ended the day with fine skills and tactics training. The lesson would change depending on the day of the week. Three days out of five we would work on throwing various kinds of kunai, shuriken, and senbon. The other two days we'd discus the theory behind survival, combat, chakra, or whatever else the curriculum dictated we needed to know. This was my favorite part of the day. Jin-sensei always surprised us with the changing lessons, and I actually got to start learning some ninja shenanigans during this hour. The first few days, I was pretty worried that I wouldn't be any good at throwing kunai, but I was finding that my new ninja body was a lot more coordinated than my last one. I was so proud the first time I got a wooden practice tool to sink into a target.

After throwing practice we were done for the day. That was it. Of course, there was a dismissal process, and we had to gather and debrief the day before they let us go, but more or less, I've just given you my day to day life in a nut shell. I think I understood why Isamu worked so hard to graduate early now. The Academy was kind of nice, the days were routine, and the consistency brought a certain air of peace to things. But there always felt like there was something boiling underneath of it. Every activity we did had a purpose to it. Learn to read so that you can interpret intel. Solve this math problem so that you'll have good intuition on a battle field. Throw this kunai so you can hit the vitals. Memorize this strategy so you can kill all enemies when you're outnumbered. Play at lunch so that you will feel a bond with your future comrades.

Everything always wrapped back to fighting and war. Sure, I wasn't all that surprised by this, I knew what I was getting into when I signed up. It's just- the activities were making me feel so restless. We were playing games with such serious topics, and I didn't ever really feel truly challenged. I wanted to start learning jutsu.

Biwako would've frowned if she heard me speaking like that though. Everything I wanted was going to come with time, and, of course, things never really happen the way you think they will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Whelp, it's been a while since my last update. I blame one of my professors for giving us bi-weekly 60 page lab reports (I'm not even exaggerating). Anyways, hope you liked this chapter. It was a lot of character intro. Next chapter will bring some more Tsunade/war fallout.
> 
> Until Next Time!
> 
> Aule


	10. Diet Soda Society: Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arc Title and Chapter Quote from song Diet Soda Society by The Maine

**Diet Soda Society**

_" _Between you and me, the psyche and the soma"__

* * *

 

The war was over.

In the streets people were celebrating. Strangers were hugging each other, civilians were giving away things for free, and shinobi were streaming through the gates. The news came the same way it did when the war started. A messenger crow wearing a headband made out of white fabric swooped into the window.

"Villagers," he squawked. "A treaty's been signed. Spread the word. Konoha has peace. Spread the word."

The hours after that were a complete blur of complete and utter relief. I knew that every face I saw on the street would be there the next day. I knew that Isamu wouldn't get called out into the field at any moment's notice. I knew that Hiruzen would in all likelihood be home for dinner tomorrow night. It was wonderful. I felt like I had regained a shard a happiness that'd been lost the day Nawaki died. A shard that I never really expected to return.

So of course, that was cause to celebrate. The boys and I took to the streets without any particular destination in mind. We walked through the Sarutobi complex, stopping to talk to Asuma's relatives that we never really spoke to. Then to the shopping district where people were singing and dancing in storefronts. Isamu brought us to our favorite dango shop and treated us with money he'd saved from the months of D-rank missions his team had been plowing through.

Needless to say, the entire morning felt like a surreal dream. Before long though, I started itching to see the adults in my life. The crow may have announced the end of the war, but it wasn't going to feel legitimate until I had my arms wrapped around Biwako, Hiruzen, and Tsunade all at once. They were my people, and I wanted to physically see that they were safe.

Of course, Biwako and Hiruzen were locked up with work at the moment. Biwako had disappeared late the previous night to start a long hospital shift, while Hiruzen was off on Hokage business. And Tsunade. Well, lord knows where Tsunade was, or what sort of terrible emotional state she was in. If the war was over, that meant Dan Kato was dead. There was no doubt about it - she had to be a hot mess right now, wherever she was. Thinking about it made me anxious.

Thankfully, it didn't seem like we would be waiting too long. After getting Dango, we had gone over to a nearby park, where Asuma insisted on playing ninja games with us for a while. We were probably there until about two o'clock, hanging with some civilian kids when the foot traffic started gradually increasing. Isamu was the first to notice the sudden influx of people walking by.

"What's going on," he asked aloud, stopping our mundane play.

We halted for a heartbeat. Then another.

Then suddenly an excited teenager broke over towards the park. "The shinobi are at the gate! They've all come home at once! The entire main force!" he shouted at us before breaking back to the street.

I didn't even stop to think. The minute he'd said the words 'come home' it was like the rest of the world had faded out. "Tsunade-nee," I muttered. Then I broke into a sprint, following the flow of civilians heading towards the main entrance.

"Natsuki!" I heard Isamu call after me, but I was in the wind with absolutely no regard for my surrogate siblings. I knew they were okay. I needed to see Tsunade immediately.

For once, my small size was a blessing. The sea of legs flowing down the main road was like an elaborate obstacle course, but I wove around the adults with grace, making good use of my strong baby-ninja legs. Unfortunately, while I was navigating relatively well, the adults were obstructing my view. Once I'd lost sight of the park behind me, I quickly lost all sense of direction in the mob. I couldn't tell if we were heading in the right direction until - Bam!

I suddenly found myself stepping around the legs of a teary eyed woman in a flak jacket- pushing in the opposite direction of the crowd. Her headband shined in the sunlight, and I could almost feel her happiness reach me as she looked around for her own family. I smiled for a moment before I dived into the hoard of our returning soldiers. Tsunade had to be around here somewhere.

Suddenly, I had newfound sympathy for the person who first coined the phrase 'searching for a needle in a haystack'. Finding Tsunade in that crowd was impossible. I craned my neck upwards, trying to get a good look at ever face I walked by, but I was shooting blanks. I could barely glimpse half of them before they pushed forward and disappeared behind me, and I knew I was missing even more as they passed far to my left and right. I was too small and this street was too wide. Everyone was shouting a different name while shinobi and family alike all tried to make sense of the chaos.

I was starting to feel rather hopeless when a familiar pale figure flashed in the corner of my eye. Of course I'd have to find him first. At that point though, I was so desperate that it didn't even seem like madness when I started to chase him.

"Orochimaru-senpai!" I called out. His snake eyes lazily followed the sound of my voice, and let me tell you, he didn't seem very happy to see me

"Looking for Tsunade?" he deadpanned, when I caught up to him. I paused to take a look at him. Something was off- I can't say what, but the air about him was... different than it'd been before. I didn't like the way he'd asked if I was looking for Tsunade too. He should've been with her. Like it or not, she trusted him, and if Dan really had died, than she would need the emotional support.

"Yeah, is she with Jiraiya-senpai?" I blinked. That was a stupid question, but it had been the first thing that came to my mind. I knew that Jiraiya was probably still back in Ame training a trio of lost war orphans.

Orochimaru's eyes flashed at the sound of Jiraiya's name. In fact, for a moment, it looked like he might even have something snide to say about my question. He swallowed it though, and in an instant he wiped all emotion off of his face. Maybe I'd just imagined it. I never really talked much to Orochimaru- I avoided him when I could. Maybe he was just hard to read.

"She was in the back of the march, one of the little genin was following her around," he told me.

"Thank you," I nodded, ready to get away. Before I disappeared into the crowd though, his hand caught my arm. My heart skipped two beats for a second as I looked at Orochimaru in confusion. His lips were curved into an unhappy frown, and his creepy snake eyes felt like they were piercing through me. For the first time since I met him, I felt like he was actually looking at me, instead of just tolerating my presence as a byproduct of being near his sensei and teammate.

"A-are you okay Orochimaru-senpai?" I stuttered out.

"Your Tsunade... she's worked herself up into quite a state... perhaps you can fix her," he muttered. Then he released me. I backed away from him slowly, dissolving into the crowd and not looking back. That was more disturbing than anything I'd expected from him. If even Orochimaru was troubled about Tsunade's mental state, what did that mean? I knew she was going to be grieving when she got back, but I suppose that I had been so anxious to get back to the way things had been that I'd allowed my excitement to cloud myself from reality. Today's homecoming was probably about to take a very depressing turn

I found Tsunade exactly where Orochimaru had said she'd be - near the back of the shinobi force standing with a dark haired girl. The sight of her made my stomach clench. Orochimaru hadn't been exaggerating in the slightest. She looked like a ghost on her feet. Her clothes were torn and damaged, with old blood staines speckled all over the sleeves, and her eyes were empty and distant. The genin girl beside her also looked rather defeated, but she at least seemed to be taking in the homecoming atmosphere. She was talking quietly to Tsunade, who seemed to be ignoring her.

With a lump in my throat, I called out to her. "Tsunade-nee?"

Thankfully she did respond to that. Her head jerked over in my direction, and she took me in for a moment. Closing the gap between us, I threw myself at my cousin, forcing her to catch me.

"Hey kiddo," she greeted wearily. She sounded hoarse, like she'd been yelling a lot recently.

"I missed you," I told her. "They've been making me pick flowers at the Academy, and nobody would side with me and tell them how stupid it is."

That actually got a bark of a laugh out of her. Though, when I looked up again, I saw that she was crying. Shifting me so that I was resting on one of her hips, she turned towards the genin girl who she'd been standing with. "Natsuki-chan, this is Shizune," she said.

Ah, well I guess that made sense. Shizune must've found Tsunade some point after her Uncle's death. Good. Somebody needed to look out for my cousin, and I knew that Shizune was going to do well by her. "Hi Shizune-senpai, it's nice to meet you" I nodded with the friendliest smile I could muster. This girl might not know it yet, but I intended us to become great friends.

"Oh, um, it's good to meet you too," Shizune replied, giving me a slight bow.

Good, now that introductions were over, it was time to start fixing her up. She looked like she needed a change of clothes, a bath, probably a fair amount of sleep, and most importantly, lot's of time with family. By which I meant lots of time with me. I wanted to make sure that she felt loved and taken care of. Of course, to the outside world, I was still only five years old, so I had some limitations. I knew what it was like to loose everything though. She would have to feel the grief, but maybe I could lessen the loneliness.

First things first , I needed to get Tsunade out of this crowd.

"Nee-chan, you smell like sweat, and you've got dirt all over," I told her, touching a tear that was rolling down her cheek.

"There was a war," Tsunade rolled her eyes.

"We can go to the bath house," I declared. "And you can change out of your gross ninja gear and buy me dinner! I'll tell you all about my lessons at the Academy. It'll be just like before... Okay?"

She looked at me wearily, like the effort of the afternoon might actually drown her. Was I going too far? Maybe she really did just need to rest.

"Alright," she nodded. "Just like before."

"Shizune-senpai you'll come too yeah?" I grinned. Shizune blinked, apparently surprised. She'd been twiddling her thumbs during our happy little reunion, looking a little sad and lost. I wondered vaguely if she'd lost everyone as well. She must've if she had been willing to leave the village to follow Tsunade around for twenty odd years. Yeah, she was definitely going to be invited to everything from now on.

"Of course, I'd be glad," she smiled.

And so life rolled on. That evening was as nice as I could make it. We hit everything on our agenda. We swung by Tsunade's house first to pick up some clothes, then Shizune's to pick up some for her as well. Then we went to the bath house, which was actually very crowded that evening. We soaked there for along time, while I rattled on and on about the Academy work and the friends I'd been making. And then we wrapped the evening up with dinner at a small restaurant down the street.

It should have been perfect. I'd been dreaming about the end of the war for so long. This evening was supposed to mark a return to normal. A return to bliss, really. It didn't take long for me to notice how horribly off Tsunade really was feeling. She had put on a happy face for me when I'd first found her, but she couldn't retain it for long. I quickly found that I was talking more to Shizune - who really did seem starved for company-than I was to Tsunade. My cousin was zoning out of our conversation, getting lost in some dark corner of her mind. When she thought nobody was looking, she'd idly start rubbing the back of her hands, like there was something stained on them

By the end of the night, my stomach was in knots. I didn't know how to make this better.

"Are you going to go back to the hospital tomorrow nee-chan," I asked eventually. I was loosing steam at this point. It was hard being so peppy and optimistic when my company wasn't in the mood.

Tsunade visibly flinched at the question.

"I think I'm going to be off duty for a little while," she muttered. "I... I'm telling sensei that I need a vacation."

"Oh, okay," I nodded quietly. "Maybe you can start picking me up from school then."

"Maybe kiddo," Tsunade shrugged.

And that was that. The following week was not the change that I wanted it to be. Tsunade didn't go back to work, and because she didn't go back, Biwako had to stay. Hiruzen was busier than ever as well, working to transition the village out of war time operations. The celebratory mood that had permeated through the village only lasted until the first funeral. People had been so busy the past few years just staying alive, they hadn't had a chance to think, and now that it was over, things were hitting them all at once.

Plus, as if the entire world was just trying to smite me, school took a turn as well. See, we had a final war casualty count now. Forces were depleted, and they were in dire need of more ninja. Someone made an executive decision that they should accelerate our classes. Chakra training was going to start early.

Of course, this was exciting when Jin-sensei first announced it to us. I swear, I've never seen Asuma look so engaged in my life.

"We're going to learn jutsu today!" he bubbled next to me.

"Pay attention Asuma," Jin-sensei chastised him. We were circled around her in the grass on the Academy yard. Nothing was going to get past her today.

Asuma, of course didn't seem to have heard her. He was just as jittery as he had been a moment before. I guess I could sympathize with him today though. This was going to be the beginning. Today we'd start with some easy E-rank jutsu. Who knew what I'd be learning tomorrow. This was literally everything I'd been waiting for since I'd woken up in this world.

Hell yeah. Bring on the superpowers.

"We've talked a lot about chakra theory the past few months," Jin-sensei was explaining. "Today is going to be about taking that theory and making it real. Since most of you probably have never used your chakra before, this is going to be hard. Right now your chakra network is basically asleep. You're going to have to wake it up and learn to be in tune with it for jutsu. Now I want everybody to spread out. There should be at least two arm lengths between each of you in every direction."

We did as we were told, and I found myself bobbing on my feet with a civilian boy named Kumade on my left and Asuma on my right. My other classmates were fanned out behind me, filling the air with a low excited chatter.

"Great, we're going to start with the transformation jutsu. This is one of the trickiest E-rank jutsu to pull of perfectly; however, usually something will happen as long as you've tapped into your chakra network. That makes it a great jutsu to start with because it'll be easy tell you what you're doing wrong," Jin-sense went on. "Who can tell me the seals that we use for the transformation jutsu?... Yes Rin?"

"Dog, boar, ram," Rin answered happily.

"Yes good. Now everyone demonstrate that for me," Jin-sensei nodded. I formed the seals with my hands, as instructed. My fingers always felt clumsy when doing sign exercises. Thankfully, this wasn't going to be a game of speed, and the three seals for this jutsu were relatively simple.

I could get this with the right amount of time and effort.

"Great, now the thing about the transformation jutsu is that you have to output chakra constantly to maintain it. If you can't do that right now, don't worry. Just try and get the transformation done for a few seconds to get a feel for your chakra" Jin-sensei continued. "The trick to this jutsu is taking the energy that you have stored here and covering your body with it. Each seal you make represents one step in this process. With the dog seal, gather it in your stomach. With the boar seal push it outward and coat your body with it. Then with the Ram seal, release it quickly and activate the jutsu. Try and imagine the person you're transforming into when you activate it, and for now that should get you close. I can't give you much instruction beyond that. Again, remember that chakra is your own inside energy. It's up to you to figure out how to manipulate it - I can only give you exercises to help after we see what sort of trouble your having. Please begin whenever you're ready. Try and transform into me."

Alright, here we go. This was going to be as simple as following a list of instructions. Closing my eyes, I wove my fingers into the dog seal, imagining my energy balling in my stomach just like she said. Then with the boar seal, thinking of it coating my entire body. When I thought that I must've gotten it, I quickly moved to the ram sign. And BAM!

...Nothing. I opened one eye to confirm. Yeah, that's right. Absolutely nothing had happened.

Next to me there was a popping noise, as Asuma briefly turned into a purple haired womanoid before his jutsu attempt dissipated.

"Woah, Nat, did you see that? Did it work?" he squealed, looking at his hands with amazement.

"Yeah I saw- I think you need to work on coating yourself better," I critiqued absently. Behind us, other kids were also popping into different contorted versions of our sensei. Kurenai had had managed to summon a large amount of smoke, covering whatever image she'd achieved too long for us to see how successful she was. Obito had released so much chakra that he'd knocked himself over and smelled almost singed.

Hm, maybe I just needed to try again.

Running through the hand seals a second time, I tried concentrating a little harder. Dog... boar... ram!

There was a pop this time, and for a moment, I thought I'd done it, but no. The noise had come from Kumade on my left, who'd managed to make himself adult height without actually changing his clothing or face. I was still my tiny six-year old self - no chunin jacket, no purple hair. Nothing.

By now, enough of the other kids were having results that it'd started to become noticeable that I was having trouble. Asuma, who'd managed three very different spectacular jutsu failures, glanced over at me looking confused. "Nat have you tried it yet?" he asked.

"Nothing's happening," I told him. I went through the hand signs a third time for his benefit. My stomach sank when once again, there was no reaction.

"Oh, um, maybe you just have to-" Asuma began. He was interrupted by a fair amount of commotion coming from the back of the group. I looked over my shoulder to see Jin-sensei standing between Kurenai and Obito. Of course it wasn't the real Jin-sensei. She was hadn't moved from her spot at the head of our group since class began. The copy exactly identical though, down to the freckles on her nose. What's more, as the seconds ticked by, she didn't disappear. She just stood there with her arms crossed, looking incredibly bored.

"Well done Kakashi," the real Jin-sensei clapped. "Has your father taught you how to do this before, or was it your first time?"

"My first time," the Kakashi-Jin-sensei replied with a shrug. Then with a poof he returned to his small self. Somehow the kid managed to look both aloof and smug at the same exact time. Geez.

"Maybe if his dad was that good the war would've been over moths ago," Kumade muttered under his breath. Hm? Kumade was shooting Kakashi a maliciously jealous look. It was pretty alarming actually. At least I seemed to be the only one who'd heard him muttering. I can't imagine Kakashi would appreciate the snide comments. Come to think of it though, this wasn't the first time I'd heard kids talking behind his back like this. They'd been bothering him ever since we enrolled- always talking about his father and the war. That wasn't right. Kakashi might have been a genius, but he was still a five year old kid. He was going to have enough shit happen to him, his peers didn't need to be making it worse.

Well, at least Jin-sensei was doing something for his self-esteem. She was still practically beaming at his success.

"Excellent," Jin-sensei nodded looking at him with wonder. "Well why don't you go join Guy on the playground for the hour then." He nodded strolling away from us.

When I turned my attention away from him and back to our class, I found there had been a dynamic change. Suddenly, it seemed the competition was on. Nobody wanted to be shown up by the youngest kid in the class. Me included. Of course, most of us were used to missing out on the first place spot by now, but still. If he could get the jutsu in one try, why not me? What made him so special?

Twenty minutes later though, I still hadn't managed to do literally anything. Finally, Jin-sensei noticed, as she walked over to check what was up.

"Having trouble Natsuki?" she frowned at me.

"It's not working," I told her, trying not to sound half as frustrated as I felt.

Jin-sensei crossed her arms. "I can see that. I don't think you're accessing your chakra at all. If you were, something would be happening, even if it wasn't enough," she speculated. "Can you feel it doing anything when you're making the hand signs?"

I closed my eyes and searched for my chakra, trying to 'feel' it as she said. But, honestly, I didn't think anything was there. I mean, I'd lived an entire lifetime without chakra. My new body was very different than my old one, but I'd never noticed a mysterious energy in my stomach. I just felt normal- like me as always. I guess I'd just assumed that chakra was a thing that would happen for me later. But Jin-sensei was right. I should've 'felt' something by now. All the other kids seemed to know what she was talking about after all.

"I don't know. I don't feel any different than I did this morning" I said. Jin-sensei didn't seem pleased with that answer.

"Well you passed your Academy Entrance exam. That means that you should be able to do this," she frowned. "You must not be very in tune with your energy."

"How do I fix that?" I asked.

"It's hard to say. You're younger than most of your peers. That could be it too. Maybe you just weren't ready to work with your chakra at all yet. Everyone's different though, so this activity just might not have been a good learning exercise for you," she explained. She was staring at me like I was some sort of weirdly shaped puzzle. It wasn't very encouraging. "Try sitting down in a meditation pose. Spend a lot of extra time with the dog seal gathering your chakra here. Don't move onto the boar seal unless you really thing you can feel it. If you don't figure it out by the end of the day, I'll try and think of something different you can try. Okay?"

I nodded, though I was grossly unsatisfied with her solution.

The lesson ended that day, and I still hadn't been able to achieve a single thing. It was awfully disappointing. I wanted to be ninja! But after today, I was suddenly questioning whether there was something wrong with me again. Was it because of more reincarnation bullshit? Did I have some sort of rare anti-chakra disease that didn't show up on the entrance exam? I don't know. Maybe I was just being melodramatic. Kakashi was really the only other kid who'd been able to do the jutsu successfully. It's just that I was the only one who wasn't able to do anything at all.

It sucked.

But yeah. That's where I was in life now. Tsunade was back, but she wasn't happy. I'd finally gotten to try out a jutsu, and learned that I was no good at it. Just great. Nothing was ever easy was it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, another very very long update time. But I'm here now! Hopefully you like this chapter. I had some writers block trying to get it onto paper, and it's actually missing a scene that I wanted in here. I decided to push it to the next chapter instead 'cause I figured y'all would prefer an update sooner rather than later. But yeah, hopefully school will calm down a little and I'll be able to get the next update to you sooner. 
> 
> Until next time,
> 
> Aule


	11. Diet Soda Society: Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arc Title and Chapter Quote from song Diet Soda Society by The Maine

**Diet Soda Society**

_" _My mind is on the brink of supernova"__

* * *

 

Nothing was going right. Maybe I was just being dramatic because I had been so good at everything before now, but damnit, why couldn't I be good at chakra? I came back from school the day we'd tried the transformation jutsu in a dismal mood. Tsunade, who had been picking me up from the Academy in the afternoons now, shrugged me off when I'd told her about it. She was too distant these days to help me with much.

Thankfully, Biwako listened to me though. Turning her hands blue, my surrogate mother pressed her palm to my stomach.

"You've got plenty of chakra," she told me, always with the matter-of-fact tone. "Your mindset must be the issue."

That had been exactly what Jin-sensei had said, but I still didn't see how that could be the problem. I'd never been more focused on achieving something before in my life. I spent the rest of the night in a meditation pose, going through the hand signs for the transformation jutsu to no avail. I was at a complete loss.

Feel your chakra Natsuki, I told myself, but there was nothing there to feel. When I closed my eyes to try and reach for it, I felt stupid. It was so frustrating. Even Asuma knew better than to tease me about it, and he was usually the first to jump on opportunities like this.

When I went to school the next day, Jin-sensei had a new exercise for me to try during lunch time. She'd found a box of chakra paper, and handed it to me. "Do you know what this is?" she asked. I did, of course.

"It tells you what your nature alignment is. You channel chakra into it and then it'll either get wet, turn to dust, crumple, burn, or get cut in half," I recited from memory. I could still remember the day Nawaki had come running home to tell me he had earth release chakra several years back. I had spent the following few weeks doing my reading on it.

"Right," Jin-sensei nodded. She took out a piece of paper and held it between her fingers. It ignited, slowly burning into ash.

"I'm not ready to learn nature transformations though," I told her, feeling a twinge of jealousy in my stomach. "I can't even do the transformation jutsu correctly."

"Try and think a little creatively," Jin-sensei shook her head. "Chakra paper only activates if it comes in contact with your chakra, right? That means that you'll have to gather and release some of it from your finger tips in order for anything to happen. It's also very sensitive. You won't need to expel even a tenth of what you'd need for the transformation jutsu for the paper to work. It'll also tell us your nature alignment, true, but for now let's use it to pinpoint exactly what your control issues are."

She handed me a fresh piece of paper, and I took it tentatively. Closing my eyes, I tried to imagine my chakra balling in my stomach and bursting out through my hand. Just like before, nothing happened.

Jin-sensei frowned.

"Make half a Ram's seal when you try," she said.

I nodded, and followed her instructions. Once again, there was nothing.

"This might just take some time," Jin-sensei sighed. I could tell she had been hoping this would be our fix-all. It must have really been strange for someone to fail completely with the chakra exercises. She had really been hoping to just use this as a benchmark for bigger things. Guess I was disappointing more people than just myself these days.

We spent the rest of lunch time sitting there while my classmates played in the yard. I think I must've tried a hundred times over to get something to work, but there was just nothing. The following hour, we had another lesson on the transformation jutsu. I spent most of that time in meditation with a piece of chakra paper between my palms. The day ended with absolutely no progress.

I dragged my feet leaving the Academy that day. Unlike me, Asuma had found some success that day, and I didn't want to have to tell Biwako that I'd failed again. On my way out though, I happened to bump into Guy doing pull ups on one of the Academy door frames. How he'd gotten up to the top of the frame without some sort of stepping stool was beyond me, but I felt inexplicably happy to see him. Knowing that I was probably going to harbor a million regrets about this later, a crazy idea popped into my head.

"Hey Guy-kun," I paused.

"Fifty thr- oh hi Natsuki-chan!" he said looking over his shoulder. "One moment please, I need to get to one hundred before I take a break."

I waited as he pulled his little body up and down forty-seven more times. Towards the end you could see that he was getting worn out. His little arms were shaking badly, and sweat was rolling down the back of his neck. Nothing was going to stop Guy during a work out though. I had a feeling that this was just a mid-day warm up too. Usually when he set his rep goals in the 500 range.

Finally he finished his last pull up and dropped down to the ground beside me.

"Because I was able to do 100 pull ups, now I'll only do 200 laps," he grinned at me with a signature thumbs up. "I'm getting stronger every day."

"Yeah," I scratched the back of my head. "About that. I was wondering if maybe I could tag along one of your work outs some time?"

The smile on Guy's face bloomed instantly. He looked like I'd asked him to be in my wedding ceremony or something. "Of course Natsuki-chan! My Dad says the springtime of youth is always better with a friend. We can push ourselves to be stronger together," he said enthusiastically.

"Um, great," I smiled weakly. If I couldn't be good at chakra, then I might as well invest in my strengths. From the beginning I'd never wanted to become a tai-jutsu specialist, but that didn't mean it was beneath me. I was going to get that headband one way or another. If training with Guy was my only option, I'd train with Guy. "Let's start tomorrow."

"I look forward to it!" he grinned.

I nodded continued on to go find Asuma and Tsunade.

The next two weeks were a little bit better than the previous ones. Not much changed when it came to chakra training, but I've got to say, deciding to train with Guy turned out to be a better idea than I'd ever imagined. Even in a village of crazy ninja, I've never met someone who pushed themselves harder than Maito Guy. He was constantly tacking on extra exercises to his work outs- going the extra mile, literally.

When I started hanging out with him after school, I felt the consequences immediately. It was like my entire body was rebelling against me. I used to think training with Asuma was bad, but boy was I wrong. The day after my first foray into Guy's daily routine, every muscle and ligament of my being ached. Asuma teased me about it the entire day, making a point to poke and elbow me every now and then because I was too achey to fight back.

As the days started to pass though, I got used to the soreness in my joints. In fact, it actually felt strangely good to wake up and find some new part of me had started to hurt. It was like I could feel my body starting to grow so much stronger, just from a few days of this. With the struggles I was having with my chakra, feeling like I was making progress, even in another area, was suddenly everything.

So I started falling into a new routine. In the morning, I'd go to school with Asuma. After school, I'd train with Guy. When the work out was over, Tsunade would pick me up and we'd go back to my house for dinner. Then I'd spend the last few hours of the night reading a book or playing a game with the boys. Weekends, meanwhile, became my rest days. I spent them with my family, only carving out an hour or two for stretching and recovery work.

Interestingly enough, Guy of all people was adamant that I make sure I didn't overdo things.

"Youth is most beautiful when it's healthy," he told me sagely during our first training session. "When you change your training schedule, you have to make sure you have a rest day for the first few weeks."

He was hinting at a future where there was no rest, of course. But still, I'd take what I could get for now. I'd always enjoyed my weekends before. It would be nice to keep some things the same.

Although, I guess change is unavoidable sometimes.

"Nat, come walk with me, I want to talk with you," Tsunade poked her head into the living room.

Like I said, weekends were my rest days - and that one was no different. It had been a normal Saturday morning up until Tsunade's surprise visit. I had gotten up, done some stretches, and eventually found myself on the couch with a book while Asuma played on the floor. It was unusual for Tsunade to come over randomly like this though. Recently she'd been spending more and more time holed up in her house. Outside of her daily excursions during the week to pick me up from school, I only got to see her if I sought her out.

I'm not going to lie. She was really starting to worry me. As the days rolled by, there was no improvement to her mood or attitude. Lord knows that Shizune and I tried to keep her engaged, but there was only so much the two of us could do. She looked at both of us like we were children who didn't understand.

Today was different though. For once, my cousin looked present. There was color in her cheeks, and her eyes were looking at me, not off into the distance. I wouldn't say that she looked happy necessarily, but there was an air of content around her. It was an abrupt change from the unresponsive ghost she'd been the past few weeks.

"Alright," I nodded.

She led me outside and down the street. I waited for her to start the conversation, but she didn't. Instead we walked in a peaceful silence that seemed to fit the mood of the day. The sun was out and there was a calm over the village that reminded me of the good old days before the war. The impatient part of me desperately wanted to know what Tsunade was up to, but suddenly, I didn't want to disrupt the moment.

Eventually, we wound up in an outer part of the village, close to some of the ninja training grounds. Tsunade had us turn onto a side street, leading us towards a small wooden bench that overlooked one of Konoha's various parks. It was rather secluded- a place we could talk without worrying about any sort of disruption.

"Sit for a minute?" Tsunade nodded towards the bench. Wordlessly, I pulled myself up onto the seat, while she plopped down beside me. Her eyes were staring out towards the field, as if she could see something there that I couldn't.

"I used to have picnics here with your parents," Tsunade said suddenly. I looked at her and blinked. I didn't know what I was expecting from her, but this wasn't it. "It was right after they started dating, and your dad wanted to show her that he was serious or something mushy like that. He would always make a big basket full of food, and we'd sit while Nawaki ran around in the grass. He was smaller than you back then. My parents were alive back then too, and they'd tease Kojirama and Mura that they needed to get used to chasing toddlers around. We went every Sunday." She shook her head and closed her eyes.

"Like we always used to go to the park on Sundays?" I asked quietly. She nodded, and for a brief moment, I thought I could see the ghost of every person Tsunade had ever lost in the shadows of her face. I had been so focused on Nawaki and Dan that I'd forgotten Tsunade had been born when the Senju clan had still been at large. The first Hokage had been her grandfather. She'd known him, his wife, her parents. She'd known Tobirama, and his children, and his children's children. There'd been others too. I'd read books about a Senju clan that had been so big it could've populated a quarter of the village all by itself.

All of them were dead now though. Tsunade had seen them all die in her short life. That's why Nawaki had been so important to her, because he'd been the last of that part of her family. He'd been someone to share that burden with her. Dan too. He'd understood her so well that she was going to make him family.

Tsunade was the opposite of me, I realized. I had left everything I knew behind when I'd died. I got to start over in a new life, knowing that my family was out there somewhere learning to move on without me. Tsunade had been the one left behind though, by absolutely everyone she'd ever cared about. There was no comfortable knowledge that they were all okay somewhere just beyond her reach. She was just simply alone. I stared at her for a moment, and then looked at the park again.

"You're leaving aren't you?" I said, feeling my voice crack. I'd been worried about this, but I didn't think it'd happen so soon. She'd been back for what, two weeks, three maybe? I hadn't really had any time with her at all.

Tsunade opened her mouth, surprised. "I- uh. Yeah, I am."

"Ah."

I didn't know what to say. I had thought that maybe if I'd been able to fill all the gaps in Tsunade's heart, that she'd be happy again and would stay. There were too many holes to fill though. I wasn't enough.

"It won't be forever," Tsunade said, sounding guilty. "I'll stop by and visit whenever I'm in the area. I just. I can't stay here anymore Nat. You'll understand one day... Everywhere I go reminds me of people that I lost. It hurts, in here." Her hand went to her necklace. She was crying.

"Where will you go?" I asked sullenly.

"I don't know. Everywhere?" she answered with a shrug. "I've always wanted to travel, you know. It was my dream to see all sorts of different towns and villages." She smiled, just talking about it. "I want to try dango for you from every nation. Sarutobi-sensei's already given me permission and everything."

"Well... what if I came along with you too?" I asked impulsively. "You can't go see everything all by yourself. I could keep you company, and we can go to a new park every Sunday, just like before and-"

Tsunade leaned forward and kissed my forehead suddenly. "You don't actually mean that kiddo," she smiled. "If you came with me, you'd have to say goodbye to Asuma and Isamu and Biwako. You wouldn't be able to become a ninja. You wouldn't be happy. You belong here, okay?"

"But you can't go alone," I muttered, knowing in my heart that she was right.

"I won't be," she snorted. "That Shizune is insisting that she tag along. She said I need somebody to take care of me out there. She... she lost a lot in the last war too. I don't think I'm going to be able to convince her to stay."

"Oh..." I said.

We sat in silence for a few more minutes after that. My eyes were pinned to my feet while my stomach felt like it was swirling in knots. Tsunade was watching me silently. She seemed like she might've been guilty for this, but at the same time, she wasn't going to change her mind. She felt trapped here in the village. Now that the thought of freedom was stuck in her head, nothing would keep her from it.

"Come on," she said after a few minutes of that. "I'm going to take you out for dinner. Then we'll hit up the book store. Okay?"

I nodded, numbly, and started following her back towards the village center. The rest of the evening drifted by like a dream. We went through the motions of a normal afternoon, but everything felt so final. When we walked into her favorite ramen store, I realized that it wouldn't be the same dining there without her. Stopping by the park almost felt like an empty gesture without Asuma and Nawaki there with us. Even the book store didn't cheer me up much. All I could think about was how my little bubble of perfection here in Konoha hadn't lasted very long. Nawaki was gone and now Tsunade was leaving me.

Why couldn't I have done more?

Two days later, I found myself standing outside of the Konoha gate with Hiruzen, Biwako, Orochimaru, and the boys. Tsunade and Shizune were waving as they walked further and further down the road, off to run away from their grief. Hiruzen and Biwako actually didn't seem to be in that poor of spirits seeing them off. Interestingly enough, Orochimaru and I were probably sour enough for the whole lot of us.

"Try and be happy for her Natsuki-chan. This is what she wanted," Hiruzen said as I rested my head on his shoulder. I hadn't cried during our goodbyes, but I definitely felt close. If Hiruzen wasn't holding me right now, I might've actually felt like breaking.

On his other side, Orochimaru let out a disgusted snort - though he didn't say anything. Hiruzen shot him a look, and they exchanged something silently.

"I'm going back to work sensei," Orochimaru said suddenly before sweeping down the road. Hiruzen watched him carefully as he left, but quickly turned back to me. I was too emotionally exhausted to worry about the exchange.

"When you see her next, she'll be happier. Trust me," he said quietly. "Sometimes the best healing for someone like Tsunade is a bit of fresh air."

I nodded, and tried to listen to him. Maybe he was right and my sulking was purely selfish. Guess it didn't matter in the end though - she was gone either way.

Tsunade leaving felt like an important turning point in my life. It was like the end of a chapter filled with war and pain and loss. The minute she exited the gates of the village, life really could truly fall back into routine. There was no more urgent change looming on the horizon, no constant worry about friends not returning home and family not being okay.

I didn't feel like quite the same person that I'd been when I had first woken up in this world anymore, and I wasn't quite sure what that meant. The one thing I did know for sure was that my days of being the helpless were finally numbered. The next time the world turned on it's head, I wasn't going to be confined to a hospital bed or a crib. I was going to be able to do something about it.

With that knowledge in my back pocket, I forged forwards.

Biwako was finally settling into a somewhat normal schedule. She worked at the hospital in the way my mother worked in the office everyday. She'd get up in the morning to take us to school and be back home for dinner. Hiruzen also started to be more present at home - or at least he was around in the same quantity that he used to be before the war. The village was done with the war time schedule once and for all.

Asuma could finally be pissy about his Hokage father missing dinner again. Somehow I found his moodiness over this nonsense more endearing than I ever had before.

Meanwhile, you could see a stark shift in the way the two of us were being treated. The house didn't revolve around our wants and needs like it once did. Chores that belonged to Isamu a life time ago were suddenly hand down to us that now that he was taking missions on a regular basis, and while Asuma whined about it incessantly, I didn't think it was so bad. With the added responsibility also came a great deal of freedom. We were now allowed to come and go as we wanted, as long as either Biwako or Isamu was kept updated on our location.

To Asuma, that meant we could go and play with our friends from the Academy whenever we wanted. To me, it meant a good deal more. I could more or less get permission to go anywhere with the excuse of doing some sort of "training" exercise. Half the time, of course I was being honest there - Guy and I took no breaks- but I usually stayed out longer than was actually necessary when I could. I finally got to explore the village without a babysitter. It almost made me feel like half an adult again, finally being able to be completely alone with my thoughts. Long winding walks through the Konoha streets became a regular habit for me.

Most of the time, these walks were rather uneventful. Just me taking some time to enjoy the peace of the day. Every now and then though, I'd happen upon something half interesting though. One particular day, for instance, I was taking the long way home from an evening of running with Guy when I turned the corner and noticed a bulky figure laying in the grass.

It was an odd place to run into somebody. Guy and I had raced pretty far into the outskirts of the village during our work out, and I was taking a pretty secluded path back home. Maybe if I'd walked past someone on the road I would've thought nothing of it. Given that the man was just sprawled out on the hillside though, my curiosity had idly been peaked.

Pausing, I stared at him for a moment. A few things were immediately obvious. For one, I'd happened upon a ninja, probably jonin in rank. He was wearing a traditional flak jacket and Konoha blues, though he had a white sleeve with red spiked trim poking out from his left shoulder side. Second, I think I recognized him. His hair was the same color white as mine, and longer too. It was pulled back into a spiky pony tail that was frayed out above his head. His mouth had deep lines around it, and the bags underneath his eyes were noticeable. If I had to guess I'd say he was probably about thirty? Maybe thirty five?

Lastly, something was clearly off with him. His dark eyes were staring up at the clouds almost lethargically. It was like he wasn't there in the grass at all, but off somewhere else instead. The breeze was gently disturbing the grass around him, yet he could have been dead he was lying so still. Looking at him made me feel inexplicably sad, and I suddenly felt like I was intruding on his privacy. Yet at the same time, I couldn't move my feet to leave him in peace.

I resolved after a moments deliberation that I needed to check on him. It just seemed the right thing for me to do.

"Um, excuse me sir, are you alright?" I asked tentatively.

The man didn't move right away, but the minute he heard my voice, it was like his entire being came to life. The ghostly look vanished all at once as he buried whatever emotion he'd been feeling almost like a reflex. I might have brushed off the moment for some trick of my imagination if not for a nagging feeling in my gut.

"Mm, yes, I'm sorry. Just cloud watching," he said, sitting all the way up. Once he was half vertical, I realized almost immediately who I was talking to.

"You're Kakashi's father!" I exclaimed suddenly. I don't know how I could have missed it. He was literally the spitting image of my classmate. In fact, I think I'd seen him picking up Kakashi a few times from the Academy.

The surprise lasted for all of ten seconds before quickly transitioning to something to the effect of "oh shit".

Let's think about timing okay? The war was over, Tsunade had just left the village, Kakashi was in the Academy, and I'd just caught the village's favorite scapegoat looking unusually sullen in a grassy field. My stomach twisted as I looked at the man like a deer in the headlights. What are you supposed to say to someone you know is probably suicidal?

"Yeah I am. Are you in Kakashi's class? I don't think we've met," Sakumo blinked at me. Whatever he'd been thinking about a moment before was seemingly gone from his mind. There really wasn't a trace of sadness left on his face. Then again, ninja were notoriously good at covering up their emotions. If he was suffering with depression, I'm sure he'd make a point to ensure nobody knew about it. I could almost imagine the loneliness he was probably feeling.

"Oh yeah sorry, my name is Natsuki Senju, it's nice to meet you Hatake-san," I corrected myself quickly, giving him a respectful bow. I had to make sure I was following all my formalities correctly. Otherwise Biwako wouldn't have been happy with me.

"Please call me Sakumo-san," he gave me a warm smile. "It's always nice to meet a friend of my son's."

"Oh well, I don't know if we're great friends or anything," I rubbed my arm awkwardly with a shrug. "I just, uh... You were the captain of my cousin Nawaki's unit during the war." Shit, I didn't even know where that came from. The thought just came out of my mouth the minute it popped into my mind. It was true of course, I think Biwako had been the one to tell me just after he had been deployed. Sakumo didn't need to know that though. He probably had enough on his conscious without me reminding him of another comrade he had failed to save.

Sure enough, I don't think the mighty White Fang had been expecting that either. He shifted awkwardly in the grass, looking like he suddenly didn't want to be having this conversation. I had opened the door though. I needed to make sure that I didn't make things any worse.

"Nawaki Senju, right? He died in action?" Sakumo mumbled quietly. I nodded.

"Yeah," I swallowed. "He was really proud to be working under you, and my Tsunade-nee was really happy that you were watching over him too. She said you cared the most of all the captains about keeping your team safe."

"Well, that's part of a ninjas job," Sakumo said, he seemed kind of distant again. We were teetering around the elephant in the room- the infamous failed mission, Sakumo's chance to end the war that he sacrificed to save comrades in need. I thought back to the Academy, about how Kakashi isolated himself from the rest of us, and about how the civilian kids would say mean things underneath their breath. The village had made their opinions of Sakumo's deeds clear. They were even taking it out on his only son.

I couldn't fix that. In fact, I probably wasn't going to make much of a difference here at all, but I wanted to leave this conversation having told Sakumo my thoughts. The ninja system is the wrong one, not your judgment.

"It's their whole job," I shook my head, suddenly feeling determined. I wanted to convey this message right. "I want to be the type of shinobi that saves my friends just like you." For a moment, something flashed across his face. It was brief and fleeting. I almost didn't catch it at all, but I hoped it was gratitude.

"Well, thank you I guess," Sakumo said with a small smile. "I'm sorry for your cousin and your loss."

"He would've been happy to see the village was safe now," I shrugged. Sakumo looked at me for another moment. I'm not quite sure what he thought he was seeing.

"You should probably be heading home," he said gently. "It's getting late. Someone will start wondering where you are."

I nodded. He was probably right.

"Well you should probably start heading home soon too Sakumo-san. I'm sure Kakashi-kun will be missing you. Cloud watching isn't very interesting anyhow," I replied, trying to lighten the mood a little bit before I made my exit.

I spent the rest of the walk home preoccupied with thoughts of Sakumo, Tsunade, and the war. Just reflecting on everything that'd happened. It really was a strange encounter to find the White Fang hanging around in the grass, but I guess I was leading a strange life now. It was almost too much to contemplate it all at once. Some days I wished that some cosmic force would just come down and give me an explanation. What cruel joke were the powers at be playing at by putting me in situations like this? I was too small to handle all of this worlds grief and issues on my shoulders.

Nobody was going to show up and hand me a road map though, and thinking about my place in this world was going to get me nowhere. By the end of the evening, I had put it all out of my mind and was working on the small things once again.

I still needed to figure out a work around for my persistent chakra problems, and trust me, that one problem alone was enough to keep a girl plenty occupied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New update for you all. This chapter was kind of long, but I got it out relatively quickly so that's a plus. I promise things are going to start looking a bit cheerier in the next few chapters haha. The last few have been kind of dark. Anywho, this is the end of the Second Shinobi War Arc (Bye Tsunade), and we'll be looking at a change of pace in the next few chapters for different reasons as well.
> 
> Until next time,
> 
> Aule.


	12. Our Own House: Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arc Title and Chapter quote from the song Our Own House by the MisterWives

**Our Own House**

"Came in like the breeze, I felt it in my knees. Never will it leave, Each day it is retrieved"

* * *

 

A new year in the Academy always meant new classmates. Even though Konoha had fully adjusted back into peace mode, we were still dealing with the impact of the war. All of the casualties meant Konoha's military force was still tragically understaffed, and the only way to bolster it was to push kids through the Academy. Fast.

The average graduation age had dropped dramatically over the past few years. These days twelve was a more common age for a newly minted chunin than an academy graduate. I think most new ninjas might even have been as young as 9. When you thought of it that way, I didn't have too much longer as an Academy scrub.

Anyways as I was saying, every graduation exam they held meant some sort of class restructure for the rest of us. Kids who failed needed to be placed in lower classes, and if there wasn't room in the lower classes, they would make room by moving struggling students down a year as well. For the most part, my class hadn't been touched too much by the constant circulation of students. Most of the kids who were pushed back were civilians coming from families who'd never raised a ninja, and they mostly avoided clan kids like me.

Most of the people I interacted with on a day to day basis weren't going anywhere. This year was a little bit different though I suppose. See, this was the first year that Jin-sensei had walked into our classroom and offered us the chance to take the graduation exam ourselves.

"What? We can graduate?" Obito blurted out stunned when she made an announcement.

Jin-sensei smirked. "I said you could try Obito-kun. Most likely none of you will pass just yet. You need to have mastery of the transformation jutsu and the clone jutsu. Plus you'll have to pass a written exam and a taijutsu demonstration exercise. I didn't want to offer it to you all just yet, but Hokage-sama insisted. He said it'd be good practice for you all for the next few years."

"She thinks we aren't good enough," Asuma muttered under his breath, clearly insulted.

I sighed. There was no question in my mind that I wasn't good enough. Not yet anyways. I'd probably ace the written exam and maybe get a satisfactory in the taijutsu demonstration, but I still couldn't use my chakra. Biwako had run at least fifteen different medical tests on me at home over the past year, and I'd passed every single one of them. At one point she'd even brought in a friend with the Byakugan, and still we found nothing. With no idea what my problem was, my training efforts were getting me nowhere.

Yeah, I wasn't winning any headband today.

"You can't do clone jutsu yet Asuma, plus you're awful with the written stuff," I elbowed him. "She's just being honest."

He made a face at me, but I could see it in his eyes. He knew I was right. Bicker as we might, Asuma respected my judgment. Most of the time.

"Alright, who wants to take the exam?" Jin-sensei asked, waving her clip board at us.

Immediately half the class raised their hands. I looked around, taking inventory- Kumade, Asuma, Obito, Guy, Kakashi, and surprisingly Kurenai were the only people of note that would be participating.

"See you in a few," I smiled at Asuma, teasing. He stuck his tongue out at me, but didn't seem too upset.

"Hey, she said it'd be good practice," he said, crossing his arms at me. "Anyways I don't want to graduate just yet. We've got to go at the same time Nat, so you better hurry up and learn some jutsu 'cause you're holding me back."

I crinkled my nose and gave him a light shove.

"Just keep telling yourself that," I retorted, feeling equally touched and disappointed at the same time.

I'm trying to learn Asuma, I thought to myself.

An hour of independent-study later and Jin-sensei came walking back in with almost everyone in tow. I counted them all, taking inventory. Obito and Kumade were both back, looking upset; Kurenai and Asuma strolled back up to our seats in the back, mostly unperturbed; and Gai walked back to his seat on his hands - I'm sure I'd be feeling the punishment of his failure later during our daily work out. The ten or so civilian kids who took the test were also back.

That meant that almost everyone was accounted for...

"It wasn't so bad," Asuma told me as he slid back into his seat.

"Says the kid who failed," I smiled.

"It was the clone jutsu," he groaned, rolling his eyes. "And the written test. There was some math on there we haven't learned yet. It wasn't fair."

"Jin-sensei said I almost passed the written part anyways," Kurenai beamed at the two of us. "It's like the Hokage-sama said though. Taking it was good practice."

"Where's Kakashi?" I asked tentatively, looking down at the one empty seat on the left side of the classroom.

"Kakashi-kun passed. Jin-sensei was very impressed and said he was going to be a splendid ninja," Guy said, turning around in his seat to answer me. I exchanged a look with Asuma, who just shrugged. I guess I should've been expecting as much- I knew Kakashi was supposed to graduate pretty early.

Guess that would be the last of the little white-haired grumpy squirt that I'd be seeing for quite some time.

Up in the front of the room, Jin-sensei was ushering in some new kids now. I turned to look at them with moderate interest. There were three of them in total - all boys. The first two were both older, and must've been dropping down from the class ahead of us. One of these two looked none too pleased to be joining our small group of rugrats. He was wearing dark circular sunglasses, so I couldn't see his eyes. Yet I felt like he was glaring at us all nonetheless.

The other one, beside glasses kid seemed to be the exact opposite. His relaxed expression was completely apathetic to the room full of seven year olds that was staring at him. He had a piece of straw in his mouth, and a jacket two sizes too large resting on his shoulders. The kid couldn't seem more unbothered by the world.

Finally that brings us to the last newcomer. The third boy was maybe three feet tall with black hair that curled around his temples and big dark eyes. He was way too small to be coming down from the older classes. In fact, he had to be at least a year younger than me, and I was already the baby of the group. He was an Uchiha too if I'd ever seen one. If his features weren't a dead give away, then the blue wide necked t-shirt that hung on his skinny shoulders was.

Glancing over at Obito, I saw that our resident klutz looked less than happy to see the younger kid here.

"Alright everyone, my condolences to those of you who had trouble with the graduation exam. Better luck next time," Jin-sensei tapped her clip board, looking almost amused. "Anyways, I have three new classmates to introduce to you. Boys would you like to do the honors?"

"I'm Ebisu Date," the first grumbled.

"Genma Shirinai," the second shrugged.

"Hi, my name is Shiusui Uchiha," the third waved happily.

"Hi it's nice to meet you," the class chorused in response.

Jin-sensei smirked. "Alright, very good. Now go find seats boys and we can get on with the day."

I was of course, thoroughly distracted now though. I watched as Ebisu and Genma sat down next to each other up front while Shisui hopped back to take a seat by Obito.

"Hi Obito-kun, can I sit here?" he smiled.

"I guess," the older boy shrugged. Shisui grinned, seemingly oblivious to Obito's scowl. Geez, what was Obito's problem? I'd never seen him be rude to so much as a fly before. Part of me wanted to make a mental note to yell at him later during lunch or something, but I knew I wasn't going to do that.

I still tried to stay away from Obito when I could, and it only took a second glance at Shisui to know he was also going to be on my avoid-at-all-costs-list. Somewhere in the back of my mind I could see an older version of him, crying tears of blood and holding his fist outstretched closed around his remaining eye.

Shisui's entire life was going to be filled with tragedy, and as always, I felt I had enough problems without having to bear his burdens too.

* * *

There was always some good things that came with new classmates. Namely, it meant new training partners. After three years of training with the same people, you reach a point where you know their quirks and they know yours. For example, when I sparred with Asuma, he knew to always exploit his size over me. If I ever seemed to be winning too much, he'd start absorbing my punches to trap me at too close a range, and despite my many efforts, I hadn't found a way to outsmart his brutish strategy.

Ever since I'd started training with Guy though, I'd been improving a lot. I might have been tiny, but I was strong. I could lift weights four times my size, punch through cinderblock, and jump fifteen feet into the air all by myself. Talking as someone who knew what it was like to live in a sub-par normal body, the things I could do right now as a child were incredible.

Yet somehow, I felt like it wasn't quite enough. With Kakashi gone, I should've been top of the class without a problem; however, while I was the clear front runner with all the written material, I felt like physically my classmates were always exploiting my weaknesses.

This was never clearer than during our taijutsu training session the day Genma, Ebisu, and Shisui joined our class.

"Alright everyone find a partner and get going - remember pairs have to be different from last time," Jin-sensei told us. People immediately started splitting off into familiar groups.

If we had been following normal patterns, I would've been sparring with Guy today, as I'd fought Asuma during our last session. I'd fought Guy a million times though, there was no point in doing it again when we had some new meat to try out.

"Oi, you two," I grinned pointing at Genma and Ebisu. "Will one of you fight with me?"

Ebisu crossed his arms, looking annoyed. "Who do you think-" he started.

Genma cut him off with smirk.

"Sure kid," he said, picking the piece of straw out of his mouth and dropping it onto the ground.

"Wha- Genma!" Ebisu protested.

"Come on man, it's fine. That kid in the green looks like he needs a partner.," Genma shrugged, pointing at Guy who must've been off behind me. "Anyways, I've heard of this kid. I want to see if she's as good as everyone says."

"You've heard of me?" I blinked, pleased with that.

"Sure, Tsunade-hime's sister or something right? But can't use an ounce of chakra? Am I close?" he raised an eyebrow.

The moment of satisfaction passed almost immediately. Of course, of all things to be known for - it'd be that. Nobody cared that I excelled in literally every other subject. It was always about the chakra problem.

"Guess that's me yeah," I sighed, falling into the ready position.

"Well let's see if your half as good as your reputation," Genma nodded.

"Fine, we'll play with the children then," Ebisu grumbled, stalking off towards Guy. My eyes followed him for a moment as he walked away, before returning to Genma.

"He's just upset about the graduation test," Genma explained. "They wouldn't let him take it because one of our classmates framed him for writing graffiti in the alley last week. Ready?"

I nodded and he made the confrontation seal, as we were always supposed to do before we sparred.

"What about you then? Hopefully it wasn't your taijutsu that was the problem," I asked, as he returned the seal.

With little warning, he closed the gap between us, immediately on the offensive. Spinning around, he threw all his weight into a twist, aiming his elbow for my gut. I ducked, maneuvering under him, and bringing my knee up. He was fast though. The moment he realized I was dodging, he swung his own foot around, stepping squarely on my incoming knee, and flipping backwards.

He grinned.

"Nah, I fell asleep during the written test," he shrugged. "It was my bad. Stayed up too late last night with my Dad."

I blinked at him. Who just decides to take a nap during an exam? Did he want to be in the Academy forever? Genma seemed unperturbed despite my shock. He raised his hand up and made a hand sign that said: Come get me.

Without anymore chit chat, we went at each other. I initiated this time, throwing a simple punch forward, he caught it, trying to pin me in place while he retaliated with his foot. I flipped forwards to miss his kick, while also trying to catch him in the face with my free arm. I couldn't quite reach though and ended up redirecting towards his bicep instead. He released my arm with a yelp.

Before I had time to recover completely from the first bought, he was leaping towards me again. He sent a kick forward, followed by a punch. He was too fast to dodge this time, so I was forced to block. A small grunt escaped my lips as his foot collided with my forearm. I could see him grinning as I grabbed the leg I'd just caught and tried to flip him over my shoulder. He caught himself on the ground with his palms, almost in a push up stance. Then came his other foot, hitting me square in the back.

I stumbled forward, recovering just before my momentum made me face plant. Spinning around, I saw that Genma was brushing some dirt off of his baggy jacket. He must've fallen after he'd landed his kick.

"You're not too bad," he told me. "But you're too small. A strong punch only works if you can reach your target" He pounded his chest, and I scowled. We spent the next twenty minutes in an intense back and forth. A pattern quickly emerged between us. I'd land a hit on an arm or a leg, then he'd somehow manage to retaliate immediately afterwards with something just a bit stronger. In order to hit him, I had to get too close. Any success I had made me vulnerable, and I walked away from every exchange just a little worse off.

By the end of the session, we were both out of breath and a bit banged up. Genma seemed to have enjoyed himself thoroughly.

Holding out his hand, we made the reconciliation seal, and he helped me up to my feet from the place on the ground that I'd fallen.

"That last one was close," he said with a smile, as he pulled a new piece of straw out of his pocket and bit down on it.

"Not close enough," I groaned.

"Have you ever tried some sort of bukijutsu before?" he asked me.

"Bukijutsu?"

"Yeah, you know, weapons jutsu. Like swords or spears or something," he explained. "I'm working on using senbon, but that might be no good for you. You're really pretty good with the close range fighting, but a weapon might help give you a little extra reach."

"I've never thought about that before," I muttered, picturing myself wielding a sword like some sort of samurai. It wasn't such a bad idea. I'd have to find a decent teacher though, and that could be a task. Vaguely I wondered if there was someone in the Sarutobi clan who wouldn't mind helping me out.

"Well, it's just a thought. Fight again next time?" he offered.

"Yeah sure," I nodded with a smile, and with that I branched back over to see how Asuma's spar had gone.

* * *

I'm sure by now you've heard enough of my complaining about my chakra shenanigans, or lack there of. You know how badly I wanted to be good at jutsu, and you know how badly I was taking the skill deficiency. I don't need to elaborate on it much more.

Nonetheless, it doesn't change the fact that a good part of my life revolved around unsuccessful chakra training. I spent an hour in meditation every night hoping that one day, something would just click.

Nothing ever did work. That is, until one late night in October, a few weeks after Genma, Ebisu, and Shisui had joined our class. It was the middle of the work week, and the house was unusually quiet. Asuma was doing homework in the dining room, Biwako had taken a night shift, and Hiruzen was off doing Hokage things. Isamu, meanwhile, was supposed to be out of the village on an escort mission with his genin team.

I probably should have been calling it a night as well after my long day of training with Guy, but I couldn't fall asleep until I'd given chakra its daily go.

I was playing with the leaf exercise that night. If I could focus chakra onto my forehead, I'd theoretically be able to stick a leaf to it. Like always, I was having no success with it. It'd probably been about a half hour of training, and the leaf was starting to look a little withered from my frustrated attempts to pin it to my forehead. Honestly, I probably was going to give up soon.

Just before I formally threw in the towel for the night, I heard the sound of the front door creak open drift through the wall.

"Isamu-nii!" Asuma's voice disrupted the quiet of the night.

"Hey, shouldn't you be asleep?" Isamu replied in a forced whisper.

With a small smile, I hopped to my feet and poked my head into the hallway. To my surprise, I found that Isamu wasn't alone. My foster older brother had his two teammates behind him - Raido and Tonbo. All three of them looked pretty down trodden. Isamu's grey long sleeve had a few holes in it, revealing the mesh armor he usually kept underneath, and he had dirt smeared all over his cheek. They seemed well enough, however. No serious injuries and what not. I'd say they even had a certain post-mission glow about them.

I guess things must have gone well.

"You don't have to whisper, nobody else is asleep," I informed him. "Biwako-san and Hiruzen-san are out at work."

Isamu sighed, shaking his head, but he didn't scold us any further as I walked over to give him a hug. He caught me dutifully as I launched myself at him and gave me a quick squeeze. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Asuma sticking his tongue out at us. I'd make a hugger out of him one day yet.

"What's everyone doing here?" I asked, waving to Isamu's teammates.

"Raido leant Isamu a scroll and is getting separation anxiety," Tonbo smirked casually. "We had to get it back immediately."

"The house was on the way," Raido protested, rolling his eyes.

I nodded at the two of them. It was always nice when we got a chance to see Raido and Tonbo. They were good teammates to Isamu. Despite any light teasing between Raido and Tonbo, the three of them got along swimmingly. It was a stark contrast to some initial genin team dynamics I remember from the show- team seven being example number one. They just seemed to gel, and Isamu always was happy to be with them.

"Were they the scrolls on chakra control?" Asuma asked. "'Cause Nat stole those while you were away."

"Asuma!" I shot him a look. I wasn't done using them just yet.

Isamu was unperturbed, of course. He really never seemed to mind me borrowing reading material - this was no exception. "Did they help at least?" Isamu asked as he stepped around me to get the scrolls from the study where I had been reading them.

"No," I admitted unhappily. "Still no luck."

"No luck with what?" Tonbo asked curiously. I felt my cheeks go red, not that Isamu's blind teammate could tell. I wasn't exactly fond of talking about my chakra problem.

"I haven't been able to do any jutsu," I explained, kicking at the ground.

"Hm, that's strange, you have a lot of chakra you know," Tonbo wondered aloud. I stared at the bandages that he had wrapped around his eyes for a moment.

Sometimes it was easy to forget, but Tonbo was a prodigy chakra sensor. By all rights, he shouldn't have been allowed to become a ninja, but he had proven ages ago that he didn't need eyes to be able to see just fine. It made sense that Tonbo would be able to "see" my supposed surplus of chakra.

"So I've heard," I shrugged. I didn't need a reminder of all the things I should've been able to do.

"Hey, maybe Tonbo-kun can help you out," Raido spoke up idly, as Isamu returned with his scrolls. "If you're doing something odd with your chakra, he'll know."

"I don't know," Tonbo rubbed the back of his head looking mildly embarrassed. "I'm not much of a sensei."

"Sounds like a good idea to me," Isamu said. "Worst comes to worst, nothing will happen, and it won't be any different from before. What do you think Natsuki-chan?"

"We can try," I said, equally the skeptic. Honestly, I'd learned not to invest too much into far-fetched ideas a long time ago. Jin-sensei and Biwako had tried so many things, it only made the disappointment worse if I believed in them too much.

"Well if you think it will help," Tonbo nodded with a frown.

"Come on," I grabbed Tonbo's hand and dragged him into the study, where my meditation mat was still set up. "I've been trying to do the leaf exercise," I explained. Isamu, Raido, and Asuma stood at the door while I sat down, all watching. Part of me wished they'd go away. I didn't want anyone else to see how much of a failure I was at this.

"Okay, well try it again I guess," Tonbo nodded.

I did as I was told, pushing the leaf to my forehead and concentrating. Counting down in my head, I squeezed my eyes shut. Three. Two. One. I let go of the leaf, and it fluttered down to the ground, my imaginary chakra having no effect.

"Yeah that's about it," I sighed.

Tonbo frowned. "You didn't convert any of your energy to chakra," he said. Kneeling down he pointed towards my stomach. "Your physical energy is here." Then he pointed to my heart. "And your spiritual energy is here. If you want to use jutsu, you need to mix them. Instead you're just kind of swirling them around."

"Everyone keeps telling me that I need to control them, but I don't know what I'm doing wrong," I groaned, frustrated. "It's like I can't feel it. How am I even supposed to know it's there? I don't feel like I have hidden superpowers. I just feel like me. How do you control something you can't even tell is there?" I ran my hand through my hair, frustrated. This was the first time I'd ever voiced exactly what was vexing me aloud, and saying the words had almost made it worse.

I felt hopeless.

But interestingly enough, Tonbo was suddenly smirking.

"Well of course it's not working then," he told me. "You're manipulating your energy right now, you know. They're swirling all over the place because you're angry. Chakra is you, that means it's tied to your feelings and thoughts. It shouldn't feel like a superpower."

"What?" I blinked at him.

"When I was learning to become a sensor, I had a lot of trouble at first because I was looking for some sort of mysterious power. My sensei corrected me on it. He said that looking for someone's chakra isn't about finding their power. It's about finding that person. Your chakra is a reflection of your entire being - and using it is about learning how to pull out parts of yourself you don't normally need and putting them to good use," Tonbo explained. "Try it again."

I obliged putting the leaf to my head, and making half a ram's seal.

"Great, now take all the frustration that you've been having and drop it from your heart to your gut. You should be drawing it from two places, okay? Take the spiritual part as your mind. Like the feelings and emotions your having. And then take the physical part from your body. So like, when you're mad and you want to hit something or you're shaking, that's the energy I'm talking about. Take that and mix them together."

I tried to do as he told me. I took all the anger I'd been feeling and I just let it settle in my gut. I thought about all the failure I'd had, and how easy my classmates made it look. I thought about the other week when Asuma told me I was holding him back from graduating, and when Genma said I had a reputation for being unable to use chakra. I took that and then I put it together with the urge to cry over it. I let all of that settle in my stomach.

Interestingly enough, I started to feel kind of warm there.

"Perfect, now you're mixing it," Tonbo said, sounding excited.

"Now raise that to your forehead. It should be easy to move, just like breathing almost. The hard part will be keeping it in one little ball at the exact spot the leaf is," he said.

For the first time in a years worth of effort, I felt like I had a grasp on something. Like Tonbo had said though, it wasn't that I'd found a skill that I didn't have before. It was more like I'd realized that something that had always been there had a potential to it. When I picked up the ball of frustration from my gut to move it to my forehead, I felt it move. It had weight to it, even though I was only moving it with my willpower, and as it passed out of my stomach and through my chest, it left a wake of tingling energy. When I brought it to my forehead, I knew without thought that I'd done it. Gingerly, I took my hands off the leaf.

One... Two... Three... Four... Five...

The leaf dropped to the ground, just as I opened my eyes. It'd been stuck to my forehead for a while five seconds before falling, and looking at it now, it appeared to have been singed.

"Did that just work?" I leaped to my feet.

Tonbo smirked. "Good job, I guess."

I leaped towards Tonbo, almost tackling him to the ground, I was so happy. "Thank you so much Tonbo-senpai," I grinned.

"Geez, senpai sounds so formal," he rubbed the back of his head. I didn't care.

Caught up in the excitement, I backed away to try out the transformation jutsu. Dog... I brought my emotions back to my center just like before. Boar... I pushed them out to coat my skin. Ram... I released it suddenly, pushing them out of me like a storm. The room felt thick with them when I heard a popping noise - looking down at myself I grinned. I was the mirror image of Isamu, who was standing a few feet away from me blinking.

"I did it!" I squealed jumping up and down again.

"Nice job," Isamu muttered quietly.

Raido snorted, probably because I still looked like my brother, and Isamu had never squealed in excitement before in his life. "Now you've just got to work on your efficiency," Tonbo critiqued. "That was a crazy amount of chakra for that jutsu."

I grinned, poofing back down to my normal self, and making eye contact with Asuma.

"Well it's about time," he said, crossing his arms. He was smiling though. I felt lighter than I had in years. I couldn't wait to show Biwako and Jin-sensei. With the little things finally down, I finally felt like the sky was the limit once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Update!
> 
> Hope you liked this chapter! Sorry if it was a long time coming. My life has literally been a mess of work the past few weeks, but the good news is that summer is coming (finals are next week for me)! Hopefully that means more frequent updates for a little while.
> 
> A few exciting things happened this chapter. For one, we had a few new characters introduced - like Shisui! I've aged him up a little to make him fit in a little better with my timeline. Call it a fanfiction liberty, if you will. His age isn't going to effect what's considered "cannon" whatsoever - just pretend like he was roughly 7 years older than Itachi instead of 3-4 years older when all the events around the Uchiha massacre happened. Kishimoto never really made it clear how old he was anyhow.
> 
> On a different note, I'm trying something new with a song as the arc title and each chapter will start with a line or two from it. I'm going to back track and rename the intro arc and the second war arc at some point to fit with this, but I have to find a good song to go with them first. I'm open to suggestions if you have any.


	13. Our Own House: Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arc Tittle and Chapter Quote from song Our House by the MisterWives

**Our Own House**

_"Read it in a tale, One too tall to be real"_

* * *

 

Now before I get too ahead of myself, I want to make something clear: despite my recent breakthrough, I still was very, very bad at chakra. People had been telling me for years that I had a relatively large store of it - and they were right. When I wanted to perform a jutsu, like for example the transformation jutsu. I could jam my network with four times the amount necessary and perform flawlessly.

I'm a quick learner though. It only took me one two hour training session to see that was a bad idea. Dumping so much chakra into E-rank techniques was exhausting. Being chakra depleted left you feeling drained in every sense of the word. In a heart beat I was, suddenly sluggish, achey, droopy-eyed, and starving all at once.

Yeah, Biwako hadn't been happy with me when I got home that evening.

Finding the balance between too much and too little though was difficult. I didn't really have a good concept yet of what "a lot" of chakra felt like. Again, I'd only recently realized what any chakra felt like at all.

And of course, there was more to do with chakra than just jutsu. You could use it to enhance your movements, stringing it through your muscles to make them faster and stronger. I tried that once or twice too, but quickly found that too much chakra there threw my entire system off balance. I'd take a step with so much force that I'd end up pounding a hole in the ground with my foot and face planting.

So yeah, while I was certainly making progress now, I still had a lot to learn.

Thankfully, I finally like I was back on pace with my classmates, which honestly was a lot more than I could have ever hoped for before.

Hiruzen, Biwako, and Jin-sensei were all over the moon for me when I told then our new discovery, and Tonbo was getting pats on the back all around. Life couldn't have been better for the moment; although the usual drama always persisted.

The latest came in June - on Isamu's birthday actually. He was turning twelve - a birthday which was apparently very important because it was the age that they had been expecting him to graduate from the Academy. Of course the war had thrown a wrench in that plan, but that was beside the point. There were some important Sarutobi clan rituals that had to be observed this year. They were just more of a pre-chunin celebration for Isamu than a pre-genin one since Isamu was due to take the upcoming exams. Hiruzen had personally taken the day off to oversee the proceedings, as head of the Sarutobi clan.

Naturally, Asuma was grumpy as all get out.

It was beyond me what his exact problem was this time. Sometimes I wondered if just the sight of Hiruzen made him mad, because we never seemed to have peace when the two were in the same room.

"Why do I have to wear this stupid robe?" Asuma grumbled under his breath, as he looked at himself in the mirror of our shared room.

"Because we don't raise savages in this house," I replied lightly, with the best Biwako impression I could muster. He glared at me, apparently not amused by my joking.

"You don't understand," he huffed. "You don't have to sit through the stupid ceremony."

"I'll trade with you," I offered. "I'll go to the super secret ritual, and you can stay here and study for a few hours."

He just rolled his eyes. Probably because I was being royally unhelpful. See, I wasn't allowed to the Sarutobi clan's rituals. Attendance to these sorts of events was restricted to clansman only. If we're being honest, I was more than a little disappointed about the whole thing, but I would live. The main reason I wanted to go anyways was because the idea of a clan right of passage fascinated me. My intellectual interest really wasn't the best excuse for them to break tradition.

One day when Tsunade returned maybe I'd ask her if the Senju ever did stuff like this back in the day. My gut told me that they must have.

"Asuma-kun, are you ready?" Biwako called from the kitchen.

"Yeah," he responded.

"Have fun with your family," I smiled as he made way for the door.

"Those old farts don't even talk to me," he muttered unhappily. Then with a final wave, he disappeared into the hallway.

I sighed the moment he was gone and collapsed back into my bed. I was currently half way through a book called "Weapons Ware" and I knew that if I was feeling industrious, I'd be able to finish it before they all returned. Honestly though, I had lost interest in it the other day, after I'd gotten past the fifth chapter.

Remember when I told you about my spar with Genma? Remember what he said to me?

He recommended that I get a weapon to compensate for my tiny wingspan.

It'd been on my mind ever since he'd mentioned them. The only reason I hadn't picked one up already was because, well, I hadn't exactly been sure where to start. There were a million and one options for a shinobi to choose from when it came to weapons. Even if you narrowed it down to a category, like swords for instance, there was a lot of nuance in the exact type of sword to pick.

Plus, beyond that, I needed a teacher. No matter how much I loved a good how-to book, it would only get me so far. I needed someone to help me change my entire taijutsu style from that of a basic brawler to a weapon's specialist. Without that supervision, I was bound to pick up a handful of bad habits that would be a pain to correct down the line. It'd be better to learn things right the first time around.

Of course, I'm sure if I really wanted to learn something specific, Biwako or Jin-sensei would have found me the proper tutor. My adoptive mother was basically one of the most well connected women in the entire village after all. Nobody would refuse a favor from the Hokage's wife. Plus, I'm sure quite a few people might consider teaching one of the last remaining Senju to be somewhat of an honor.

Basically, all that considered, I was stuck back at the first problem- hence my choice in dry informative weapons literature. As I was saying, I'd gotten to chapter five before a ludicrous idea struck me, and now the rest of the reading seemed more and more pointless by the minute. Chapter five was all about the pros and cons of bojutsu, or staff fighting techniques.

Now a staff is kind of a strange weapon for a shinobi to wield. For one, they typically aren't sharp, making it slightly more difficult to kill someone with. Secondly, they take two hands to use, so hand seals in the heat of battle are an issue as well. Why was this specific weapon sticking out to me so much then? Well, see I already knew who could teach me the art of bojutsu.

The trouble was, I couldn't decide how to ask the Hokage to be my private tutor.

Yeah, that's right. Hiruzen was one of the most famous bojutsu specialists of all time. Nicknamed, the professor, he'd be literally the perfect teacher.

He was always so busy though - it seemed almost out of the question to imagine he'd even have the time. Yet a small voice in the back of my mind was telling me to bother him anyway. Part of me just wanted to be selfish, to get those few extra hours a week in with him all to myself. The other part knew though that it wasn't odd for a Hokage to take students while he was in office. Hiruzen had taught Jiraiya, Tsunade, and Orochimaru during the peace period between the first and second shinobi wars, and Tobirama had taught Hiruzen, Homura, and Koharu before that.

I wasn't even asking for him to become my full time teacher - just a tutor a few hours a week. Was that so bad?

Maybe I'd catch him after the Sarutobi clan ceremony was over.

With a sigh, I shut the weapons book after making it through another chapter and a half. I seemed to have subconsciously made up my mind - there was no reason to keep on trudging through the next few chapters on distance weaponry anymore. Hopping up from my bed, I made my way into the living room to see what other books we had lying around for me to get into. Not going to lie, it was days like these that I missed television. I think I'd gotten through every book in Biwako and Hiruzen's library already, and there was only so many times you can re-read the same few books before getting bored.

Today I decided to go for the classic Konoha History textbook. Village literature was always my favorite, even though I knew most of it already because of reincarnation bullshit. It was just interesting to see their perspective on it all. Anywho, I'd read Hiruzen's copy a hundred times over, but it was still my go-to bored book nonetheless.

I made it through the entire thing in the few hours that my family was out of the house. Just as I went to close the back cover, I heard the click of the front door opening, and saw my favorite genin poke his head through into the house.

They were back.

"Natsuki-chan!" Isamu's voice rang through the foyer.

"Hey," I called back, waving to catch his attention. Isamu was in similar dress clothes those Asuma put on earlier, though he seemed to have an odd bulge where the robes folded over his chest. Looking at him, he seemed pretty animated, by Isamu standards. Something about his expression was positively glowing. Behind him, the rest of the family took their time walking in. Hiruzen was looking at Isamu and me with a happy crinkle in his eyes, while Biwako seemed to be humming beside him.

The only one that looked remotely unhappy was Asuma, but his sour expression seemed unusually dire. I was the resident expert on interpreting Asuma's moods, given that I spent basically all of my time with him. In that moment, I swear, the kid looked like he was absolutely burning. One glance at him and I felt immediately uneasy. Hopefully he'd hold whatever it was in for another twenty minutes. I had a feeling that I needed to talk to him, urgently.

For the moment though, it was Isamu's day, and I had to respect that. See, when my adoptive older brother caught sight of me, the biggest grin spread over his face, and he came rushing into the living room.

"Want to see something?" Isamu asked me happily.

"Sure," I nodded.

Up close, I suddenly realized that the bulge in his robes seemed to be moving. Isamu seemed to be cradling it almost with his left arm. Kneeling down, he lifted the fold in his robe to reveal a small brown monkey, maybe the size of a 4 month old baby, sound asleep against his chest.

I let out a small gasp of surprise and leapt to my feet. "Where'd you get a monkey from?" I blinked, staring at the thing.

"It's family tradition. The clan has a partnership with a monkey summoning contract, and the future head of clan always partners with the future monkey king when they're a genin," Isamu explained. "Dad's partner Enma presented me with him today - that's what the ceremony was for. I'm going to teach him how to fight now."

"Did you name him?" I asked, reaching out and running my finger over the fur on its head. The baby monkey let out a satisfied pur.

"Well he's Enma's son, so Enma named him. He's called Sanno," Isamu told me.

I nodded, mildly disappointment that Isamu already had a name for him. I was going to suggest that they call him Abu - like the monkey from Aladdin. Oh well.

"Do you think-" I started. Before I got the sentence out, however, I was interrupted.

"Enough about the stupid monkey," Asuma exploded suddenly. I winced, looking up to see him glaring at us with his fists clenched and chest heaving.

"Asuma!" Biwako snapped harshly. I braced myself for the coming unexpected shit storm.

"It's always him," Asuma pointed a vapid finger at his brother. Isamu shifted uncomfortably.

"Wha-," Isamu began, but despite being the topic of Asuma's outburst, the kid didn't seem to really care about what his brother had to say.

"It's like you don't even care," Asuma cut Isamu off, spinning around towards his parents. His brown eyes bored into his father.

Ah, he was talking to Hiruzen now. I think he always was.

"We discussed this Asuma. Clan rules were made long before even your grandfather was born. Isamu is going to be the head of the clan one day. That means he will have extra privileges, but only because he'll have more responsibility one day. There's nothing more to it," Hiruzen said. The old man was the picture of calm, though his age was starting to show a bit.

"It's not just about the dumb clan stuff," Asuma rounded, just getting started.

"Asuma Sarutobi don't you dare start this now. It is your brother's day," Biwako cut in, looking like she was ready to commit murder.

I had to hand it to Asuma, he looked his mother dead in the eye, not even flinching. It was like he was actually asking for death because I swear she was going to murder him.

"It's okay Biwako, let him talk," Hiruzen shook his head. "Get it out Asuma."

"You're never home," Asuma burst out, not needing any more permission to start yelling. "And when you are home, it's always because you've got some stupid duty to do. It's always obligation this and honor that. Or it's always for him. Other things are important too - not everything has to be about shinobi and the village. Y-you don't even see that!"

"We've talked this to death Asuma. If you don't understand why it has to be like this by now, then I don't think I can explain it to you," Hiruzen sighed. "One day, when you're older and you truly understand what it is to be a ninja yourself, it will make sense. I promise."

"You always promise," Asuma's face twisted. Then without any more warning her turned and walked right back out through the front door.

Nobody made move to follow him.

Sometimes, he just needed to let his anger settle by himself. I sure as hell knew nothing I was going to say could make it better, at least. This chip Asuma always carried about his father had a life of it's own. It was like a demon that sat just beneath the surface, and when it reared it's ugly face, there was no controlling it. It was one of the few things Asuma and I didn't talk about often - a burden I couldn't share with him. The best I could ever do when it came to Hiruzen, was offer my company as a distraction.

"That boy," Biwako finally sighed.

"He'll come back tonight," Hiruzen shook his head. "You should talk to him again then. He won't listen to me."

"Did I do something?" Isamu asked, sounding crestfallen.

"You know what your brother's like. He's always struggled with my work duties," Hiruzen shook his head. Then looking sharply at Isamu he added," He's not angry at you, not at all. He never was."

I bumped my shoulder silently into Isamu as he nodded.

"I've still got that cake for you Isamu. I made it with the green tea flavored icing, but if you're both too tired..." Biwako looked at us with a ghost of a smile.

She didn't have to say the word cake twice. Both of us were on our feet in half a heartbeat, bounding off towards the kitchen and trying to put Asuma's outburst out the room. Green tea flavored icing doesn't sound like it has any right to be good, but for whatever reason, Biwako's secret recipe was literally to die for. We always savored the chance to gorge ourselves on her deserts when she allowed it.

Asuma would be disappointed later that he missed this.

With the family settling in for desert, now was as good a time as any for me to get my own burning questions off my chest.

"Mm, I don't know if now's a bad time, after you know..." I started, rocking in my chair while everyone started digging into their cake. "But I actually had a question for you Hiruzen-san."

"Hm?" Hiruzen grunted, while Biwako shot me a suspicious look.

"Well see, you know I've been doing pretty well in taijutsu class, but recently some new kids joined us. They're older, and a lot bigger too. My size is a real problem when I fight them," I rambled, dancing around the point. "And one of them said that I could use something to help make up for the fact that I'm so small."

I paused, looking at them to see if I'd struck a bad chord yet. They were all just staring at me curiously though. No rejection apparent yet.

"He said I could pick up a weapon, and that'd help give me a little more reach. And I've been doing some research, and thought maybe I could learn bojutsu... like you," I finished.

The room was silent for a beat, as my palms started sweating in anticipation. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Hiruzen smiled.

"It's been a while since someone has asked the Hokage to be their own personal tutor," he chuckled. I felt my cheeks go red. Nonetheless, I seemed to have put him suddenly into a good mood. "I think I can arrange to teach you," he continued. "It will be hard work, however, and you'll have to accommodate my schedule. If you want, perhaps I could also find a teacher for you who has a bit more free ti-"

"No, if you think you can, I'd like you to be my sensei," I grinned, exchanging a giddy look with Isamu. He smiled at me, while he subtly fed his baby monkey, Sanno, a bit of frosting under the table.

"Very well, we'll start this week," Hiruzen nodded.

"Great," I agreed. With that, we all went about the rest of desert, chatting about random things and generally being as happy as we could be given Asuma's absence. I was over the moon, beside myself with how well my conversation with Hiruzen had gone.

Lessons couldn't start soon enough.

* * *

 

Hiruzen wasn't joking when he said I was going to need to work hard if I was going to learn to use a staff. We started almost immediately after I requested he tutor me. The following day was a Monday, and I went to school as planned. When we were released for the day however, Jin-sensei called after me.

"Natsuki-chan wait, don't run off with Asuma or Guy," she said as I slid out of my seat to go start my evening conditioning exercise.

I made confused eye contact with Asuma, not sure what Jin-sensei needed.

"Will Natsuki be here very long sensei?" Guy asked from the row in front of me. "We were going to run fifty laps around the village today!"

"Yes she will be, maybe you should start without her Guy," Jin-sensei smirked. Guy turned to me, not thrown at all by the fact that I wouldn't be joining to run today.

"I will run 100 laps then, to make up for those you'll miss!" he declared. Then without further ado, he scurried out of the room, presumably to start his work out. I snorted, watching him go. Sometimes you just couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous he was.

"What did you need to talk to me about," I asked Jin-sensei, trotting down to join her at the front of the room.

Asuma followed me as well, his curiosity probably getting the better of his manners. I didn't mind though. I was sure that I'd just end up telling him about any conversation I'd have with Jin-sensei later anyways. This would save me the trouble of having to explain anything.

Jin-sensei looked over at Asuma for a moment, before accepting his presence and reaching underneath her desk and pulling out a collapsed three foot long staff and a brown leather strap holder from underneath her desk.

"The Hokage dropped this off to me during lunch time. He said to tell you to meet him in training room 300 upstairs when you finished for the day," she said. I nodded, gingerly taking the staff into my hands and feeling its weight.

It was just shorter than I was when standing it on it's end, and the wood felt smooth in my palms. When I adjusted the shoulder strap on my back, the staff fit neatly into it- making it much more portable. I imagined, however, that I'd need to figure out how to make the staff retractable or something. Sitting with a big pole strapped to your back couldn't be easy.

"The Hokage?" Asuma's voice cut into my conscious. My stomach twisted, as I realized I hadn't told him about the bojutsu training yet. After he had run off last weekend, I hadn't wanted to make him angry with more talk of his father. We had just fallen back into our normal routine, and I'd left the drama to be settled between him and his parents.

Maybe that had been a bad idea.

"Ah yeah," I shifted, rubbing the back of my head. "I asked Hiruzen-san to teach me bojutsu this weekend."

"Oh," Asuma said, his dark eyes staring at the weapon I had just strapped to my back. For once, I felt like I couldn't read him. My stomach turned. "Well have fun I guess," he deadpanned suddenly, before turning around and leaving the room. I frowned, feeling guilt turn over in my stomach.

I should have told him earlier. He shouldn't have found out from Jin-sensei.

"Thank you for delivering the message," I sighed, waving at my teacher before heading up the stairs to find Hiruzen.

* * *

 

Hiruzen was a strict teacger. When I was with him during staff training, he expected everything from me to be perfect. When you were learning to fight with a staff, he said, it wasn't really about the weapon at all. It was about how you held your body. Your spine had to be straight, your movements all deliberate. A staff had no sharp point, but when handled correctly, you could snap an enemy's spine with a well placed thwack! Learning to be both fluid and inflexible at the same time was key.

In the beginning we spent most sessions just going through simple motions. I felt like the karate kid, swinging my new staff around my body with no idea how to translate the movements into real combat. Hiruzen would stand there with his own staff, adjusting my arms and giving me pointed instruction.

Straighten your back. Raise your arms. Widen your feet.

Despite his high expectations, Hiruzen was always the picture of calm. When I did something wrong, he'd tell me in exactly the same tone he used when I did something right. I never felt like he was yelling at me, the way Jin-sensei sometimes would, though I suppose I never felt that I got much praise either. That was okay though. I didn't need him to shower me with praise- being there and teaching me was enough.

Of course, no matter how serious Hiruzen could be during our lessons, the facade always dropped immediately when the lesson was over.

"Hm, alright Natsuki-chan, I think that's enough for one day," he'd say. "Come, I'll take you out for ice cream before I get back to work."

Then we'd stop by the sweets parlor that was around the corner from the Academy for thirty minutes and I'd head back for the evening. It was nice. When I was with Hiruzen, sometimes I felt almost like he really was my father, teaching me to follow in his footsteps. I felt like he respected me in a way that most adults didn't. He knew that behind my tiny stature was a mind too mature for my years, and I appreciated that.

Asuma was horribly jealous of course. He didn't talk to me for a week after he found out that Hiruzen was personally tutoring me. That seven days of my life was awful. Thankfully, I think Kurenai of all people, went up and gave him a piece of her mind after asking me about our fight during kunoichi class. That evening, he offered to share his rice with me during dinner, and I took that as a peace offering. I still made a point never to talk about my training with him after that.

No need to rub salt in that wound.

Any who, the months rolled by, and life moved on. I got better wielding my staff, to the point that I could use it during Academy sparring lessons - Genma nodded in approval when he saw I'd taken his advice. With this final skill clicking into place, I finally felt a sense of readiness wash over me. I think my entire class was feeling it as well. Our time as Academy students was dwindling.

Sooner rather than later, it'd be time to graduate and become genin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N, Sorry this chapter took longer than I anticipated for me to finish. I hit a big wall of major writers block with it. Although I think I'm happy enough with how it came out.
> 
> Until next time,
> 
> Aule


	14. Our Own House: Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arc Tittle and Chapter Quote from song Our Own House by the MisterWives

**Our Own House**

_"We built our own house, own house, with our hands over our hearts."_

* * *

 

_My name is Natsuki Senju, and I am a genin of Konoha._

How's that sound? Pretty amazing, right?

Of course, I was jumping the gun just a little bit- I wasn't a ninja just yet; however, I could count the days on one hand now. Jin-sensei had taken the liberty to warn us early that they would be administering the bi-annual graduation exam this week, and I was practically dying from anticipation. Since the war started, I'd had three opportunities to take the graduation exam. Those times had been different though. There was a distinction between having the chance to take the exam and the chance to graduate.

The past few months had changed everything. I could use chakra now, and I had picked up my staff. My skill set was as good as any other newly-minted ninja, better even if you wanted to look at my intelligence rating. Before, I hadn't been ready to capitalize on the examination opportunities. This would be my first, and hopefully final, real shot at a headband.

I could feel it in my bones. I was literally that close.

_My name is Natsuki Senju, and I am a genin of Konoha._

Man, I liked the way that sentence rolled off my tongue. I don't think I'd ever wanted something so badly before, not in this life, not in the last one. Indeed, this was basically eight years in the making. I'd never had reason to dedicate myself so wholly towards a singular task before, but I hadn't wavered in my determination since I first realized my circumstances in Hiruzen's arms half a lifetime ago. After all the blood, sweat, and tears, quite frankly, I felt I deserved to finally see some fruit for my labor.

Not that I my work was done of course - it was just getting started. But a girl get's restless. I was ready to move on.

The others were all feeling anxious too, of course. Asuma, Guy, Kurenai, Rin, Obito - all of them had been talking about this test non-stop. If I thought about it, their enthusiasm was a great sign. I'd seen the spoilers; they were all going to graduate at the same time. With the accelerated curriculum the Academy had been pushing, the timing just seemed right.

Of course, knowing the rest of my class was most likely going to pass also made me rather nervous. I was confident in my skills, but I'd been terrified they'd leave me behind ever since I started having chakra issues. Even though those old worries seemed irrational now, I'd never live down the shame if Asuma graduated and I didn't. Staying with him was everything.

When we walked into the Academy on the big day, it was mayhem. Jin-sensei's classroom, which she had spent years taming, was bubbling with chatter. Every kid present seemed to be infected with some combination of nerves and excitement. For once, Asuma actually seemed to be the calm one of the pair of us. He had complete and utter confidence that both of us would be passing today - despite my growing anxiety over being left behind.

"I've taken the exam before Nat, just trust me. We're gonna be ninja tonight," he told me over our morning bowl of rice earlier.

I hoped with all my being that he was right.

"Morning Kurenai," I greeted as we slid into our usual spots for the day.

"Morning," she chirped back. "You guys ready?"

"Yup," Asuma answered confidently.

"Friends! I wanted to wish you all good luck on today's exam!" a boisterous voice suddenly cut in from the front of the room. I rolled my eyes when I saw Guy standing up there giving the entire room his characteristic thumbs up. Several of the civilian kids were shooting him dirty looks from their chairs, and I vaguely wondered how many of them still scoffed at him for his lack of ninjustu skills.

Most of them probably. Well, by the end of the day, we'd see who still had a stick up their ass. Guy was more than ready to become a genin. They'd be stupid to fail him for a justu he'd never be able to do.

"Good luck to you too Guy-kun," Shisui Uchiha called back down to him.

I cast the kid a sideways glance. He was always like this- offering kind words to the first person that would accept them. Shisui was pretty popular actually. Even the civilian kids, who typically gave anyone remotely tied to a clan the cold shoulder, seemed to like him. Thankfully, Obito really wasn't a fan of his happy young cousin, and as a result, he kept the rest of us away from Shisui whenever he had the opportunity. Rin would yell at him sometimes for it, but I just accepted the excuse to keep our youngest classmate at arms length.

As I've said a million times before, I have enough tragedy to avoid without worrying about the freaking Uchiha clan.

Anyways, in no time, Jin-sensei walked into the room, holding the clipboard she only ever had when administering tests. "Ready to roll folks?" she asked with a wide grin from the front of the room.

She really didn't even need to ask that question. I could've cut through the anticipation in the room with butter knife. There was some commotion while she got the administrative stuff out of the way. Jin-sensei brought in a few kids from the other classes - some older ones who must've failed this several times over by now and some younger ones probably taking it for the first time.

Once they were all settled, the rest was just quick business. The exam would be split into three portions - a written exam, a ninjutsu based practical, and a taijutsu based obstacle course, each taking an hour. That meant three hours from now, I'd hopefully never step through the Academy doors again as a student.

First up was the written part, which theoretically was my bread and butter. Nevertheless, as Jin-sensei handed out some suspiciously thin packets, I found that my nerves were certainly on full blast.

"You may begin!"

Fidgeting with my pencil, I took a deep breath and delved into the test. The first question was... easy, just a simple math problem about kunai trajectory. Without even having to write down any diagrams to help me, I was able to fill in the answer and then move onto the next problem. That one wasn't much more difficult. It was a common sense survival inquiry, something any half decent ninja wouldn't even think about in the field.

In fact, most of the test was like that. None of the questions were challenging. It was mostly focused on items that you really _could not_ be an effective shinobi without. By the time I'd reached the back end of the packet, I was half speechless by how easily I'd gotten through the whole thing. Not that I had been expecting much trouble, but I guess I was expecting to have to _think_ at least a little bit.

In the end, not only did I finish the test quickly, I finished it first. All the butterflies that had been fluttering around in my stomach just moments earlier were settling, instead being replaced by a feeling of readiness. All that was left now was to wait for the rest of my class to catch up. Which they did, with a little bit more time. Ebisu handed his paper in shortly after me, then one of the civilian kids, Mosuga. When time was up, only four people were still left writing- three small boys and a girl. I think all of them must've come up from the younger class, and probably didn't expect to do well this time around anyways. I bet this was just practice for them, like Kakashi's graduation test had been for Asuma.

Regardless, I doubted those four had much of a chance for a headband left after struggling so much with that test. They expected near perfect scores from graduating students. If you messed up much of anything, they had the right to fail you. Looking at what they handed us though, I guess I wouldn't want to hand someone a military rank if they couldn't even answer the few silly questions in that packet. Then again, I suppose that was the point of it.

"Next up is the ninjutsu portion. I'm going to need each of you to come up and demonstrate both the clone jutsu and the transformation jutsu for me," Jin-sensei announced. "We'll go in order by last name, okay? That means first up is Sayuri Bando."

I shifted my mind away from the first portion of the exam and back onto the present, while a civilian girl I was familiar with from kunoichi class hopped up and nervously walked to the front.

"Transformation jutsu!" she shouted as she went through the standard hand signs. With a poof, she morphed into what I think must've been Hiruzen. The Hokage garb she had put on was the only reason I'd ever have guessed her intent though. His nose was four times bigger than it should've been, and his skin was a borderline purple color. Asuma couldn't hold in his snort.

The girl changed back into herself, looking like she might be sick before pulling off a flawless clone jutsu. I felt bad for her as she walked back to her seat, knowing that she'd probably failed. As I said, they expected near perfect performance for students to pass, and the ninjutsu portion was most often than not the reason they didn't let students through. Guy was a bizarre exception to an unspoken set of shinobi rules. Most ninja are nothing without ninjutsu.

They went on to cycle through the rest of the class. Everyone I was expecting to do well did, while a few civilian kids here and there were miffing one jutsu or the other just like Sayuri did. Interestingly enough, speaking of my favorite taijutsu partner, I noticed that they skipped Guy's name completely on the list. He must've worked something out with Jin-sensei so that they wouldn't be grading him on this portion of the exam. That or he told them to just fail him on this section ahead of time, so he wouldn't have to embarrass himself in front of the entire class.

A knot twisted in my stomach when she called me up to the front of the classroom. Asuma gave me an encouraging nudge as I got up from my seat.

This was my moment of truth. See, we all know that if I was going to mess something up - it'd be the ninjutsu section of this exam. Chakra was my historically my biggest weakness, and despite all the hours I'd spent on these two specific jutsu, I was starting to have some last minute doubts. Asuma had already done his two jutsu without any problems. I needed to keep on pace.

 _Come on Senju,_ I thought to myself, touching the crest on my sleeve and thinking of Tsunade and Nawaki. _You_ _have to make them proud._

"Transformation jutsu," I muttered dumping four times the normal amount of chakra into my veins. There was an audible crackling poof, and for a horrible moment, I thought I might've accidentally used more energy than I could control. When I opened my eyes though, I found that I was standing taller than normal. I was in a white robe, with an itchy beard on my chin and skin the same tanned tone as Asuma's. I was Hiruzen.

With a satisfied grin, I popped back to normal and went for the next one. With the added confidence of my transformation jutsu success, I churned more chakra in my stomach, swirling it around my body before pushing it outside to the spot beside me.

"Clone jutsu," I cried out, with unnecessary volume. Again, there was a popping sound from the excessive amount of chakra I was using, but next to me I saw my mirror image staring back. The weight immediately lifted from my chest.

"Good job Natsuki-chan," Jin-sensei nodded, looking a little smug herself. A swell of pride surged through me as I walked back to my seat.

We finished the rest of the practical ninjustu exam in short order, and soon we went outside for the taijutsu portion. I won't bother you with those details though. I was on track to specialize in taijutsu at the moment. Between lessons with Hiruzen and after school training with Guy, the rest of the graduation exam was a joke. I was more than capable of running the Academy obstacle course with a time that could rival the best in my class.

An hour later, we all found ourselves back in the classroom, with Jin-sensei scribbling diligently on her clip board. My eyes were fixated, of course, on the table with several headbands laid out on it. I counted 26 sitting there, meaning that about 10 or so people must've failed. When you included the kids taking it early from the younger classes, that meant most of everyone in my year had made it.

"We got it," Asuma whispered quietly to me, sounding sure of himself.

"Alright, that was a good run everyone," Jin-sensei said finally. "I want each and every one of you to know how much of an honor it's been teaching you, and I'm sure that you'll all be a splendid ninja. Now, when I call your name, please come down to claim your headband. If your name is not called than please make your way to room 217 where you'll be reassigned to a new class, as this one will be dissolved after the results of this exam. Okay, first off... Ebisu Kurata!"

We clapped as Ebisu stood up proudly, pushing his glasses back on the bridge of his nose.

"Guy Maito!"

My training partner looked like he might start crying as he hopped down to go get the headband he'd been chasing for so long. I was happy for him.

"Rin Nohara!"

The list went on like that. Rin passed, as did Kumade, and Mogusa. I held my breath as she moved onto the "S" names. "

Asuma Sarutobi."

Asuma practically crushed my forearm in his hand when his name was called, and went down to get his prize.

"Natsuki Senju!"

My heart skipped a beat, and there it was. She had called my name. I had passed.

An involuntary squeal escaped my lips, and I leaped up from my chair. I passed Asuma on the way down, and caught him in an aggressive hug, throwing my entire weight at him. For once though, he actually allowed the little bit of affection and he gave me a sheepish hug back. "Told you," he said quietly as I pulled away from him.

Jin-sensei winked as she passed me a shiny new headband, and I clutched it tightly in my fingers. Wasting only a moment to stare at it happily, I turned the plate over and tied it to my right arm - the one opposite the Senju crest on my short haiori. I'd thought about where I was going to wear my headband excessively over the past few days, and had decided that I didn't want to wear it the traditional way on my forehead. My white bangs would stick up if I did that. With it tied to my arm, I now had a symbol on each side of me to represent each part of my family. Tsunade and Nawaki, each gone from the village in their own way, would be on my left, and the Sarutobi's and the rest of my friends from Konoha would be on my right.

I felt balanced.

Up front, Jin-sensei was finishing her role call. In the end, it was just as I predicted- Genma, Obito, and Kurenai each received a headband, rounding out the group of characters from the manga that I knew were supposed to be in Asuma's graduating class. Interestingly enough though, Shisui Uchiha was also called up, just before Kurenai. I frowned as I watched the happy kid trot down the stairs to get his headband. I had assumed he'd fail the exam today, although now that I thought about it, I guess I didn't have good reason to be thinking like that. Clearly he'd proven me wrong.

"Alright everyone settle down," Jin-sensei called. My attention snapped back to my teacher, drifting away from the Naruto canonical math that I was trying to do in my head. There were more important things to be thinking about right now.

* * *

As it turns out, becoming a genin was not an efficient process. There was a ton of paperwork that goes on in the background before you get to any of the fun stuff. Before we were dismissed from class that day, we were each handed a stack of paper work we had to fill out. It was basically the start your official ninja profile that I'm sure the higher ups had to keep on file. They gave us an identification number, and we had to tell them our height, weight, jutsu preferences and the like. Then we had to schedule times to take our ID pictures and sign some liability release documents.

There was a graduation ceremony scheduled the next day as well, which was apparently new. Somebody apparently decided that it'd boost village morale to have a celebration for us that would include our families. Honestly, it seemed a little be much to me. Biwako wasn't going to be able to attend because she had a shift at the hospital scheduled and Isamu was out of the village running a mission now that he was a newly minted chunin. The only family member we'd have present was Hiruzen, and he'd be there representing the village, not us.

But maybe I was just being a little impatient.

See, it didn't take me long after leaving the Academy building to start thinking of the future. I'd had tunnel vision the past few years - everything had been about becoming a ninja. Today was literally the first time I'd had a chance to take a step back and wonder, I'm a ninja now what? Who will be on my team? Who will be my sensei? What sort of havoc was my presence going to have on the order of the universe tomorrow during team assignments?

It was on everyone's mind really. Well, maybe not the havoc part, but the teammate part for sure.

Several hours after the entrance exam, I found myself laying in the grass of a familiar park with Asuma. When we had gotten out of class, we had gone down town, intending to celebrate for the evening. A bowl of ramen and a plate of dango later, we wandered back to one of the parks we used to play in as toddlers. It was nice to finally relax for the day after all the evenings spent training.

"I think they're going to keep us together," Asuma said suddenly, breaking the previously peaceful silence that we has been enjoying.

"Huh?" I blinked, looking at him in surprise.

"Well, I've just been thinking about team assignments," he said to me. "And you know, if they don't put us on the same team, we might not see each other all the time anymore."

"Oh, yeah I guess so," I nodded with a frown. Truth be told, I hadn't even really considered this angle of things properly yet. Sure I knew I might not end up on the same team as Asuma. The consequences of that... He was right, it meant we might not not see each other as much anymore. The thought felt sour the moment it crossed my mind. "You think they'll keep us together though?"

"I want to be with you and Kurenai-chan," he said firmly. "But, I don't know. It just seems plain stupid not to put me and you together at the very least. Nobody's going to ever work better together than the two of us."

I paused, thinking about it for a moment. I usually had a more logical angle on these things than him. It was why we got along so well - I could always reason out his impulsiveness.

"It'll probably just depend on what they think about us living together, you know. If they're worried putting us on the same team will make us spend _too_ much time together, then they'd split us up," I commented. "Do they usually put other siblings together?"

"Hm, there's a team of three Uchiha's in Isamu's year," he offered. "But I guess they're not actually brothers."

"Yeah," I nodded. My mind was doing cannon math again. I was pretty sure Asuma and Kurenai were on the same team in the manga, but I wasn't sure. Actually, I really didn't know what any of the teams were, other than Obito, Rin, and Kakashi. Twenty-six people graduated - a number that wasn't divisible by three - which meant two kids were still going to end up with Kakashi.

I just prayed that I didn't mess things up so bad that one of those two spots would be given to me.

"Well we'll still hang out if we're not on the same team, okay Nat? I don't want it to be like it is with Isamu," Asuma went on. He was being oddly nostalgic today. "I mean, he's great and everything, but we only ever see him when he's home between missions. He doesn't take us for ice cream or go with us to the park like he used to when he was in the Academy."

"You're my best friend Asuma - we still share the same bedroom for pete's sake. I don't think I could get away from you if I tried," I grinned at him - trying to swallow the anxiety that was growing in my stomach.

He rolled his eyes and sent his fist flying into my shoulder.

"Seriously though, I think that at the very least you'll end up with one of us. Either me or Kurenai," I went on, giving him a good push back. "There's like what? Five kunoichi who passed I think? They'll want to spread us out, and you know it's Hiruzen-san who is in charge of the assignments. Say what you want about him, he knows you. He'll want somebody on your team who can handle your thick head when you're being stubborn."

"Well then he's going to put you on a team with either me or Guy, because he'll want to keep you with somebody who can keep you sane with your nutty studying and training habits," Asuma grumbled back. I snorted.

"Come on, Guy is the last person I'd describe as grounded about training," I said.

He laughed with me then. Because really, that was a ridiculous thought.

"Whatever," Asuma said finally, still hiccuping with the tail end of our laughter. "Well whoever we end up with, we're ninja now Nat. We did it!"

"Mmhmm, we did it," I hummed, agreeing with him. Then we went back to watching the clouds. Back to our happy silence. Back to ignoring the possibility of being separated.

* * *

The graduation ceremony the next day was over quickly. We showed up, a bunch of young kids reverberating with excitement, and we walked across the stage to receive paper certificates from Hiruzen, who was donned in his Hokage garb. Obito was so late that he didn't show up, of course, but other than that, there wasn't much excitement. The parents clapped for us as we walked across the stage - some of the civilians were even hooting and whistling for their newly minted ninja children. As for me, I got a subtle wink from Hiruzen as he handed me my certificate. It was a small gesture, but it made me feel inexplicably warm inside. I guess I was still a little bit more sentimental than I'd thought after all.

Then, it was over, and they ushered us back into our classroom, where Jin-sensei was waiting with her official clipboard.

"Okay, I know your families are all waiting for you kids outside, so I'll be quick. For those of you who don't already know, you're about to be assigned to genin teams of three. You will be working with the group you're given for a long time, probably until you're all chunin, assuming nothing goes wrong. So I recommend you at least try and be happy with your assignment. You won't be getting another one," she glanced down at her clipboard. "Once you've been given your team, you're free to leave. You will need to return to this room at 10 o'clock tomorrow where you'll be picked up by your jonin instructors. Then you'll start your official genin duties tomorrow. Any questions?"

There were none. My heart was starting to beat pretty quickly in my chest now as I waited impatiently for her to get on with it. The possibilities were all over the place, and Asuma's words were ringing fresh in my ears. _If they don't put us on the same team..._ I forced the thought out of my mind and tapped my foot. I needed her to start calling teams

"Alright, moving along then, we'll start with Team One - Mosuga, Kumade, and Kurenai."

I swallowed, eyes flickering over to Kurenai involuntarily. She had a tentative smile on her lips as she looked over to her two new genin teammates. Mogusa was the top civilian student in our class, albiet kind of shy and soft-hearted. Meanwhile Kumade was kind of a hot head - he certainly wasn't on my list of favorite people. Still, Kurenai was so calm, so collected. She could handle those two I think. Of course, the personal consequences of this grouping didn't miss me either - if Kurenai was with those two, that meant she wasn't with Asuma and me.

I was almost too relieved to be bitter. Almost. I'm not too proud to admit how selfish I could be. If they were only putting one kunoichi per team, than my chances of sticking with Asuma just got better.

"Team Two - Ebisu, Genma, and Guy."

I didn't have time to process what she said before Guy was leaping to his feet. "Thank you Jin-sensei, we will make a splendid team!" he shouted with a grin. In the first row Ebisu was groaning, while Genma was wearing an amused smirk. I had to chuckle, looking at the three of them - in my heart, I knew this was meant to me. Their team would be a little dysfunctional, I'm sure, but they would balance each other out between Genma's level headed-ness, Ebisu's stiff demeanor and Guy's crazy enthusiasm.

"Uh, Team Three is a bit of an anomaly, because of the odd number of students we have graduating. Rin, you and Obito will be joining an existing team that has spots to fill. Your third teammate will be Kakashi Hatake, if you remember him," Jin-sensei explained.

I let out an audible sigh of relief, as one of my larger worries was lifted. Rin seemed happy enough to be on a team with Obito, and unfazed by the presence of Kakashi. That was perfect. Their destinies were separate from mine now. As terrible as that was, I was happy with things remaining like that.

"I remember him Sensei," Rin chimed in.

"Good, can you please find Obito later and tell him?"

"Yes, of course."

"Good, next is Team Four," Jin-sensei continued. "That'll be Asuma..." my breath hitched..."Natsuki and..." I felt elation running through me as she flipped the paper on her clipboard. Once again, I seemed to have been worrying for naught. This was everything I could have hoped for. I was with Asuma, far away from Obito, Kakashi and Rin. Off to save _my_ world on-

"And Shisui."

My excitement stopped dead in it's tracks as I glanced over towards the littlest Uchiha, eyes wide. An image of him all grown up crying bloody tears flashed through my mind. After everything I'd done to stay as far away from tragedy as possible, this was most decidedly not part of the plan.

"We're together!" Asuma squeezed my arm, sounding happy. I shot him the closest thing to a smile I could muster, knowing it probably wasn't as genuine as it should be.

_Well shit. What do I do now?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when I said updates would be more frequent since I was on break? Apparently not. I've been super busy with my new job. But I'm still going. I know a lot of people have been asking questions about Shisui and how he fits into this - well now you know. They're on the same genin team, so from this chapter forward, he's about to become very important.
> 
> A quick run down on ages - Asuma is 9 (birthday in October), Natsuki is 8 (birthday in March), Shisui is 7 (birthday in April). This chapter happens during the last week of October.
> 
> Also, starting from this chapter, we're going to see a shift in how I've been writing. For the most part, the beginning of this story has been snippits from different chunks of her life. There's been about a 9 month jump from chapter to chapter (give or take some time depending on which two you're looking at of course). From now on though, this will be a continuous story. If I decide to do another time skip, it won't be for a while.
> 
> They get their sensei in the next chapter. Any guesses on who it will be?


	15. Our Own House: Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arc Title and Chapter Quote from song Our Own House by The MisterWives

**Our Own House**

_"And we swore on that day that it will never fall apart"_

* * *

I felt like a zombie as we collected ourselves for dismissal. The whole room was buzzing with gossip and excitement as everyone processed their own team assignments, but I couldn't appreciate any of it.

_Shisui Uchiha,_ I thought to myself, completely mortified.  _Shisui freaking Uchiha._ Why couldn't I just catch a break for once? All I wanted was to live a quiet life, where all my friends and family  _weren't_  in mortal danger. Why in the world, out of every possible option for teammates, did I have to end up with  _Shisui Uchiha?_

It was bad enough that I had to worry about my family. Really, my anxiety about them and the war had only recently subsided. I couldn't start getting attached to someone from the Uchiha clan now. Much less  _Shisui_ , who would become such a tragic victim during their demise. This was like opening up a whole new can of worms. One that I didn't want to deal with whatsoever. I'm not Naruto Uzumaki. I'm not the savior that everyone seemed to need in this world. I wasn't here to save Shisui or Sasuke or Itachi or any of the rest of the Uchiha clan. Their lives were too big a burden for my little shoulders to bear.

Anyways, even if I did save them - what then? I was depending on my foreknowledge to save my family. Would Orochimaru still attack the village and kill Hiruzen if Sasuke wasn't his only option for Uchiha bait? Would Asuma still end up fighting Hidan if the village had an entire clan of sharingan warriors to send out against the Akatsuki as well? What about Isamu and Biwako? How could I navigate their untimely demise when the details would be even more blurry than what I already had?

I was a terrible person for thinking all of this, but I couldn't help it. It was okay to worry about myself, wasn't it? The shinobi world was kind of a shitty place, when you got past all the cool super powers. If I didn't reign in my heart, it would break me.

"We should probably say hello, I guess," Asuma's voice chirped in my ear, registering only barely through the buzz of my thoughts. "Nat... did you hear me?"

"What?" I blinked, looking at him. A thin frown bloomed on his face immediately, and his eyebrows furrowed together. I guess I probably wasn't taking as much care to smother my reaction as I should have been. I probably looked just as distressed as I felt.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

I nodded, trying to correct myself immediately. I picked my jaw up off the floor, straightened my back, and smoothed my expression down to something more neutral. I don't think I looked okay, per se, but I hid the worst of it as deep beneath the surface as I could manage. Now was not the time to be falling apart.

"I, uh, just didn't think we'd be on a team with Shisui. It caught me off guard," I said, letting out a deep breath. If he was going to believe me, I had to calm down.

Asuma's eyes narrowed. My heart was beating so loud, he could probably hear it.

"You've been spending too much time around Obito," he decided after a moment, and I felt the tension leave my frame immediately. "Come on, everyone else seems to like him well enough _._ "

"Yeah, I guess so," I automatically agreed. That was as good as an excuse for me as anything, even if it didn't make any sense. I never hung out with Obito if I could avoid it - most of our 'friendship' just revolved around the fact that we hung around the same people. It was true, of course, that Obito had some sort of mysterious grudge against his cousin, but I sure as hell wasn't taking time out of my day to gossip with him about it. If that's what Asuma wanted to believe though, then I wasn't going to correct him.

"Well like I was saying, we should probably go say hi to him. Mom will be mad at us if we don't," he went on, shoulders fixing into a lazy shrug. He shifted his weight for a moment, looking suddenly very smug, before adding a, "Be nice."

"Hey! I'm always nice," I protested. The irony of all this wasn't lost on me. Usually I was the one telling him to be on his best behavior. He was such a little twerp.

"Yeah, when you're not being weird," his smirked. He was enjoying our role reversal too much. "Now let's go."

Grabbing my arm, he half dragged me over to Shisui. The Uchiha was sitting on the other end of the room next to Mogusa, one of the boys on Kurenai's team, and seemed to be wrapping up a conversation as we approached. As much as I was trying to smother my feelings, every step we took in his direction raised my panic-dial a little bit higher. I could hear my heart beating in my ears, and my palms were starting to sweat.

I would've given the shirt off my back to have been literally any other place but there.

"Hey Shisui-kun," Asuma greeted for the both of us.

Shisui spun around in his chair at the sound of his name, a happy grin growing on his face before he even looked at us.

"Oh, hiya," he piped, hopping to his feet. "You're coming to say hello? You beat me to it. I was just about to go looking for you guys."

"Yeah, we just wanted to say that we were excited to, ah, be on a team with you," Asuma said with an awkward half-smile. He actually seemed nervous as he stretched his arm up to rub the back of his head with one hand. That was interesting. I wondered if Biwako had threatened him this morning to get him acting so polite.

"Thanks, it's an honor to be with you as well," Shisui nodded sincerely. Then he dipped forward into a low formal bow, like the kind you might give to a respected superior. I stared at him dumbly as he righted himself again. "I'm sure we'll all be great friends!"

My stomach clenched involuntarily, and for a moment, I thought I might be getting sick. I didn't even realize that the silence between us was becoming uncomfortably long until Asuma sent his elbow into my ribcage.

Oh, it was my turn to say something nice.

"Yeah, great friends," I agreed. It wasn't the most graceful thing that's ever come out of my mouth, that's for sure, but it was all I could muster. Thankfully, Shisui seemed oblivious to whatever vibe I might've been giving off, although Asuma shot me a glance like I'd grown an extra head. I probably was going to have to try harder if this was going to work for any extended period of time.

"Cool, well, my mom is waiting for me outside, I'll see you both tomorrow," Shisui nodded, stealing another glance at both of us. There was an unfettered sort of excitement radiating off of him. I didn't like it.

Then with a wave, he trotted down towards the door. He was gone for all of five seconds before Asuma was bothering me again.

"You sure you're feeling alright," Asuma pestered.

"Yeah," I lied once again. "I'm fine."

"Alright," he allowed skeptically, and we started out the door to head home for ourselves.

I was restless for the remainder of the day after that. My mind wouldn't stop moving. Shisui. Shisui. Shisui. He was all I could think about. Of course, Asuma's train of thought was going somewhere similar. He was babbling excitedly about missions, genin, and team assignments the entire way home, and would have continued for hours if I hadn't told him I was going to read a book for the evening.

I needed some time alone to process everything.

Maybe that had been a bad idea though. At the very least, Asuma had been a decent distraction. Once I was holed up with my book, my mind was suddenly given free reign to run completely wild. I didn't process more than a sentence or two of my book the entire evening after I picked it up. Instead I sat for hours staring at the page, looking at the same five words over and over and over again.

Here was the crux of my problem: I couldn't do anything about this. The more I thought about it, the more I understood that I was stuck. The only option that could possibly remove Shisui from my life was to fail the test with my sensei, but I couldn't do that. I was bored at the Academy, and I needed to get stronger. Flunking the second exam would mean delaying everything by at least another six months. Plus, there was no guarantee that I wouldn't be placed with Shisui again anyways after the next round of exams. I ran my fingers absently over the leaf symbol I had strapped to my arm. I had worked too hard to just give this up now.

Plus Asuma might actually kill me if I ruined this for the both of us.

If I didn't fail though, that meant I would pass. That meant I would be spending every day training side by side with Shisui Uchiha for at least a year, probably more. With students graduating the Academy so young, they had started making kids wait a while before getting any promotions. Chunin were supposed to be squad leaders, and no matter how talented you were, most seasoned ninja would grumble if they had to follow orders from a seven year old.

People like Kakashi were rare exceptions.

So yeah, there I was, with my hands tied in an unbreakable knot. The whole situation was sitting like a boulder in my stomach. I was just going to have to take this one step at a time. Maybe I wouldn't like Shisui. Then I'd be able to just drift away from him when we were promoted.

Yeah, that's what I'd have to tell myself if I wanted to sleep at night. Not that I ended up sleeping much that night anyhow.

It had been a while since my foreknowledge had kept me up at night. The last time I had trouble was probably some time during the war, back when Nawaki was still alive. Tonight though... every time I closed my eyes, I saw Shisui's looking at me, crying bloody tears with a smile on his face.

* * *

When the morning finally came, I felt groggy and disgruntled. I certainly wasn't ready to meet my new sensei. I didn't have much of a choice though - Asuma was chomping at the bit to get to the Academy. He had woken up an hour earlier than he needed to, and half dragged me out of bed when he realized that I was awake too.

"If we leave now, we're just going to end up sitting in the Academy for an extra half hour by ourselves," I grumbled, as he pulled on a new brown sleeveless hoody and tied his headband around his forehead. His new genin attire made him look twice as much like Hiruzen and Isamu as he had before. All he was missing was the Sarutobi clan symbol stamped on him somewhere. It was interesting that he wasn't wearing any clan paraphernalia, actually. He was finally allowed to now since he'd made genin, after all.

"Hmph fine," he frowned, pouting a little. I got him to hang around the house for another forty five minutes before he forced me out the door. I was grumpy as all get-out, but I had to admit it probably wasn't the best idea to be late today.

Soon enough, we found ourselves walking back into our Academy classroom one last time. Due to my stalling, we were the last two people to show up. It was weird looking at our classmates all rearranged according to team assignment. People were next to peers they never talked to before, and more than a few of them looked a little awkward.

I sighed when I saw Shisui waving to us from the third row. Why was he so cheery? I didn't get enough sleep last night to deal with this.

"Morning," Shisui sang in greeting as we walked up to join him.

"Morning," Asuma yawned in response.

I nodded to Shisui, deciding that was the best I could give him right now in my sleep deprived state. Then I allowed Asuma to slip into the middle seat.

"You two ready for some fun today? My cousin told me that most jonin instructors like to test their new students when they're first assigned," Shisui bubbled, making conversation.

"Hopefully we have the same definition of the word fun," I replied, slouching in my chair.

Truth be told, I was actually rather anxious about today. After all the stewing I'd done the night before, one thing was terribly clear to me. I  _had_  to pass whatever test our jonin instructor threw at us. Failure simply wasn't an option, and while I could pass written exams in my sleep, I was worried about how I was going to react in a real-world situation.

It didn't help that Shisui had thrown me off my game yesterday. Everything that seemed certain before suddenly felt like it was up in the air.

"Ah, don't worry about it, I'm sure we'll do just fine," Shisui told me over Asuma's head. My stomach churned a little. I didn't need his kind words right now. I didn't need them ever. What was he playing at anyways, being so nice so early in the morning? Narrowing my eyes at him, I watched as his smile faltered a little.

Hmph, so maybe there was an end to his boisterous energy.

"Shisui-kun," Asuma cut into our staring contest. "You, uh, want to play a game while we wait?"

"Oh, sure," Shisui nodded, shooting me another sideways glance.

The two of them proceeded to start playing a ninja derivative of I Spy, while I continued to sulk. Asuma was probably going to yell at me later for this, but I found that I didn't care much. I just couldn't be friendly with them right now. If I did, I think all my coping mechanisms might simply break, and I'd melt down completely.

Luckily, we didn't have to wait very long. About five minutes after we had taken our seats, two men walked into the room. One was huge with a round stomach, wild red hair, and purple lines decorating his face. The other, meanwhile, seemed a bit neater with straight blonde hair and intelligent green eyes. He was layered in the regular konoha blues and flak jacket underneath a red vest.

I pegged their identities the moment I saw their faces. After all, I was half expecting the famous Ino-Shika-Cho combination to be rearing their faces today at team assignments, even though Shikamaru's father seemed to be missing. It made sense that because Minato was a jonin sensei for my generation, the other Naruto parents might also be taking students, after all.

I would be happy working under either one of the two men standing in front of me. Now I guess the big question remaining was which team belonged with who.

Ino's father cleared his throat first.

"Team One," he said. A few rows to the side, I saw Kurenai perk up between Mogusa and Kumade. "My name is Inoichi Yamanaka, you can follow me."

"Yes sir," Mogusa answered for the three of them. Asuma waved to Kurenai as she got up from her chair. She shot him a nervous smile and waved back.

Next, Choza Akimichi clapped his big hands together. "And Team Two," he said with a wide grin. "You're with me."

"Sensei! Let me just first say what an honor it will be to have you as a teacher! My name is Maito Guy, and I am going to be the best student you could possibly ask for!" a boisterous voice broke out from behind me.

Inoichi's lips quirked a little as he disappeared out the door with Kurenai and company.

Choza seemed completely unfazed, meanwhile. In fact, I'd say he might have even been expecting something. "Wonderful," he smiled serenely at Guy. I noted that Ebisu looked like he was going to explode as he glared at his green teammate's back, and I couldn't help but smirk a little to myself. Even in my bad mood, Guy being Guy was always made my day a little better.

"He's kind of a character don't you think?" Shisui said aloud as the four of them left the room. With Team One and Two gone, it was just my team, Obito and Rin left.

"Guy's going to be one of the best ninja in the village one day," I replied, feeling unreasonably defensive of my friend. "Just wait and see."

"Well sure, I guess," Shisui frowned again. "Guy-kun works harder than any one I've ever met. Anybody whose that crazy is going to end up getting real strong. I didn't mean anything bad by it."

"Yeah," I nodded, sinking down into my chair a bit more. Really I had to check myself. This morning wasn't going very well, and I knew half of it was probably my fault. Shisui wasn't trying to start a fight with me. I was just instigating. Why couldn't he be obnoxious like half the other kids in my class? It would be a lot easier to hate someone like Kumade who'd just left with Kurenai.

Asuma let out a heavy sigh, as I fell back into silence with the boys. For another few minutes, the only two people in the room making noise were Obito and Rin. They seemed to be cheerful enough, at least. Obito looked positively smitten to be Rin's teammate, and Rin was always glad to have a friend. Seeing the two of them so happy together made me feel even worse, if that was possible.

My heart fluttered in relief when the door finally clicked open again a minute or two later. Obito and Rin's voices hushed almost immediately, and the world stood still for a moment of anticipation.

Who was walking through the door? Was it Minato? Was it our new sensei?

In stepped a man that was completely too familiar. He was tall, dressed in the typical Konoha blues, except for one white and red sleeves poking out from his flak jacket. His hair was white, just like mine, and he wore it short in the front with a long spiky rat-tail section falling down his back.

I didn't even bother hiding my jaw hitting the floor.

"Sakumo-san?"

He... He should be dead...

"That's Sakumo-sensei to you now," the man smirked. "Team Four, with me."

I felt like I was in another dimension. Every thought of Shisui Uchiha had vanished from my mind, and had been replaced with dumb struck astonishment. Sakumo Hatake had gone on  _the_  mission. He'd failed it. The village had blamed him. Everything had been by the book. He... he should have committed suicide, years ago.

I racked my mind, thinking of all the neighborhood gossip I'd heard recently. There hadn't been anything about Sakumo, I realized. Not a single word. It's not like I'd been keeping an ear out for him, of course. I didn't see Kakashi regularly anymore since he graduated, and I never really crossed paths with Sakumo either. I guess I just never thought twice about the  _absence_  of news.

Maybe I should have.

"You know him?" Asuma whispered under his breath, looking between me and our new sensei. I blinked.

"He's Kakashi's father," I breathed back. What had been different? What could have happened to have prevented him from... "I met him a while back, after I went for a run with Guy. We, uh, talked. It was just a minute though."

Shisui grinned - clearly he recognized our new sensei as well.

"I hear they call him the White Fang," he said, tone laced with excitement.

Sakumo didn't wait for us to gather ourselves. When I looked up again, he had his back turned to us and was already walking out the door. Scrambling out of our chairs, we made to follow him. He led us out of the classroom and towards the stairs, heading towards the roof.

My mind was whirling during the short walk up there.

Could I really have done this? Could my short thirty second conversation have altered this man's life so much? Or was it just my entire existence that was disrupting things? I was close with a lot of important people. Maybe something else had changed because of me. I'm sure Hiruzen worked closely with Sakumo during the aftermath of his failed mission. Maybe the Hokage phrased a sentence differently because of me, or maybe he'd been off taking care of me at some key important time. It was impossible to tell.

No matter which way you tried to slice it though, there was no denying that Sakumo was here today because of me. I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

I mean, it's not that I wanted him to die. I was happy that he'd found some happiness again, that he'd decided to live. This would be great for Kakashi, great for me now that he was assigned to be my teacher. Sakumo Hatake's life was worth half a world, I knew it better than most.

But like everything else Sakumo's presence boiled down to one thing: Would Sakumo living effect my ability to save my family? I couldn't know. I didn't really want to trade the life of a stranger for the life of my brothers or my parents.

It was too late now though, I suppose.

When we reached the rooftop, Sakumo gestured for us to sit on the set of stairs that led to the class-gardens. We filed in accordingly, with all the grace and nerves three fidgety ninja-children could muster. Shisui slid into place first, then Asuma, then me, and all the while Sakumo watched. He stood stick straight just in front of the railing with his arms crossed over his chest. He looked like he was sizing up three good pieces of meat.

"Alright," Sakumo said finally. "Let's start with lesson number one. Every successful team is built on good friendships. So on that note, the first thing we're going to do is start with introductions. I want you to tell me about yourselves, include whatever you think is important. Stuff you like, dislike. Stuff you do. Who do you want to be when you grow up, and anything else you want to share. Okay?"

"Sure, sensei, I can start," Shisui responded almost immediately. "My name is Shisui Uchiha. Uh, I like hanging out with my friends, and my cousins, and my older sister. I also like training and having competitions with them. I really don't like being bored or doing chores for my Mom." His face hardened then into a deadly serious expression. "When I grow up, I want to be the strongest ninja ever so that I can keep all of them safe."

I withheld a cringe, wishing that Shishui hadn't shared. I didn't need to hear that sentence come out of his mouth. It was probably going to keep me up tonight again.

Sakumo nodded, face completely blank, and his black eyes moved to Asuma. "And you?" he asked.

"My name's Asuma Sarutobi," he responded, crossing his arms. "I like playing games and going to the park. Usually with Nat." He kicked at my leg thoughtlessly as he mentioned my name. "I don't like it when people can't keep their promises, and..." he paused, glancing at me again. "My dream is to become a great ninja, but I want to do it my own way. I don't want to be like my dad or my older brother. I want to be known for being myself, not for being just another Sarutobi."

I raised my eyebrows, making eye contact with him. He just shrugged in return. We usually didn't talk about things like this together, but looking back, his dream made sense to me. It was interesting to see that he'd finally found a way to put all his mixed feelings surrounding his father and his clan into words. It was almost like he was growing up.

"And lastly," Sakumo interrupted my mental tangent.

"I'm Natsuki Senju," I said, rocking forward on the steps. "I like reading and learning new things. My favorite food is dango. I don't like waiting and I  _really_ don't like hospitals." I chewed on my lip as I got to the last part. What did I want from life? The answer was easy enough - I wanted to stop bad things from happening to my loved ones. I wanted for the whole lot of us to just be happy together. Unfortunately, there was no good way to say that exactly without also bringing up the rest of my baggage. I would have to settle for something less. "Um, and I guess I just want to grow up to be strong enough to protect my family," I finished, glancing sideways at Shisui. I was aware we'd both basically said we had the same dream for the future. I'm sure Sakumo had noticed as well.

"Very good," Sakumo nodded.

"Wait, Sensei, you haven't gone yet," Shisui interrupted him. "You've got to introduce yourself now too."

"Me?" Sakumo's eyebrows rose. "Hmm. Well, I like a lot of different things. I have a son whose about your age. My favorite hobby right now is teaching him how to cook. Although I think he'll be better than me pretty soon. I also don't like it when people break promises, Asuma. And lastly my dream for the future right now is to see my three new students grow up to be everything they want to be."

He smiled widely at us, and I found myself blushing. Beside me, Asuma looked mildly surprised, while Shisui on the other side of him was grinning sheepishly back at our sensei.

I turned my gaze back to Sakumo who seemed to be enjoying himself a little too much. I knew what was coming next. It was about time for the other shoe to drop.

"Of course, that's all depending on one thing," Sakumo shrugged easily. "Before I can officially call you my students, you'll just have to pass a little test first."

Alright, I swallowed. Here we go.


	16. Our Own House: Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter quote and arc title from song Our Own House by the MisterWives

**Our Own House**

_"Into my soul you stared, and broke down every fear."_

* * *

 

Sakumo-sensei released us after our quick meet and greet with instructions to find him at training ground fifteen first thing the following morning. He didn't tell us to skip breakfast. He didn't use any intimidation tactics. He just gave us a friendly "good-bye, see you tomorrow!" and called it a day.

Needless to say, I was quickly finding that my experience with Kakashi's father was going to be something wholly different from what I saw with Kakashi himself, and I can't say that I was disappointed about it. As entertaining as the mind games were when I was a reader, I could do without them in person.

Anyways, because essentially the only official ninja activity we had scheduled for the day was our meeting with our sensei, Asuma, Shisui and I were free to spend the rest of the evening however we wanted to. I had anticipated this, of course, and scheduled out the rest of my day accordingly. I was never one to waste quality free time. As it was, Hiruzen and I were going to try and sneak in a quick hour long staff training session now before lunch.

It appeared, however, that the boys hadn't thought so far ahead.

"Hey, wait up," Shisui leaped up from the stairs a few moments after Sakumo-sensei disappeared. I had been trying to make a hasty exit, but apparently I hadn't quite been quick enough.

"Mm?" I grunted unceremoniously, annoyed that he'd caught me before I could run away.

"Did you two have anything planned for the rest of the day? It's not even noon, I didn't think we'd get out so early. I figured we could, you know, hang out or something," he smiled. "Sensei said it was good to be friends right?"

I shifted uncomfortably on the balls of my feet. Shisui looked horribly sincere as he stared at us with his big black eyes. I couldn't find it in me to be short with him in response.

"Oh, well actually I have lessons," I muttered guiltily, reaching back to touch the staff strapped to my back.

"My Dad is teaching her bojutsu," Asuma explained, voice mildly strained as it always was when we talked about this.

Shisui leaned back onto his heels, and his eyebrows went up in surprise. "The Hokage is your sensei?" He blinked. "That's pretty cool."

I shrugged.

"I guess I'm not doing anything then," Asuma muttered aloud as he looked at me. "I can hang out if you want Shisui-kun."

Our third teammate grinned widely. "Great!" he beamed.

"See you later then," I said lamely to the boys. Shisui nodded, and Asuma gave me a lazy wave.

Not needing any more excuse to leave, I disappeared down the steps, heading to the room Hiruzen always reserved for the two of us. When I arrived, the room was empty, not that I was expecting otherwise. Hiruzen was usually a little late to our training sessions. It was difficult for him to pull away from his Hokage duties, even for just a little while.

Honestly though, after such a whirlwind of a morning, I was grateful for a few moments of alone time. With a deep sigh, I shrunk down onto the floor beside the wall, releasing a deep pent up breath.

The last twenty four hours had been huge, but it was all over now. Team assignments were finalized; there were no more curveballs lurking around the corner. I could finally begin to process everything. My first few days as a ninja had been an emotional roller coaster, and it was clear enough too that I wasn't handling the peaks and drops well. The sooner I could situate myself with all this, the sooner I could start reworking whatever wisp of a plan I had made before.

Sakumo Hatake was my sensei and Shisui Uchiha was my teammate. How was I going to use that to my advantage?

I was just getting my heart beat level again when I heard the door squeak open.

"Good morning Natsuki-chan," Hiruzen's deep gritty voice interrupted my thoughts. I looked up to see him stepping through the door in his black off-duty robes, using his own training staff as a walking stick.

"Morning Hiruzen-san," I chimed back, as I reached back and pulled my staff from it's holster.

The staff was a bit of an unwieldy thing to be carrying around on my back. I had to keep it in a sort of sling that would shift the weapon horizontal when I sat down. I'd accidentally hit more than a few people with it while maneuvering around the village back when I first started training.

The staff felt right in my hands though. One day, I knew I'd be unstoppable with it.

Without much more of an introduction, Hiruzen twirled his staff around in his fingers, bringing the end that had been touching the floor in a full arc behind him before slamming it down towards my head. I brought up my own weapon, completely on instinct, blocking his attack. The two wooden poles made a thunking sound as they collided, and Hiruzen's lips twitched into a small smile.

I had learned a long time ago that every minute that Hiruzen and I were in the training room together was an opportunity for a lesson. Often I even had the bruises to prove it.

"Hm, I would have thought your reflexes might have been hurting today," Hiruzen commented, almost innocently. "You didn't get much sleep last night."

I felt my cheeks flush red. Last night I had gotten up to pace around after I'd given up on sleeping. It must've been about three in the morning though, and I hadn't heard Hiruzen come home. I thought I had been alone.

"A good ninja probably should be able to function on a little sleep deprivation," I replied wearily.

Hiruzen withdrew his staff to the side, and sent another quick swing towards my stomach. When I moved to block it, he let our staffs collide, sliding his pole fluidly back along the length of mine. He took swift advantage of our tangled weapons and pivoted underneath the mess of wood to hit me in the gut with his elbow.

"Maybe," Hiruzen agreed with me, as I tumbled into the ground. "But it's always much better to be well-rested." I frowned, rubbing the painful spot on my rib cage where Hiruzen had gotten me. I could feel the bruise blooming there already.

"It's just been a busy few days, I was nervous about my team assignment, and about passing the second test from our sensei," I sighed. "I still am, I guess."

Hiruzen lowered his staff so the end was touching the floor and put his weight into it.

"Nervous hm?" he eyed me carefully.

"Yeah, nervous," I swallowed, feeling my palms start to get sweaty. See, despite my better judgement, sometimes it just felt like Hiruzen knew. Of course, that was ridiculous. The man couldn't read minds. Nevertheless, I was positive he suspected something.

Hiruzen had a special look that he reserved just for me. One that seemed to ask: Do I push her farther? Or should I let her keep her secrets another day? He liked to wear it especially at times like these, when we were alone together and I was half in turmoil. It was always a balancing act for me when he was like this. I was worried that one day he'd press in just the wrong place, and I'd say something that I'd regret.

"Hopefully you're feeling better now then?" Hiruzen mused. His gritty voice sounded deep and wise as his eyes continued to bore into me. I felt like he could sense it every time I so much as twitched. "Genin teams aren't chosen lightly. Have you ever noticed that powerful ninja in Konoha seem to rise in groups? Hashirama Senju, Tobirama Senju and Madara Uchiha; my friend Danzo and I; Jiraiya, Orochimaru, and your Tsunade. Do you think it's an accident that they call all three my students the Legendary Sanin? Hm?"

I swallowed, thinking of Team Seven. Would Naruto and Sasuke have become so brutally strong if they weren't motivated by their rivalry? Or even better, would Sakura have ever asked Tsunade to teach her if she didn't feel left behind by the boys? Maybe... Or maybe not. How come, out of the twelve ninja from Naruto's generation, were only three of them so profoundly powerful? Were they placed on the same team because they were strong, or were they strong because they were on the same team?

I'd never considered shinobi society from this angle before.

"You could be a good shinobi on your own Natsuki-chan, " Hiruzen continued softly. "You can go train in the woods and read books and run mission after mission. You'll grow up to be a fine soldier. But in order to take that extra step, to be like the heroes that you love reading about, you need something extra. You need comrades who are going to push you farther than you'll push yourself.

"Now, you've been put on a team with Asuma, your brother and best friend; with Shisui Uchiha, who I've heard is the most promising young man to come out of the Uchiha clan in a decade; and you've been put under the tutelage of one of the most renowned Jonin in the village. Perhaps you don't see it, but there's potential in the four of you to be something amazing. Hm? You worry more than any other child I've ever met. Sometimes a little perspective will be good for you."

I felt my cheeks burn red, and I looked down at my lap. Only Hiruzen could ever make me feel so... ungrateful. He'd hand picked these teams. Even when it might've been better to spread out the three of us to keep the graduating class even, he'd chosen to put one of the last Senju, with an Uchiha, the Hokage's son. Then on top of that, he'd thrown us under the tutelage of the White freaking Fang.

It was true, our team was stacked on paper. He'd put me in the spot where I'd have the best potential for growth.

"I thought the Hokage wasn't supposed to play favorites," I sighed cheekily, trying to come to terms with my fate.

"Favorites?" Hiruzen hummed back, eyes crinkling with humor. "The decisions I make are always in the best interest of the village. I've given your classmates the same consideration that I gave you. Enough talk. Get up, we've wasted enough training time for one day."

"Sorry Hiruzen-san," I groaned, pulling myself to my feet. The atmosphere in the room had changed abruptly, and the prying look in his eyes had vanished. We were done talking about this. For now at least.

* * *

 

I slept better that night. Although, I wasn't sure whether it was because of my discussion with Hiruzen or the leftover exhaustion from team assignments and training. Either way, I woke up the following morning feeling refreshed, and it was a good thing too. Lord knows, I was going to need to be alert today.

Our morning routine flew by quickly enough, and before I knew it, Asuma and I were trotting out the door towards the meeting point for today's training exercise. It was the first time I'd ever left the house fully equipped for a mission, even though our task today was going to be staged. My pockets felt strangely full from all the supplies I was carrying, and I felt ready. Whatever Sakumo-sensei threw at us today, we'd handle it.

Needless to say, I was armed and dangerous and ready to role. Ha.

As we walked, Asuma and I played a little bit of catch up. He hadn't returned home until just before bed-time the previous night. Apparently he'd been pretty busy with Shisui yesterday after I'd left them. From what I could tell the two of them had hit it off well enough.

"We went back to his house after you left," Asuma was saying. "His sister made us lunch -she works for the Konoha Police- and then we went out to a target range they have in their back yard and played with some kunai. He's got some pretty cool throwing tricks. I think he's probably even better than Genma."

"Well that's kind of the Uchiha clan's specialty, and Shisui's supposed to be good even for one of them," I pointed out, with a shrug. Asuma glanced at me with a slight frown. "What?" I asked, sensing what was coming.

"You're not going to be weird around him again today, are you? 'Cause you haven't been right since we got our team assignments," Asuma asked pointedly, crossing his arms.

"I've just been kind of stressed the past few days," I replied wearily. "You know I didn't sleep well before yesterday, and I was just kind of grumpy. I'll be better now. I promise."

"Alright," he nodded, although he didn't look convinced. "Well, Shisui's pretty cool, and you heard Jin-sensei. We're stuck with our teams now whether we like them or not. So just... like him."

"I'll try," I sighed with a nod.

Asuma and I ended up arriving at the designated training grounds fifteen minutes early, wide-eyed and anxious to start. The location that Sakumo-sensei had chosen for us was pretty ordinary. Just a big grassy field lined with trees, maybe twenty five meters long in either direction. Immediately, I thought it was a peculiar choice of location for our genin test. It just seemed too small to have a proper fight here; although I suppose that you didn't get to choose where to start a fight while on a mission. Maybe he was trying to make things difficult for us?

"You're here early!" a cheerful voice called from our left. I turned to see Shisui sitting with his legs crossed underneath one of the trees that bordered the field. He waved happily when he saw we were looking, and I did my best to give him a friendly wave back. I had meant what I said to Asuma. After all the drama the last two days, it was abundantly clear that I needed to try to make this work.

"Not earlier than you," Asuma smirked, as the two of us trotted over to join Shisui underneath the tree.

"Oh, well I didn't want to accidentally miss anything," Shisui said sheepishly, his cheeks turning a rosy red. "I've only been here for a little bit. Sensei's not here yet either though, so maybe I overdid it a little."

"Did you get a chance to look around at all at least," I asked, glancing around. It seemed smart to peruse the area while we were here alone. Sensei had picked this location, which essentially meant he had the home field advantage. He could have been here last night setting traps for all we knew.

"A little, but there's not much to see. It's just a field," Shisui told us lightly.

"Hm," I hummed thoughtfully, glancing around. Maybe the bell test might've been on the table still. That was really the best case scenario for the day, I think.

Before we could really get situated underneath the tree, our conversation was interrupted by a subtle popping noise and the rustling of leaves above our heads. I looked up in surprise to see Sakumo-sensei crouching down on a branch almost directly above our heads. He looked so big up there that I almost thought the branch was going to snap underneath his weight. Of course, he seemed to be carrying some extra baggage this morning. Strapped to his back was a large green scroll, probably about as tall as me.

"Oh, look, you're all here," he said nonchalantly, peering down at us. His lips were turned into the smallest of smiles, and he seemed utterly relaxed. I wondered vaguely how long he'd been hanging around here watching us. Probably longer than Shisui, I bet.

"You know, it's rude to sneak up on people like that," I commented lightly.

Sukamo dropped to the ground, somehow landing without making any noise. "Excuse me Natsuki-chan," he chuckled. "I didn't mean to startle you. Are the three of you ready to begin?"

"We're ready for anything sensei," Shisui beamed, hopping to his feet.

"Good," Sakumo-sensei nodded. He pulled the scroll off his back and set it on the ground beside him. Then he brought his hands together to start some sort of jutsu. For a moment, I was worried that he was literally kicking things off with a bang, but before I could fully process that concern, he bit his thumb and threw his palm onto the grass.

We coughed as a cloud of chakra smoke appeared.

When the dust settled, a white wolfish dog came into view, sitting in the very spot Sensei's palm had been a moment ago. He had a ratty looking headband tied around his neck, like a collar, and seemed to be completely unamused by the three children that were staring at him.

"These three don't look like enemies Sakumo-sama," the dog barked gruffly.

"Did he just talk?" I blinked. You'd think that after eight years, we'd all be used to talking animals. Somehow though, this was the sort of thing that always seemed to catch me off guard.

Sakumo-sensei let out a light laugh. "Kids, this is Benkei, my ninken dog. He's here to help with your test today. Benkei, this is Shisui, Asuma, and Natsuki. They might be my future students, if they do well today."

"They don't look like much," Benkei deadpanned.

"Says the talking dog," Asuma gritted his teeth immediately.

"Save your bark for later, pup," Benkei rolled his eyes.

I shifted on my feet, gently bumping into Asuma before he really decided to start a fight. "He's right, not now," I muttered under my breath. He looked at me, and let out an annoyed huff. That seemed to be the end of it though.

Off to the side, I caught Shisui watching the two of us briefly before he looked away.

"Well, now that you've been introduced, let me explain your test," Sakumo-sensei said, when it was clear we were done bickering. "I think the best way to see if you're worthy of being ninja, is to give you a sort of test mission. It'll be just like one you might get from the Hokage. You'll meet your customer, be given instructions, and then you'll have to follow them. There might be some bumps along the way, but if you run into any problems, you'll just have to decide how to deal with them as things come up. Understand?"

We nodded.

"Are you our customer then, sensei?" Shisui asked.

"No, Benkei will be," Sakumo-sensei shook his head.

"But he's a dog!" Asuma immediately started protesting.

"I was given a mission from a giant sea-lizard once," Sensei smiled. Benkei barked out what must have been a laugh. "You never know what you're going to get when it comes to customers."

I stared at him, but he seemed dead serious. One day, I was going to make him tell me that story.

"Alright fine, what's the mission then," Asuma frowned.

"This scroll belongs to Benkei. For the sake of the test, let's assume he's a powerful associate of the Daimyo, and that the contents of the scroll are crucial to a national political procedure that's taking place. It's very important that you are able to complete this mission, or else there might be bad consequences for lots of people all over the Land of Fire," he tapped the top of the scroll with his left hand. "Your mission will be to deliver it to a drop off point in Training Ground 11 on the other side of the village. Of course, like a lot of clients, Benkei is being a little difficult, and is insisting that he accompany you during your travels. You have to deliver the scroll by the time the sun sets, or else you will have failed your mission. For our purposes, that means you will have also failed this exam, and you'll be sent back to the Academy effective immediately."

"We worked too hard to get here," Shisui frowned, eyes flashing with determination. I stood a little bit straighter, feeling the anticipation growing in the air. Asuma seemed to be shifting on his feet as well. This was it. This was our time to shine.

"Then I guess you can't afford to fail. It's a simple enough mission. I'm sure there's nothing for you to worry about." Sakumo-sensei shrugged. He had a kind expression on his face, and inexplicably I felt calmer than I had in days. This is what Hiruzen had been telling me yesterday, I suppose. The village put us together for a reason, and we had to trust the process.

"What about you? What will you be doing this whole time," I asked, not missing the fact that he'd excluded himself from the mission explanation.

"Oh," Sakumo-sensei blinked, like this was the first time he'd thought about this. "I suppose I have some grocery shopping to be doing, maybe I'll swing by the market." I narrowed my eyes at him. Everything about that sentence was suspicious.

"Ready to get started?" he went on, putting a hand on his hip. We nodded. "Great, well on the count of three, you're free to go. One. Two. Three!"

Sakumo chopped a hand through the air, and vanished. Then, just like that, we were alone. There was a beat of silence before we realized it was time to start moving.

"Asuma, you should probably carry the scroll. It'll be kind of bulky for me and Shisui," I broke the tension. Pulling my staff off my back, I decided it'd be best to use it as a walking stick for the day. After all, we needed to be ready for a fight at any moments notice.

"Sure," he nodded easily, walking over to fidget with the strap Sensei had been using to carry it around.

"The quickest way to Training Ground Seven will be through the village," Shisui piped up. "If we cut through next to the Hyuuga complex, we'll be there in no time."

"Perfect, that way it'll be harder for someone to ambush us too," I agreed.

"I'll take point," Asuma volunteered. He had the scroll on his back now, and his eyes were shining with a raw kind of excitement. All that was left then was hitting the road...

"I don't think so," Benkei interrupted our little pow-wow.

"What?" Asuma whirled around. "Hey listen, we're the ninja here. We're the ones who get to come up with the plan."

"I am an advisor to the Daimyo, pup," Benkei replied, sounding utterly offended. "I can't just go chasing three rowdy ninja children half way across the village. Do I look like a babysitter to you?"

I sighed. Great. Of course, Sakumo-sensei wasn't joking when he told us our client was going to be difficult. Why in the world would it be that simple?

"Don't you want this stupid scroll to be delivered as soon as possible?" Asuma retorted, looking more aggravated than before. I sent a sharp elbow into his gut, giving him a look that said: get it together.

"The insolence!' Benkei was starting to mutter. We needed to nip this in the bud before it got out of hand. Every minute we spent arguing was just a waste to us.

"He didn't mean that," I interrupted him.

"How would you like to travel Benkei-san?" Shisui followed up, apparently having the same thought process as me.

"Well I haven't been on a walk through Konoha's woods in a long time," Benkei said, glancing towards the trail that led to the next training field over. Asuma looked at me in silent exasperation - the path Benkei wanted to take was the long way round. We'd be adding at least two hours to our trip, maybe more, if we walked the perimeter at a civilian's pace.

If we got ambushed, it certainly wouldn't give us much time for mistakes.

"Of course, we'll take the scenic route then," Shisui agreed suddenly, giving Benkei a polite bow. Asuma audibly groaned, as Benkei perked up and started trotting forwards victoriously. I just frowned. Some discussion about this might've been nice first.

"He's the customer, right?" Shisui shrugged at us, blushing slightly.

"Well, let's hurry then," I said. "I have a feeling Sakumo-sensei isn't actually going shopping today."

And with that the four of us set out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, life has been hectic lately. The next one will probably also be a bit of a wait as well. School is starting up again and who knows what my schedule will be like once the year progresses. Anyways hope you liked this!
> 
> Until next time,
> 
> Aule


	17. Our Own House: Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter quote and arc title from song Our Own House by the MisterWives

**Our Own House**

_"Into my soul you stared, and brought down every fear"_

* * *

 

We must have looked like quite the sight walking through the outskirts of Konoha - three paranoid genin and one delusional aristocratic dog, strolling along in a protective triangular formation. Asuma walked in front, so that the rest of us could have eyes on the scroll strapped to his back at all times. Meanwhile, I took his right flank, and Shisui took his left, leaving Benkei to strut in the center with his nose pointed towards the sky and his tail swishing back and forth.

I had a dog once, back when I was growing up the first time. I don't remember her ever looking half as smug as Benkei looked right now.

"Stop!"

"What is it now?" Asuma groaned, as he spun to look at our little canine overlord.

"What kind of tree do you think that is?" Benkei barked towards a leaning tree on the side of the path. He was really just messing with us at this point. After a few hours of putting up with his antics, I was positive Benkei had been given specific instructions to annoy us as much as possible.

"Why do you even care?" Asuma bristled.

"I may be an assistant to the Daiymo," Benkei sat down in the dirt. "But even noblemen like me have to have their hobbies. I also happen to be a nature aficionado."

"That's a good hobby Benkei-san. This assignment must really be a treat for you - Konoha's nature is very beautiful," Shisui commented, clearly trying to break the tension. I had to hand it to him, Benkei didn't seem to be bothering Shisui at all yet. Even though this was probably the fourth or fifth time he'd gotten us off track on our mission, Shisui was still humoring his tangents.

"It's a type of Deciduous tree, probably a Zelkova," I broke in, trying my best not to sound too impatient. "They're one of the most common kind growing around here."

All three of them paused to stare at me for a moment.

"Of course you knew that," Asuma shook his head.

"A Zelkova, of course," Benkei barked. "That's just the tree I was looking for." Then he strutted over towards the greenery in question, lifted his leg, and started to relieve himself.

"I'm going to kill him," Asuma muttered.

"Maybe after the mission, Asuma-kun," Shisui piped up, jamming his hands into his pant pockets.

"It won't even matter at this rate, we're never going to make it to the drop off in time," he huffed in response.

I looked up at the sun and bit my lip. "It's definitely going to be close if we keep taking breaks," I agreed. "... Shisui, you don't think you can convince him to hurry do you? You've got the best rapport going with him."

"I don't know. You really think he'll listen to me?" Shisui frowned, looking past us towards Benkei, who was now sniffing around the tree next to the one we had been discussing earlier.

"Well he's not listening to Asuma, that's for sure" I shrugged.

"That's not my fault," Asuma crossed his arms.

"Because you're so charming," I smirked back. He gave me a gentle shove, his expression twisted into a scowl. That of course, only made me smile wider. "Offer him a treat or something, normal dogs like that kind of thing" I suggested, looking at Shisui again. We really needed to get on task, and bickering with Asuma wasn't getting us anywhere.

So that's what Shisui did. Trotting over to Benkei, Shisui knelt down and had some sort of debate with him. After Benkei hustled a sizable bribe out of our Uchiha teammate, we were on our way again, twisting around the back dirt paths of Konoha and heading towards our drop off point.

The going was mostly smooth for a while after that. Benkei's tail swished back and forth as we made our way around the village outskirts, but he didn't demand any more stops. Asuma and Shisui started chatting idly about some different adventures they'd had on nearby training fields during their time at the Academy. Asuma was embellishing stories about grand contests he and I had shared during our training exercises - although I'd noticed he was only talking about the occasions when he'd won. While Shisui told us a little bit about the various games he would play out here with his sister and cousins in his clan. I mostly just listened, only bothering to pipe in when Asuma was starting to exaggerate a little too much. I couldn't let him get too much of a superiority complex.

Everything seemed to be going swimmingly, at least until it wasn't.

Shisui noticed it first, as we passed a familiar looking leaning tree for the second time that day.

"Um, guys," he muttered quietly, as he lifted his hand up for us to stop. "Is... is that the tree from earlier? The one Benkei made us stop at?"

I frowned as I looked at it, then turned to take a good look towards the Hokage monument - which I had been using as a sort of landmark to keep track of our progress. A few moments ago, I could've sworn that it had been almost completely behind us at the 5 o'clock position. Now, it appeared to be closer to 2 o' clock to me.

I blinked, feeling unnerved.

"Genjutsu," I stated the obvious. We must've gotten caught in this hours ago - and in such a blatant trap. There was a whole category in our genjutsu text books dedicated to making your enemies walk in circles. Having graduated from the Academy, we theoretically were supposed to be able to recognize cliche tricks like this.

"Give me your hands," Shisui said urgently. I glanced at Asuma before cautiously stretching out my palm for Shiusi. He reached out and pressed his finger to it.

"Ouch!" I yelped, pulling my hand back in surprise. It felt like I'd been shocked, but as I looked around again, the world felt sharper, like a film had been pulled off of it. Ahead of us, down the road, I could see a right fork in the road that hadn't been there before. We must've been veering left and circling around for hours now.

"Sorry," Shisui muttered sheepishly as he shocked Asuma too. "It's the best way to do it."

"I don't get it," Asuma frowned. "We never let our guard down. When could that have happened?"

"We wouldn't have noticed if the genjutsu user is any good. At least, not with something as subtle as a loop trick," Shisui shook his head. "My sister always says that until you're on like a jonin level, it's easier to be able to recognize a genjutsu on missions after you've been caught than to be looking for one all the time."

"Well you should've recognized it then! Just my luck - being assigned such incompetent ninja escorts," Benkei broke into the conversation.

That was the last straw for Asuma. I glanced at him a second before he reacted, knowing intuitively that this was about to turn bad. He wheeled around towards Benkei, chest puffed out and face turning a little red.

"Listen up scruff," Asuma started, his hands balled into fists. "If anything this is  _you're_  fault. If  _you_  didn't make us stop fifty bajillion times- no, if you just let us walk through the freaking village like we  _wanted_  to. We would have been there hours ago. So if I hear another freaking complaint, come out of your -"

"Asuma..." I tried interrupting.

" - stupid snout. I'm going to -"

"Asuma!" this time it was Shisui. I glanced over surprised to see our teammate springing forward unexpectedly.

"Wha-" Asuma stumbled as Shisui barreled into him, knocking him to the ground. There was a beat of confusion then, before a kunai whirled through the spot Asuma had been standing, and lodged itself into the ground a foot in front of Benkei's paws.

I moved without thinking then, whirling my staff up into a fighting stance in front of Benkei, our customer, and faced the tree line where the kunai had come from. A large familiar white figure was blurring towards us with a tanto out in hand.

Sakumo-sensei had taken the liberty of putting on a decorative blue and red wolf mask before attacking us, but he hadn't put much extra effort beyond that to conceal his identity. I recognized his wild white hair and the signature white and red sleeve poking out from underneath his flak jacket almost immediately. Knowing it was our sensei didn't make the situation any better, however. The boys were still in a pile on the ground, and I was still facing a notorious elite jonin with a staff that suddenly felt like a glorified stick.

His black eyes looked amused through the slits of his wolf mask as he came right for me, blade first.

Miraculously, I didn't freeze up immediately now that we were in the thick of things. Hiruzen's drill-sergeant training methods seemed to kick in like an instinct. When Sakumo-sensei slashed forwards with his tanto, I whipped my staff forward around the blade, trying to take out his wrist. He tossed his weapon easily into his other hand, however, now stabbing towards my vulnerable side. I pivoted backwards, bringing the butt end of my staff up to try and stop him. The defense half-worked. His tanto nicked the band that kept my kunai holster attached to my thigh.

At this point, Asuma and Shisui had recovered. While I engaged Sakumo-sensei directly, the boys launched themselves at him from behind. Asuma going low, while Shisui went high. Sakumo-sensei somehow saw them coming. He flipped backwards, over the lunging boys, out of our reach. That gave us the split second reprieve to file back into the defensive triangular formation we'd been traveling in earlier before having to take a second round.

"You shouldn't make yourselves such easy targets," Sakumo-sensei counseled now, as he watched us brace ourselves. "Bickering shinobi are not alert ones."

Asuma's cheeks flushed beside me. "Yeah well, we're ready for you now Sensei," he responded.

"Are you sure?" he asked casually. Then his body flickered out of sight so fast that I couldn't trace him.

It was like he disappeared. The air was suddenly eerily quiet. There was no sign of him down the road, none in the brush, or above in the trees. I felt Shisui's shoulder brush against mine as the three of us backed closer together.

"Where'd he go?" Benkei whimpered from the center of our formation.

"Where you'd least expect me," Sakumo-sensei's voice echoed through the air. Shisui moved suddenly with shuriken spinning on his fingers and heaved them towards the a bush to Asuma's right. There was a poof as a log fell forwards onto the road. Almost immediately after, I heard a crumbling sound, like somebody was grinding rocks together. A ghost of a thought flashed through my mind, something about Kakashi in another world at another time.

"Below!" I shouted, springing up into the air. A hand popped through the dirt a moment later, grasping for the spot I had just been standing in. Shisui plucked Benkei up with him as he leaped backwards. Meanwhile, Asuma pulled his foot back and tried to kick Sensei's outstretched hand. Sakumo-sensei caught Asuma's attack by the toe of his boot though, twisting his foot roughly so that he was sent reeling off to the side.

Still in the air, I pulled a kunai out and threw it towards Sensei's hand, but he disappeared back into the ground for just long enough that my kunai planted itself harmlessly into the dirt. Then he came back up, pulling his entire body out from the earth.

Shisui and I landed next to each other, while Asuma scuttled back up to his feet a few yards away. All three of us were breathing heavy.

Sakumo-sensei took his time straightening himself, brushing some dirt off his pants like he'd just taken a light tumble. His leisurely composure was disconcerting. He was making sure that we knew how easy this was for him, that he was just playing with us. I could see in Asuma's face that the challenge was only making him more determined, but that wasn't right. The moment Sakumo-sensei decided to end this, it would be over. There was no chance here at completing this mission unless he wanted us to.

What was he playing at then? There had to be some sort of trump card Sensei had up his sleeve, some lesson to be learned. This was a test after all. What was he trying to examine us for?

"He's unreal," I muttered aloud, knowing our little break would be coming to an end soon.

"I think we're going to have to run," Shisui nodded, eyes darkening. "The mission's to get the scroll to the drop off point. Not to fight sensei."

Hm, I pondered that for a moment. Running wasn't actually such a bad idea. There was certainly no point in fighting a loosing battle here. Was this what Sensei wanted us to see? Was it a test of our strategic thinking skills?

"He's not going to let us get away easily," I pointed out my only counter argument.

"I can distract him," Shisui said. There was a flare of enthusiasm in his eyes. "Then I guess you'll just have to run fast... Do you need to be carried Benkei? Or do you think you can run yourself?"

"I'll never be fast enough to outrun a ninja like him, pup! Absolutely not!" Benkei gasped dramatically. Shisui looked at me then and I nodded. Twirling my staff back into it's holster, I took Benkei from Shisui's arms. Then I stared hard over towards Asuma. With two fingers I pointed at him, then at me, then towards the forest. He frowned, biting his lip unhappily. My gaze towards him sharpened.

I was going to kill him if he did something stupid here.

"Ready," Shisui breathed under his breath.

"Let's get it over with," I whispered back.

Shisui leapt away from me then, running a wide circle around his target. Sakumo-Sensei watched him with mild interest. The glint in his eyes made my stomach feel uneasy. He let Shisui move into place, so that we completely surrounded him. Then when we each squared ourselves into a fighting stance, he tilted his head to the side, as if to taunt us. For just a moment, the entire world stood still. I hugged Benkei a little bit tighter to my chest, crouching down and ready to sprint. I had Benkei, and Asuma had the scroll.

This was it. Our moment of truth.

"Look it here Sensei!" Shisui broke the silence. In quick succession, Shisui threw two kunai at Sakumo-sensei's feet, arced four shuriken towards his midsection, and then leapt high into the air. Sakumo-sensei reacted effortlessly, taking a quick side step away from the kunai and ducking underneath the shuriken. Shisui didn't waste any time with his follow up attack. I watched as my teammate started to rapidly form hand-signs. For a brief moment, my eyes connected with Shisui's, and understanding registered.

_Run_

I darted across the field, just as a large plume of flames erupted from Shisui's lips. The shear heat that radiated off the jutsu was incredibly impressive, not to mention the size of the fireball he was shooting off. I half expected to see Sensei burning and engulfed in fire as I darted towards the clearing. He was an elite jonin though. Shisui's fireball jutsu must've been child's play for him.

Sakumo-sensei didn't move an inch as he faced down the fire that was coming for him. Then, just before it scorched him, he whipped two of his fingers in a long arc, drawing a line right through the fire from top to bottom. A whoosh of air cut through the clearing as the jutsu flared up, bolstering to twice the size it had been a moment ago. It billowed around Sakumo-sensei hotly, scorching the grass to his left and right. Up in the air Shisui was knocked back, like he'd been hit by an invisible wall.

A wind jutsu! Sensei had cut the fire ball in half with some sort of wind cannon!

I gawked over my shoulder as I ran passed Asuma.

The fire began to settle, and Sakumo-sensei straightened his back, to turn towards his remaining to targets.

I was half way down the road though, almost in the clear. A few more seconds, and this would turn into a game of chase instead of a hopeless power struggle.

"Nat! Catch!" I heard Asuma shout behind me. Turning around, I saw the scroll flying through the air towards me. For a second, I felt a wave of panic paralyze me. We were too close to sensei to be throwing the scroll around. He was going to leap forward and catch it, then it'd be all over.

He didn't though. Instead he watched as I shifted Benkei into just one arm and hoisted the scroll over my shoulder in the other.

"Go on Nat! Complete the mission. Shisui and I will catch up to you later," Asuma called as he raised his fists in front of his face.

I nodded meekly, although my feet didn't move. The path ahead of me was open. I had the customer and the scroll. The boys may have been out of their league, but it would be enough. I could complete the mission. Looking back though, Asuma was facing Sensei on his own. Shisui was on the ground visibly weak from casting a jutsu meant for a ninja twice his stature.

Everything about this situation felt wrong to me. I took a hard look at Sensei, trying to gauge his next step. Suddenly, I wanted him to chase me. That was his goal right? I had the scroll, so I should be his target now. His eyes twinkled beneath the mask with a light that seemed almost cruel, given our situation.

Then he winked.

The next five seconds were a blur. Sensei moved first, pulling his tanto blade out and  _gunning_  straight for Asuma. I dropped both Benkei and the scroll like a bag of rocks, and threw myself towards the fight. Asuma dodged the first swing of Sakumo-sensei's blade, and the second. When he swung his fist forwards in an attack though, the gap in skill caught up to him. Sakumo-sensei caught Asuma's flying fist easily in his free hand, pinning Asuma in place. The tanto gleaned in the sunlight as it swished around in a wide arc, going right for Asuma's neck.

But then I was there, and my staff was twirling. I cracked it down on his wrist just in time, forcing him to drop the blade. Sakumo-sensei's black eyes flashed towards me, as Asuma and I fell into a natural unspoken dance. I flanked right, and he flanked left. Sensei was forced to fight off both of us with one arm each. We closed on him- trying to land a hit. Just one hit. His movements felt almost impossible, like his body was the wind. Every time I thought we had him, he would block or blur just out of the way.

Then, with an abrupt pop of smoke, his body changed into a block of wood - even though neither of us had hit him. I blinked, before noticing a kunai protruding from the back end of the log. It was Shisui - he had gotten him from behind while we were distracted.

As the chakra dust began to dissipate, a few slow claps began to fill the air.

I spun around dangerously with my staff, but the atmosphere at changed. Sakumo-sensei was squatting in a tree, the wolf mask pulled off the top of his face, looking quite pleased with himself.

"Bravo, you passed," he smiled warmly.

The words were jarring. Adrenaline was still roaring through my ears. My knuckles were still white gripped around my staff.

"We passed?" Asuma repeated, as the three of us gaped at him dumbly.

"Well yes. That was excellent. You three did much better than I expected!" Sakumo-sensei beamed.

My cheeks flushed red. Was that supposed to be a compliment?

"We never even scratched you though, and the mission... we didn't complete it," Shisui protested. He had righted himself on the ground a few feet away, and was now sitting cross legged, with his hands gripping his knees.

"Think harder than that Shisui-kun. I never expected you to win a fight against me, or to get away with the scroll. Three seasoned chunin might have a hard time with a Jonin-level shinobi like me. Three genin students fresh out of the academy never stood a chance. No offense of course, this is all part of the learning process," Sensei shrugged.

"It was about how we reacted," I muttered, my mind buzzing. "You wanted to test our instincts under pressure."

"Right," Sakumo-sensei nodded, cocking his head to the side. "I put you three in an impossible situation. If this had happened on a real mission, it would have been dire. Your lives would have been in danger, and completing mission would have seemed hopeless. I can teach you three a lot about fighting and jutsu, but certain shinobi instincts can't be taught. I needed to check those, to make sure that you three were worthy of wearing Konoha's headband."

Beside me, Asuma fingers brushed subconsciously against the leaf symbol on his forehead. "So what? You wanted to see that we had good teamwork or something?" he asked, face twisted in a light scowl. "You sound like my Dad."

"Is that a bad thing?" Sakumo-sensei smiled. "But no, actually, it was more than just testing your teamwork. This team was chosen because we think you three will work exceptionally well together. I wanted to see what was most important to you three when your futures felt like they were on the line."

"And we chose to sacrifice ourselves to save the mission," Shisui blinked, seeming to come to an understanding. That was wrong though - sure Asuma and Shisui had put the mission first, but I hadn't. If this had been real life, I would've technically just put the entire Fire Nation in danger with my actions. Sakumo-sensei had told us lives depended on that scroll being delivered to the drop off point, and I had literally thrown it away to save Asuma.

"He wanted to see if we'd sacrifice ourselves to save each other," I shook my head. Shisui rocked back slightly in his seat.

It was a rather dark lesson to be teaching three children, wasn't it? But it fit. A shinobi's life was always supposed to be at the bottom of their own priority list. This career was meant for those who were willing to sacrifice it all for those around them. Comrades, the mission, the village - all of that was more important than saving yourself. It was a matter of honor and duty on paper, but also a thing of love too. Shinobi were rarely as robotic as we were supposed to be.

 _With great power, comes great responsibility,_ I thought idly.

"I dunno, it's always supposed to be about the mission though," Shisui frowned. "Sensei said that people would've died if we'd failed to deliver the scroll."

"You're both right," Sakumo-sensei cut in. "Shisui-kun, the village teaches you that you should put the mission first, no matter what. I'd like to think that being a ninja is more than just following orders though. You three need to understand something about me before we can really call ourselves a team. When you go on missions, sometimes you have to make really tough choices, and you're not always going to feel prepared to make them. Shisui, you say that being a shinobi is always about completing the mission, but yesterday you said your dream was to be strong enough to protect your family. Well what if your comrades are like family to you? How do you choose between their lives and the mission?"

Both of the boys grew quiet as Sakumo-sensei's question settled over them. I could see it in both of their faces that this wasn't something they'd considered before.

"A few years ago, I was on a mission like that, and I had to make that kind of decision. I chose to keep my comrades safe, to fail the mission and let them go home to their families. Not everyone agreed with that though. A lot of people think that we should have kept going, despite the danger and the risk. There are even villagers that don't think I should be allowed to teach a genin team because they don't want any young shinobi to be... infected with my way of thinking. Thankfully, the Hokage hasn't listened to these people's complaints and has given me the chance to teach you three. Nonetheless, I needed to make sure we were of the same mind. This was a test to see what you three each thought was the most important. And you passed. Congratulations!"

Sakumo-sensei's serious expression broke, and a wide smile stretched across his face. Pride swelled up in my stomach, and I bumped my shoulder happily into Asuma's.

"So does that mean we're going to start missions tomorrow?" Asuma asked, an excitedly.

"Yes, it does," Sensei nodded.

"Great! We won't let you down Sensei! We're going to be the best genin team you could've ever asked for," Shisui declared, leaping to his feet.

"Don't get too excited pups. Did you see yourselves during that fight? You've got a lot to learn," Benkei muttered from Sensei's feet. I snorted looking down at him. I'd almost forgot he was there, he'd been so quiet during Sensei's little speech.

"Eh, don't be a downer, Benkei-senpai. I promise I won't drop you on the ground next mission," I said.

"That would certainly be a good place to start," he let out a low growl.

Sensei's eyes crinkled at the corners as he looked down at all of us. "Okay," he said. "Well I think this has been enough fun for one day then, Team Four, you're dismissed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Sorry for the little hiatus there guys. I have been super busy with school, and this had to go on the back burner for a little while. The good news is that I finally finished the new chapter, Natsuki's finally a full fledged genin.
> 
> Let me know what you all think!
> 
> Until next time.


	18. Evolve: Chapter 16

 

 

**Evolve**

_"I don't mind this game, I don't know what to say"_

* * *

The next day was bright with the potential for adventure... or something like that. We were going to take our very first mission today. No matter what the rumors were surrounding D-ranks, it was hard not to be just a little bit excited.

Asuma, Shisui, and I were lounging at a tree two blocks away from the Academy, killing some time. Sakumo-sensei had told us to meet at nine, so naturally we had all gotten here around 8:40 out of shear excitement.

"Two weeks," Asuma was telling us, rather loudly. "That's how long it's going to take for Dad to start giving us some real missions!"

"Isamu's spent his first month as a ninja sponge cleaning the Academy floors," I commented, with an easy smile.

Asuma had been talking like this ever since Sakumo-sensei dismissed us the day prior. I think he was just mentally prepping himself for the month of mandatory chores that lay ahead.

"Well maybe if he'd done it  _faster_ , he would've gotten better missions sooner," Asuma said. He had a stubborn look on his face.

"I don't think that's how it works, but sure," I commented, snorting when he rolled his eyes at me.

Personally, I didn't really mind the idea of D-ranks at the moment. More than anything, I wanted to start capitalizing on my time with Sakumo-sensei, and D-ranks left a lot of room in our schedules for training. Plus, Asuma's idea of a 'real mission' probably involved more violence than I was emotionally ready for at the moment. I wanted to be stronger before the village tossed my team into the fire pit.

"My sister said that a good ninja can turn a D-rank into something fun," Shisui said.

"Fun? D-ranks are like chores. They just give them to us because it's kids stuff," Asuma blinked at him incredulously.

"You want to bet on it?" Shisui asked, a mischievous glint in his eye.

I raised my eyebrows up at him in surprise. The past few days, he'd been the picture of polite. I wouldn't have pegged him as the type to tease or gamble. Maybe he was starting to feel more comfortable around us? I wasn't sure if that thought was pleasant or disturbing.

Of course, Asuma was  _never_ one to pass up a good challenge.

"What are your terms?" he asked.

"Um, once we get our mission assignment, I'll think of a game or something to make it fun, and you have to play along or else its cheating," Shisui said.

"Winner treats the whole team to lunch some time," I suggested.

"You're not even  _doing_  anything Nat," Asuma deadpanned.

"I'll be the judge," I said. "That way you can't just say you didn't have any fun today to win."

"Sounds good to me," Shisui nodded.

"Alright fine, you're on," Asuma said, sticking his hand out towards Shisui. The boys shook on it, making it official.

They started chatting about different games they might be able to tailor to a D-rank. Sensei arrived a few minutes later.

"Morning," he greeted us with a smile.

"Morning Sensei," we chorused.

"Ready for your first mission?" he asked. We nodded, and the four of us started the short trip over to the mission desk.

It took Asuma all of thirty seconds to tell Sakumo-sensei about the bet he'd made with Shisui. Sensei seemed rather amused by it. He probably thought this was a good sign of bonding.

"You could turn the mission today into a training exercise," he suggested as we walked into the Academy. I glanced sideways at Shisui, who clearly considered this an excellent idea. Back home, no kid would've thought that work-practice was fun. Here though, us ninja children practically lived for opportunities to get a little training in.

"Don't cheat for him Sensei," I reprimanded lightly. "Shisui is supposed to figure this out on his own. Otherwise its not a fair bet"

"Oh, sorry," Sensei raised his hands in mock surrender.

The three of us were all in a fairly good mood. That is, until we walked into the mission desk room.

Maybe it was because the new genin teams were starting to work today. Maybe it was just because Konoha was a busy place. Whatever the reason, the mission desk room was  _crowded._  We stepped in, happy smiles on our faces, and there seemed to be two other teams grabbing mission assignments, in addition to the ten or so people that were working the desk. People were talking and papers were flying. The general buzz of daily business was everywhere.

Then, as soon as people seemed to realize we were present, the entire room fell silent and stared.

I was confused for a moment. What in the world was so special about my new genin team that caused a whole room of ninja to startle?

Then it hit me that they were all staring specifically at Sakumo-sensei.

Immediately, I felt a strong mix of angry and awkward fill my chest.

Hiruzen was the one to break the moment. He cleared his throat, very loudly, and said "Team Four, you can get your mission from me." He wasn't making any attempt to hide his annoyance, and just like that the room was back in motion. No matter what these people seemed to think of Sakumo, I guess it wasn't worth picking a fight with the Hokage over.

Sensei put one hand on Asuma's shoulder and the other on Shisui's and guided us towards Hiruzen. I fell into step robotically beside them.

It was hard to tell what Sensei was thinking. His face was completely blank, like the entire thing had absolutely no effect on him. I imagined that was what was expected of a Shinobi like him though. Whatever thoughts he had about those other people, he wasn't supposed to show them.

The boys, of course, both looked equal parts confused and shocked. Asuma, for sure, would probably try to bring this up later.

"Hm, I think maybe garden weeding will be good for today," Hiruzen said aloud, handing Sakumo a folder. "You'll be meeting Teien-san in the west district to start your mission"

"Yes sir," Sakumo-san said. The three of us all nodded politely as well.

Half of me expected Asuma to protest. I knew he felt more comfortable than most standing in front of the Hokage. He didn't though - probably because he was still thrown from the silence and the staring.

Then with that, we made a quick and quiet exit, heading towards the west district to do our mission.

Once we stepped outside, I felt like I could breath easy again. All of the prying eyes were gone. Of course, now that we were away from the crowd, my teammates were feeling more comfortable as well.

"What was their problem!" Asuma blurted out hotly.

I shot him a pained look, and Sakumo-sensei let out a deep shuddering sigh.

"I warned you yesterday after your test - some of the other ninja here don't think I should be teaching a genin team," he said, voice calm and level. Even now that we'd gotten away from the crowd, he really didn't seem upset by that entire fiasco, not even in the slightest. If anything, he was more concerned about how it effected our feelings rather than his own. Again I found myself wondering how much of this was a facade, and how much was legitimate.

"We're going to prove them wrong for you Sensei," Shisui spoke up, with sudden vigor. I glanced at him, surprised. Shisui's hand was clenched in an angry fist. The usual happy-go-lucky temperament was completely gone, and there was a stoic determination in his eyes. "They're going to see what a great team we are, and then they won't be able to say anything anymore."

Sensei blinked at him, before his lips twitched into a small smile.

"I hope that's a promise," he said crossing his arms.

"It is," Shisui said.

Asuma nodded vigorously beside him, and I smiled at them.

"Let's go pull some weeds," I said, breaking the tension, and with that, we were off to complete our mission.

The walk took thirty minutes at civilian pace. That meant Shisui had thirty minutes to figure out how he was going to win his bet with Asuma. When we arrived, we found that Teien-san, our customer, ran a fairly expansive radish farm towards the edge of the village. The moment I saw it, I was a little astonished that Hiruzen had dared call it a 'garden'.

Teien-san told us it'd been about two weeks since he'd last hired a team of genin to pull weeds from his garden, and that the recent rains had made little foreign green seedlings start spawning all over the place.

Basically, we had our work cut out for us.

Sakumo-sensei didn't seem like he would be much help. Teien-san mentioned off-handedly that he was having trouble moving some equipment around his yard, and our good natured Sensei volunteered very quickly to help him out.

Walking around to the fields, we readied ourselves for some good-ole manual labor.

"Alright, Shisui, let's hear it," Asuma said, already looking a little smug. After Teien-san's long rambling complaint about the weeds, Asuma seemed absolutely positive that Shisui was going to loose the bet.

"We're going to make it a competition," Shisui said cheerily. "I'll take the left radish field, Natsuki-chan can take the middle field, and then you'll take the last one Asuma. Whoever cleans their area of weeds first wins. But, you're not allowed to touch the dirt with your feet. Every time you do, you'll have to run a lap around the field before you can keep weeding."

Asuma frowned, probably trying to figure out how this was going to work for him.

"Ready?" I asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Yeah, let's go," Asuma nodded, determined.

Shisui reacted almost immediately. He leapt backwards into the air, drawing a kunai out from his pocket and throwing it towards his first row of radishes. It imbedded itself in the dirt, and he landed deftly on top of it.

All in all, it was a very Uchiha thing to do.

"Show off," Asuma groaned. Then he was off, copying Shisui's technique. He was bigger though, so he used two kunai to stand above the ground instead of one.

Really though, I think both of them were making things difficult for themselves. Every time they wanted to cover a new area, they were going to have to throw a new kunai and jump to it. All it'd take is a small slip and they'd be running laps.

I gave both of them a smug look and did a hand stand. Then I hand-walked forward easily into my section of the field to start pulling weeds.

"Have you ever tried a one-handed hand-stand push up contest with Guy?" I asked the boys as we started to race.

Asuma grumbled something under his breath, and I laughed.

Shisui couldn't have picked a competition more suited to my talents. After regularly training with Guy for well over a year, I was particularly good at hand stand races. In the end though, they did put up a fairly good fight. Shisui's kunai trick was pretty clever after all. Asuma ended up falling off his footholds two or three times and had to run laps.

I won the competition by a fifteen minute margin, in the end. As a prize for my victory, I got to sprawl out in the grass for a minute to catch my breath while the boys sweat through the last of their dirt patches.

Sensei appeared just as we were wrapping up.

"So who won the bet?" he asked.

"Natsuki-chan hasn't picked a winner yet," Shisui said.

Then there was suddenly, three pairs of eyes on me, all looking expectantly.

"Sorry Asuma, I think this one has to go to Shisui," I announced.

Shisui beamed, and Asuma let out a defeated sigh. He probably knew he'd lost about half way through the mission.

"Yeah yeah. I guess I'll treat you guys to lunch some time," he mumbled.

"Maybe tomorrow," I said. Off beyond the tree line, the sun was starting to dip in the sky. We were due for dinner soon, not lunch. Biwako and Hiruzen would be out working tonight, but Sakumo-sensei and Shisui had families that'd be expecting them home soon.

"Actually, I was wondering if you guys would want to come over my house for dinner tonight?" Shisui asked.

I resisted a frown, feeling my good mood falter for the first time today.

My guard had come down a little bit, I realized. I'd let myself joke around with Shisui and been generally pretty friendly. And maybe that wasn't such a bad thing. This was a little bit different though. It was one thing to be work friends and another to go over the Uchiha compound, to meet his mom and his sister, and see them be  _happy_  together.

The entire idea left a sour taste in my mouth.

This was unavoidable though, wasn't it? Shisui had invited us over twice now this week. He was clearly the kind of person who valued family, and I had a feeling he was going to find some way for us to meet them whether I wanted to or not.

I might as well get this over with now really before Asuma noticed I was being evasive.

"Sure, sounds like fun," I forced myself to say with the smallest of smiles.

"Yeah, we can show Nat your training yard," Asuma grinned.

Then we were off again.

The Uchiha District wasn't too far a walk from the radish fields. We already were pretty far out from the village center after all, and the Uchiha really were on the outskirts of town. Soon we found ourselves in front of a red-wood archway that marked the entrance to the compound.

Just beyond the gate seemed to be their main shopping area. Several civilians were walking around selling everything from food to cats to ninja gear. I think it was the busiest time of the day for the shop keepers because the air had a lively business to it, similar to the atmosphere you'd find on Konoha's main street mid-day.

It was easy to tell that we'd wandered into Uchiha territory. Basically everybody we passed - ninja and civilian - had dark hair and was wearing a red and white fan somewhere on their body. I felt a little bit out of place actually, with my wild white locks and the Senju Vajra on my sleeve.

Still, everybody we passed seemed to be friendly enough. Shisui gave basically every passerby a friendly smile and wave. Sometimes a few would shout happy greetings to him as he passed, and we were even introduced to one or two.

"That's my cousin, he owns a kunai shop," Shisui would say as we turned a corner. Or "Miss Kosai makes the best miso soup, maybe I can get her to make you guys some!"

Every time he opened his mouth, the pit in my stomach grew just a little bit bigger. Every new face I saw was another that I knew for certain would be dead in a few years.

After what felt like an eternity, we did finally make it to Shisui's house. It was really more of a flat though than a house. They seemed to be living in some sort of branch family compound.

"How many people live with you, Shisui?" I asked, opening my mouth for the first time since entering Uchiha territory.

"This is a branch family house," Shisui explained. "Everybody's got their own like, apartment, sort of, with a kitchen and bedrooms and stuff. But we all share the same yards, patios, gardens, and training spaces outside. Some families have their own houses further back in the compound. We're here 'cause my Dad died when I was really young. Mom thought it'd be good to be closer to everybody."

I nodded, because that made sense. The Sarutobi clan did something similar - giving others the option to stay in a communal building or in their own houses elsewhere. I just didn't see as much of the branch family dynamics because the Sarutobi's were smaller, less traditional, and I lived with the main family.

"Actually," Shisui went on. "Obito-kun lives right over there, just a few doors down. You're freinds with him right?"

"Oh yeah," Asuma nodded absently. "Maybe we'll say hi later."

I inwardly cringed at the thought of that. Shisui just kind of shrugged.

Then the three of us walked up the patio and into Shisui's house.

"Mom! Kaiteki! I'm home!" Shisui shouted as we entered.

"Shisui-kun! Good to see you survived your first mission," a warm voice answered. A woman with short chestnut brown hair was standing in the kitchen with her back to us. The air inside was thick with the scent of ginger and dashi. My stomach growled the minute it hit my nose. She seemed to be expecting us, I noted. The stovetop was filled to the brim with all sorts of pots and pans. I think she must've been preparing to feed half the Uchiha clan or something.

"We just weeded some gardens," Shisui said. "I brought my teammates home for dinner too."

His mom looked over her shoulder briefly to smile at us before returning to whatever she was cooking.

"Asuma and Natsuki right? It's good to meet you two, Shisui's been telling me all about your team the past few days," she said.

"It's nice to meet you too Uchiha-san," Asuma said, giving a slight bow. I guess some of Biwako's lecturing about manners must've stuck somewhere.

Well, I couldn't be out-mannered by Asuma, so I quickly gave an identical bow and said, "Thanks for having us over."

Shisui's mom let out an airy chuckle. "Call me Umi-san, please. There's too many Uchiha running around here to use everyone's surname," she said.

"You got that right," a voice quipped from just behind us. I jumped, spinning around to see who had snuck up on us. A girl was standing in the doorway wearing a smirk on her face. My first impression of her was that she looked almost  _exactly_ like Shisui. The long eyelashes, the curly dark hair, the wide nose - all of it was almost identical. Of course, she was taller, and her curly hair was longer and wild, but the resemblance was striking.

"You know, if I have to see another Uchiha today, I might throw something at somebody," she finished her thought, stepping into the room.

"I'm sure police force training can't have been that bad today dear," Umi-san replied.

"Kaiteki-nee! This is Natsuki-chan, the teammate you didn't meet the other day," Shisui grinned up at the girl in greeting.

Kaiteki glanced down at Shisui, flopping her hand down on top of his head and messing his hair. She gave Asuma a fist bump with her other hand. "Guess you all survived your first mission, huh?" she said. Then she nodded to me. "I'm Shisui's big sister and Konoha Military Police Officer in training," she said. True to her word, there was a blue star with the Uchiha fan in the center stitched onto her sleeve.

"Natsuki Senju," I nodded back. Ah, that probably had come off too stiff.

Kaiteki looked down at me for a moment before her smirk deepened just a little bit. Something about the glint in her eye made me feel even more uncomfortable than I had before. Amused ninja were rarely up to any good.

"Why don't you all sit down, dinner will be ready in just a minute," Umi-san said, breaking up our pow-wow by the doorway. We all took our shoes off and filed over to the dinner table to eat.

Dinner was... nice. Kaiteki was the life of the party, taking charge of most of the conversation. She managed to find a way to include all of us. Shisui clearly hero-worshiped her, and I could tell that Asuma liked her too. She had a way about her that was just warm.

Umi-san meanwhile, seemed content to just listen to the rest of us chatter. She smiled when we talked about the boy's bet, and poked a little fun at Kaiteki when she started to complain about her police training. Really, she was very different from Biwako-san, but not in a bad way. She was softer and more open. I wondered vaguely if she was a civilian.

When we were sufficiently stuffed, Umi-san released us to play in the yard for a little bit. Asuma was hell bent on showing me their target range. Admittedly, it was pretty impressive, as far as target ranges went. We took turns showing off our throwing styles for a little while before starting to wear out.

"I think we should head home Asuma-kun," I said wearily. It had been a long tiring day, and tomorrow would likely be another one.

"Ung yeah, Sakumo-sensei's going to want to meet us early again tomorrow," he agreed.

"Do you guys want to take home any leftovers?" Shisui stretched his arms out over his head. "Mom would kill me if I didn't ask."

"Nah, tell her we said thanks though," Asuma shook his head.

"Okay, well, see you tomorrow then," Shisui grinned at us.

"See you tomorrow," I nodded back.

Asuma and I departed together from the Uchiha compound. I felt my shoulders sag the minute we were finally away.

"They were nice," he commented with a yawn.

"Yeah," I agreed. "Yeah they were."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arc Title and Chapter Quote from Song Evolve by Phoria


	19. Evolve: Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arc Title and Chapter quote from song Evolve by Phoria

**Evolve**

_"Eating us alive, all these young bodies turn. Evolve on a word."_

* * *

Turns out, Asuma's grand master plan to get out of the D-ranks quickly was a bust. For three weeks, we crammed in as many missions as possible, only to find more waiting for us the following day. We weeded gardens, tracked down lost pets, babysat, delivered mail, and more. Sometimes Sakumo-sensei came with us for the D-ranks. Other times, he left us to fend for ourselves.

All the meanwhile, we took every spare moment to squeeze in team training, and while Sensei's attendance on missions might have been spotty, he was religious about our training.

The first day of group training, immediately following our genin test and the radish weeding mission, went something like this:

"Alright, today we're going to work on finally making the three of you into decent ninja!" Sakumo-sensei greeted us amiably. He had a twinkle in his eye that immediately made me wary. Although, to tell the truth, I was rather excited to start group training with  _the_ White Fang.

"Hey, we're already pretty decent ninja," Asuma protested. Sensei smiled. I think he was making fun, pulling our legs just to egg out a reaction. Knowing Asuma, it was probably the perfect motivator to start off a new training regimine.

"Sure, for three kids that just graduated from the Academy," Sensei said, his tone matter-of-fact. "But there's a lot the Academy doesn't teach you. There's a lot of skills you'll have to learn before you impress anyone."

"Skills like what?" Shisui asked. He had his arms crossed and was staring at Sakumo-sensei with wide attentive eyes.

"Well, why don't you tell me. What basic things have you seen older shinobi do, that you think you'll need?" Sakumo-sensei turned the question around.

"Tree walking," I replied almost immediately. "And water walking. And some new jutsu... a lot of new jutsu actually. "

The Academy actually only taught you three E-rank jutsu in total - the transformation, replacement, and clone techniques. Literally everything else was left for either your jonin sensei to teach you, your family to teach you, or for you to learn on your own. I don't think I could name a single person who didn't have at least  _something_  else in their arsenal.

I was itching to try learning something new. Preferably a technique that was a bit more exciting than just the regular old same-old average ninja stuff.

Sensei nodded. "That's a good start. I'd also add some specialized taijutsu, the body flicker technique, and some survival skills to the list as well. New jutsu will be the last thing we tackle. It's important, but more ninja die in combat because they can't use body-flicker to dodge or because they can't water walk to fight on a river."

I saw his point, but I still felt a twinge of disappointment settle in my stomach. Asuma grumbled something under his breath as well. When I glanced over at Shisui however, he was nodding, very serious. Well, I refused to let Shisui the seven year old out-mature me during our first team training day, so I straitened my back and tried to be more attentive.

Tree-walking would be flashy enough a technique for the time being.

"Don't worry, it won't be as boring as it sounds. It's more than just learning some new skills. I also want you three to learn to apply them as well. We're going to be doing a lot of sparring over the next few weeks," he reassured us.

That made all of us perk up quite a bit. Isamu talked about sparring with his teammates sometimes, and it sounded awesome. We did 'spar' occasionally during taijutsu lessons at the Academy, but it wasn't quite the same. There wasn't much involved in the way of strategy because everyone was under the age of nine. Plus, all types of jutsu and weapons were always strictly off limits because of the gaps in skill between clan kids and civilians. Frankly, it had always felt a little bit like play-fighting.

Now that we had a jonin to supervise, we'd have to take off the kiddie-mits. Genin had to be ready for real fighting situations. We'd spar with each other accordingly.

Sakumo-sensei went on to explain that we'd start regular team sparring after we became mildly proficient at tree-walking. It certainly gave us plenty of incentive to try and barrel through the first of our genin lessons. We'd set up rules, he said, so that the spar would specifically target using our new skill during a combat situation. Then every time we learned something new, we'd change the rules to focus on incorporating the new thing.

For a team that spent a lot of time making up games to get through D-ranks, this sounded like a great challenge. In retrospect, maybe we shouldn't have gotten so ahead of ourselves. See all of this hinged on us taking the first step- tree-walking.

And let me tell you. Boy, was I bad at tree-walking.

After a brief explanation of the technique theory, Sensei lined us up in front of three trees, and set us loose. I took a moment to stare up at the tree trunk looming above me before I folded my hands into ram seal. Pushing chakra down towards my feet was a strange feeling. I took extra care to keep it tight and bound in my coils while I manipulated it. The potency of it sort of itched. Once I felt reasonably certain that I had enough coating my feet, I launched myself towards the tree.

I made it three steps up the trunk, probably just from shear momentum, before I heard a loud cracking noise and was thrown backwards.

My breath whistled through my teeth as I hit the ground. The imprint of my foot was smoking on the tree.

"This isn't going to come quickly is it?" I groaned, looking back up towards the forest canopy. It seemed farther away than it had a moment ago. Untouchable.

Sensei shot me an empathetic smile that wasn't surprised. Not even in the slightest. Then as if to exacerbate my point, Asuma flopped down to my right, not having summoned enough chakra to stick to the tree at all. Shisui, at least, made it ten steps up the trunk before being repelled backwards.

The three of us had a long day of training ahead of us.

It was the old demons coming back to haunt me again. I'd gotten around poor chakra control in the Academy by just using more. With tree walking, chakra control was mandatory. Every time I tried sticking my foot to the damn tree truck, I sent wooden splinters flying everywhere. After a week of training, I'd singed the bark off of several trees on our preferred training ground, and the imprint of my foot was scarred into several more.

Asuma and Shisui had much better luck. Shisui graduated to water walking after just a few days of practice. While Asuma wasn't quite the prodigy, he'd be moving on soon as well. Watching their progress, while I struggled, made everything much worse.

I started filling my free time with constant tunnel-vision style training to compensate. I'd go to the woods in the morning before missions, at night after dinner, and always on the weekends when we had time off.

After a little while, I managed to get myself halfway up the tree by shear force of will. If I kept things up like this, I'd probably be able to finish the tree-climbing challenge in another week or two. That seemed like a lifetime though, knowing that Shisui might be done with water-walking by then.

The sun was starting to set on a Saturday evening when I was starting to feel a long day of training start to take its toll on me. I'd covered a new tree with foot imprints today, and frankly my body wasn't looking much better off. I could feel a layer of salt encasing my skin from hours of sweating in the sun. My elbows were quite scratched up as well from a few of the tumbles I'd taken while falling backwards off the tree.

Biwako was probably going to scold me later for over exerting myself. The lecture wasn't going to be new for either of us.

"Natsuki-chan, it looks like you've made some progress today," a familiar voice cut through my groggy weariness.

"Sensei," I turned around surprised. I didn't realize he knew that I was out training. It was our day off after all. I figured he'd be somewhere spending the day with Kakashi.

"Do you mind if I walk you home?" Sakumo-sensei asked, dark eyes sweeping over me, probably taking notes of my heavy breathing and scratches.

"Yeah sure," I nodded slowly. It was an innocent enough request, but I could tell there was something he wanted to say to me. It was written all over his face.

We walked in silence for about five minutes before Sensei decided to start.

"I'd like to talk about your chakra," Sensei commented innocently. His tone was casual, like he was making a bland statement, even though we both knew it was anything but.

"What about it?"

"I believe it's unbalanced," Sakumo-sensei told me, hands in his pockets.

I frowned. The comment sounded suspiciously like a diagnosis. It made me nervous. I was so tired of feeling broken.

"So, um, what's that mean?" I asked.

"Have you ever heard of yin and yang chakra?" Sensei replied, answering a question with a question.

"Sure, isn't that like physical and spiritual energy," I nodded.

"Almost," he smiled. "Spiritual and physical energy are things that make up chakra, its what your body makes naturally. Yin and yang energy is actually a type of chakra. They're almost like nature alignments. Every person usually has a predisposition towards a specific ratio of yin to yang.  _Usually_ , that ratio is fairly equal."

"But mine's not?" I said, following his train of thought. The word  _unbalanced_ echoed in my mind.

"It seems to be predominantly yang affiliated," he nodded.

We walked in silence for a moment while that digested. Sensei had his hands in his pockets, and seemed content to let me take in the new information he was giving me. His presence was silent and held no judgement. Whatever way I wanted to react to this, he'd deal with it.

"That's why Tonbo was the only one to be able to sense anything when I was having trouble in the Academy. He must be able to tell the difference between yin and yang chakra... but things like the byakugan can't?" I muttered. Biwako and Jin-sensei had put me through so many tests when I was in the Academy. Nothing had ever come up. Not even when they'd called a Hyuga in to look directly into my chakra network.

From what he was saying though, it wasn't anything to do with my chakra network, or its connection to my brain. That's what they'd ultimately been looking for before - a physical inconsistency. The way Sensei was talking, it seemed that the very nature of my charka must be... unwieldy.

"Tonbo is the most powerful sensor that the village has seen in ages. He has the ability to sense things that even his teachers can't. They're trying to teach him how to control it, but they're starting to reach a point where Tonbo will need to start teaching himself. His teachers can't help him identify things that they haven't ever seen themselves. You're lucky he happened to be on Isamu Sarutobi's genin team. If he hadn't been, you might've never learned to cast justu," he said.

I swallowed. That would've sucked.

"Alright, so what now? How do we fix it so I can cast jutsu like a regular ninja?" I asked him.

"We can't," Sensei told me simply. "You can't change your yin to yang chakra ratio any more than you could change your chakra's nature alignment. You're going to have to learn how to function with your chakra as it is."

His words felt like a gut punch.

"That's it then? I'm just always going to be behind everybody? I won't be able to perform any good jutsu?" I demanded. My stomach felt like it was twisting into knots. Were these past years all for nothing? Was I doomed to always be just shy of good enough?

"No," he said, decisively without any hesitation. He looked me in the eye with complete and utter confidence. "Unbalanced doesn't mean that you can't perform jutsu, it just means that it'll be harder for you. I can't send you to another shinobi with yang dominant chakra because I don't know any others that exist. You'll have to learn what makes it tick by yourself. But with some practice, you should be able to do almost everything that your teammates can do."

"Almost," I quoted him.

He sighed.

"Yes, almost. Some jutsu rely on yin and yang chakra. Specifically genjutsu is yin affiliated, and medical ninjutsu is yang affiliated. Now, most people can't manipulate one or the other. We call it another form of kekei genkai when somebody actually can - like the Nara for example, and their shadow jutsu. When your average shinobi casts a genjutsu, the jutsu will only use the yin portion of their chakra, even if they can't separate it. The yang is mostly just along for the ride," he explained. "Since your chakra is naturally lacking yin energy, you'll probably never be able to cast a good genjutsu. Or even if you  _could_ , it probably won't be worth the chakra cost. There will be some advantages too. I think you'll be very good at  _breaking_ genjutsu, and if you can ever hone your chakra control in, your medical ninjutsu could be something to rival your cousin Tsunade."

Then he smiled.

"Different is never a bad thing for a ninja," he finished. "One day, you might figure out how to turn this disadvantage into a weapon."

I frowned, still feeling fairly disappointed about the whole thing. I was absolutely positive that this had something to do with the reincarnation nonsense. Although, I guess I was never going to be able to prove that one way or another. Something had gone wrong when I was born, and I'd forever be living with the consequences.

"Guess if anybody's going to help me figure it out, it's going to be Konoha's White Fang, huh Sensei?" I asked with a sigh.

He let off a good-humored laugh.

"Of course," he agreed.

* * *

Asuma, Shisui, and I rolled up to the mission desk on a Monday morning, another week or two after my talk with Sensei, without any particular enthusiasm. I was expecting some sort of courier mission - I'd taken a bet on it with Asuma. Based on the last few weeks of missions we'd taken, Mondays seemed to be heavy mailroom days for the village. Basically, I was trying to be clever to shirk some extra chores off onto him.

Hiruzen cleared his throat as he studied the three of us.

"Hm, it's probably about time the three of you took an opportunity to leave the village," he grumbled aloud, to all of our surprise.

Just like that, he had ever bit of our attention.

"You're giving us a real mission?" Asuma blurted out in disbelief.

Hiruzen gave him an unimpressed look that said:  _don't make me change my mind._

 _"_ Have you ever heard of Santaun?" Hiruzen asked.

We shook our heads.

"Hm. It's about a week's walk North from here. The village is on a fault line, and a lot of their buildings were destroyed in a recent earthquake," Hiruzen explained. "It's a C-rank mission. I expect you'll be gone for at least three weeks, maybe four. They'll provide for you during your stay."

"That's just like a D-rank but outside the village," Asuma frowned.

"I think that's the point of C-ranks," I commented.

Sakumo-sensei cleared his throat, giving the two of us a look.

"We'll make the village proud Hokage-sama," Shisui announced.

That actually made Hiruzen smile, but I could tell we were starting to wear out our welcome. I think deep down Hiruzen loved it when we actually acted like kids around him. That being said, this was a village-wide operation they were running out of the mission desk room. If we hung around too long, we'd be a disruption.

"Alright, thank you for your time Hokage-sama," Sakumo-sensei said. Then he led us out the door, putting a firm hand on Asuma's shoulder to keep him from protesting.

The minute we were outside, we let the excitement loose.

"This is going to be great," Shisui bubbled almost immediately. "I've never been outside the village before."

"Me neither," I realized after thinking for a moment. I figured my first life, where I was essentially born on another planet, didn't count.

"Guess it might be fun," Asuma grudged.

"Oh come on, it'll be an adventure," I poked at him. He swatted my hand, but his good mood was starting to show. Whatever cool-guy persona he wanted to front, the prospect of something new  _had_  to be refreshing for him.

Sakumo-sensei put his hands in his pocket and waited a moment for us to calm down.

"I'm going to give you three the morning to go pack," he told us. "Take everything you think you'll need for the month and meet me by the village gate."

"Any recommendations Sensei?" Shisui asked.

"Ah, don't forget extra medical gauze and wrappings," Sakumo-sensei smiled at us. "You three are going to get a lesson in ninja travel this week."

With that, we split from our little group of four and went towards our respective houses. Asuma and I raced each other back home, taking to the rooftops instead of walking the streets. I ended up winning. After all my taijutsu training with Hiruzen, I could finally match Asuma in a shear speed contest almost every time. Although, he was never too far behind me.

To my surprise, when we walked into the house, Biwako was home. She was in the kitchen, cleaning up some dishes that we had left from breakfast. I cringed a little when I saw that she'd caught us slacking on our house duties. We'd both assumed that she'd be out at the hospital all day, and that there would be time later to cleanup later without her noticing.

"Oh, hey Mom," Asuma greeted, giving me a panicked look.

"Natsuki, Asuma," Biwako replied, turning around to give us the stink eye. "I hope you've come back from your genin duties early to finish your house chores."

Asuma visibly flinched.

"Of course, Biwako-san," I nodded, shuffling forward to take the plate from her. It would take Asuma and I ten minutes to finish cleaning the small mess we'd left behind that morning. Even if we had some packing to do, that was worth not getting a full scolding from Biwako.

"Um, guess what," Asuma said tentatively to Biwako, as he joined me near the sink with a drying towel. He was clearly trying to change the subject - a classic ninja distract-and-reroute technique. Luckily, Biwako seemed to be in a good enough mood still to play along.

"What?" she asked. Her calculated stare flickered towards her son.

"Dad gave us our first C-rank mission," he told her. "We're going to get to go out of the village for a few weeks."

To my surprise, that did actually earn her full attention. The displeased mother expression faded immediately, and was replaced by a frown.

Hm.

I wouldn't think that this would be that surprising to her. After all the D-ranks we had been taking, it was about time Hiruzen had upped the stakes a little. We weren't even the oldest of her children to take this step. Isamu went out of the village all the time with his team. Hell, he was a chunin now. Sometimes he was even in charge of the out-of-village escapades.

"Where are you going exactly?" she asked us.

 _"_ Santaun," I answered because Asuma might've forgotten our destination already. "Hiruzen-san picked the mission out for us. Said it was about a weeks walk North."

Her frown deepened.

"Is there something wrong with that?" I asked carefully. She didn't just looked surprised now. She seemed concerned.

A pregnant pause filled the air.

"You just make sure your team is careful on this mission, okay?" she said slowly. "Santaun is a small village, but its closer to the border than some people think is wise."

"It's just a clean up mission, Mom," Asuma said. "There was an earthquake, and they asked for our help rebuilding. We're not even going to get to fight anybody." He said it like that was a bad thing.

Biwako pursed her lips.

"Asuma Sarutobi, I want you to promise me that you are going to be  _careful_  while you are on this mission. Do you understand me? You should  _never_  let your guard down when you are close to other nations like that," she glared at him.

"Alright, alright, I promise," he grumbled, crossing his arms and shooting her a surly pout.

"Sakumo-sensei's coming with us," I told her. "I'm sure it'll be very safe Biwako-san."

She looked at me, and her eyes looked tired. Really tired. It was disquieting.

"A ninja can never be too careful," she said, repeating her point. "But you two have some packing to do, right? Hurry up. You don't want to make your team wait for you."

She shooed us up the stairs, and hovered while we packed. One nice thing about having ninja parents were that they had some experience traveling outside of the village on missions. Every now and then, Biwako put in her two cents about extra items we should bring. She also happened to have some extra medical equipment lying around that she thrust on us.

All in all, we left the house feeling very prepared for the supposedly menial C-rank that lay ahead.

After seeing Biwako's reaction to our assignment though, I wasn't terribly surprised later when things went wrong.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> Surprise! Bet you weren't expecting an update from me only about a week after the last chapter. I actually just graduated from college last month though, and I've found myself with a lot of extra free time on my hands now. Hopefully the next chapter will be out within the next two weeks as well!
> 
> Thanks so much to everyone who left a comment on the last chapter. Remember to leave another with your thoughts on this one!
> 
> Until Next Time,
> 
> Aule


	20. Evolve: Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arc Title and Chapter quote from song Evolve by Phoria

**Evolve**

_"In the middle of your desert where I only make it worse, light them up and know that its done"_

* * *

Things didn't go to shit immediately of course. In fact, the first part of our mission was pleasant.

We left the village through the north gate, barely able to contain our smiles. The area surrounding Konoha really shouldn't have been that exciting. We were named the Village Hidden in the Leaves for a reason. For the most part, woods and forest stretched in all directions. Still, there's something wonderful about firsts. The forest beyond the gate was something new - a frontier for us to explore.

It was also a fun to finally test out some of our survival skills.

Hiruzen had told us that it was a week long walk, and we had every intention of making it in about four days. That meant we'd be doing some travel via trees and would work on some chakra-enhanced running. It felt good to finally stretch my legs. I spent a lot of time racing around the village - with Asuma, with Guy, and I suppose recently with Shisui as well. It was rare, however, that we had the space to let go for hours on end.

This trip was going to be the first chance the three of us had to travel like real ninja.

The first day, we ran until about nine o'clock at night before picking a spot to make camp. Sakumo-sensei explained to us that we had to strike a balance between covering long distances, and traveling at night. For obvious reasons, it was always better to stay clear of the road after dark. However with chakra, it was very possible for a shinobi to run straight through the night at full pace. Every time you left the village, you had to make a decision whether to risk ambush in the dark, based on how urgent your mission was.

Given that it was currently November, the sun was setting around five every day. Sensei explained that we'd run for four hours into the night to give us a little experience with it, but no more than that. A basic C-rank mission like this had low risk of conflict, and Santaun wasn't expecting us for a whole week.

"Treat every trip out of the village like one into enemy territory," Sakumo-sensei told us, as we set up camp. "We'll run four watch shifts tonight, and move out at dawn."

Sakumo-sensei took the first shift, probably because the three of us were fairly exhausted after the long day of running. Then Shisui took the second shift, I took the third, and Asuma took the fourth.

Sleep was a little funny on missions. Technically, you're never supposed to let your guard down outside of the village, but of course everybody needs to sleep. The Academy taught us that we'd eventually have to master something called 'mission-sleep'. If you're doing it right, mission sleep allows you to rejuvenate yourself, while also allowing you to jump into action without any notice. The catch is that they can't teach it to you. Sure, part of mission-sleep depended on your ability to have complete control of your body's energy, to control the exact state of shut down you wanted to be in. Some part of it, however, also depended on a healthy level of shinobi paranoia. That meant we'd have to actually get ambushed a few times before we had it down.

As it was, the three of us still were enjoying our youthful innocence. Therefore, when Shisui woke me in the middle of the night, I felt horribly groggy and sluggish.

"If you need a minute to wake up, I can stay up with you for a little bit," Shisui offered, as I tried blinking the sleep out of my eyes.

"No thank you," I snapped, without really thinking. Shisui blinked before nodding and returning to his own sleeping bag.

I was being anti-social. At one o'clock in the morning, I didn't want anybody's company, least of all Shisui's. A few minutes later, when I was awake enough to think, I realized that my tone had been all ice and no gratitude. Hopefully Shisui wouldn't take that personally. Although, in my low-functioning groggy state, I had probably  _meant_  it to be.

Ah well.

That night was uneventful otherwise. I spent my watch shift staring at the trees, only glimpsing of a few rabbits here and there. Two hours later, I woke Asuma up and had a quick nap before dawn came. Given that it was my first night camping outside of the village, I felt reasonably refreshed. Still, it was easy to see that last night had been the bare minimum. Just enough sleep that you'd be fully functioning, but not enough to make you feel like a Disney princess in the morning.

I'd always choose to spend the night in my own bed, protected by the village, if ever given the choice.

That second day of travel was just as uneventful as the first. The difference was that we had an earlier start, so we ran for even longer. I was starting to see how draining a full day of running could really be. Especially because Sensei was pushing our pace just beyond what was comfortable. I think he wanted us to walk away from this feeling sore, so that in the future we'd get faster with it.

Soreness, however, was something that I knew how to cope with. I realized what the hardest part of this trip would be mid-day, when we took our lunch break. Sensei explained to us that we were going to stop for an hour, and no more. Then he started dividing up some tasks for each of us. At this point, it had been a full day and a half since I'd last practiced tree walking, and I quickly realized that Sensei wasn't budgeting me any time to continue during our rest periods.

This mission was going to severely cut into my training regimen, and I was not happy about it. Back in the village, I had projected mastery of tree-walking to be done in about a week's time. That was dependent on a psychotic schedule though, that started at sun-up and ended at after dark every day. It simply wasn't feasible to continue on the road.

Well, frankly, I found that unacceptable. I  _needed_  to keep going. I needed to talk to Sensei.

It took us about fifteen minutes to set up our lunch campsite. Sakumo-sensei was going to rotate our duties, but for today I gathered firewood, Shisui and Asuma hunted, and he started the fire to cook. If the boys didn't find enough wild game, we'd resort to ration bars.

I made a point to hustle through my job as quickly as possible.

"Sensei," I said, as I returned to our campsite with a handful of sticks.

"Yes, Natsuki-chan?"

"Permission to use lunch hour to practice tree-walking?"

He frowned for a moment, giving me a serious appraising look. He was probably weighing the likelihood that I'd collapse from exhaustion tonight. Like I said, we were pushing our pace pretty hard. Less than an hour of training wouldn't usually effect me that much, but on top of all the running... well, who knows. I'd never tried this before.

"Alright," he nodded after a minute. "But you take it easy. You've been relying too much on your chakra to run. After lunch, keep up without enhancement."

I nodded, pulling out a kunai with a triumphant grin. Still, something about that statement did catch my curiosity.

"Are you a sensor Sensei?" I asked.

"Of a sort," he smiled at me, tapping his nose. "I wouldn't make it in the Sensory Division, but I catch some of the little things. If you'd been making any attempt to hide your chakra at all, I wouldn't have noticed."

I nodded, filing the comment away as a challenge for later.

Five minutes later, Asuma and Shisui returned with a few squirrels to find Sensei nursing a young fire, and me sprinting up the side of a tree.

"Hey, she gets to train?" Asuma said. His lips twisted into a familiar surly pout.

"There's no water here for you to practice water-walking," Sensei told Asuma sensibly. He clearly didn't want this to turn into a full blown training session. If he gave Asuma permission to work on something, then he'd have to let Shisui train too. If he opened that pandora's box, we'd never be back on the road in a timely manner.

At least he'd found a reasonable way to dismiss Asuma. It would've sucked for him to have said,  _Natsuki is very behind and needs extra time to catch up._

As they continued that discussion, I bolted up the tree again, making it about an inch higher than my first attempt, while Shisui took the initiative to plop down next to Sakumo-sensei with the squirrels. The two of them began to skin them. Meanwhile, Asuma hadn't moved, hovering a little to watch me cut another line into the tree. For a moment, I debated breaking to convince him to go help with camp. Even if I didn't want to, I knew that he'd listen if I told him this was just extra time to make up for my weaknesses.

Thankfully, it didn't come to that.

"Actually, I did want to discuss your training Asuma. Have a seat."

That worked like a charm. Asuma floated over, deciding to sit on Shisui's other side so that he could see Sakumo-sensei's face across the fire. Shisui handed him a squirrel to start working over while they talked.

"Shisui, how would you describe your fighting style?" Sensei started the conversation.

"Um, medium range ninjutsu, and some taijutsu," Shisui offered.

"Mm, what kind of taijutsu, specifically?" Sakumo-sensei pushed.

"The Uchiha style, we use a lot of kunai, shuriken, ninja wire and stuff. My sister taught it to me, but its official clan training. They would've assigned someone to me if she wasn't around," he elaborated.

"How about Natsuki. How would you describe her style?" Sakumo-sensei nodded.

"She uses a staff," Asuma replied.

"So it's taijutsu, but focused around a specific weapon. She fights very different from the leaf style taught at the Academy. Staff techniques are more fluid, focusing on redirecting momentum. Next time you fight, watch her. You'll notice she usually aims for your wrists, ankles, or side," Sakumo-sensei said. "How about you, Asuma. What's your fighting style?"

He paused, thinking this question over for a minute.

"Just the leaf style, I guess. Taijutsu," he mumbled. He'd been offered clan training, I think, some time around when we started jutsu at the Academy. I remember Biwako dragging him out for a meeting with his grandfather after school. But he'd refused it. Asuma was adamant about making things his own way now. The last thing he wanted was to be 'just another Sarutobi' with the Sarutobi fighting style.

"Right, and there's nothing wrong with that. A lot of good ninja just use the leaf style, but it is a little predictable, don't you think? If everyone uses it, that means a lot of people know how to counter," Sakumo-sensei commented.

Asuma frowned. And I mean really frowned. He hadn't thought about this. Not ever. Sakumo-sensei had just effectively taken down Asuma's entire world-view on fighting. Not to say that he was bad at the leaf style taijutsu he'd been using for the past few years. Quite the opposite actually, he was a natural. Still, now that Sensei had pointed it out, the weakness of that sort of specialization was glaringly obvious. If Asuma continued down this path, he'd be starting every fight at a disadvantage.

Even Guy, who lived, ate, and breathed taijutsu, seemed to know better than to use the Academy leaf style. He was working on inventing his own combat style - the Strong Fist.

I felt bark splinter beneath my foot as I pushed myself back off the tree. This time, I hadn't made it up to my last few kunai notches. I was getting too distracted by Sakumo-sensei's lecture. Gripping my kunai a little harder, I refocused.

 _I'll get three quarters up the tree before we break,_  I told myself, before charging again.

When Asuma hollered to me that it was time to leave a while later, I was pleased to see that I'd accomplished just that.

And so the rest of the travel went on, just like that, with little change in routine. There were a few minor hiccups. Lunch the second day, we couldn't find any hunting game, and had to eat ration bars. Then just after dawn the third day, Asuma got his vest caught on a branch and it tore. Shisui ended up mending it for him.

Still, beyond those minor inconveniences, we didn't have any real problems. There weren't any enemy nin hiding behind bushes. We didn't brush tails with civilian outlaws or bandits. It was everything a C-rank should have been - completely and utterly boring.

In the end, we made it to Santaun in exactly four days, just like Sakumo-sensei had said. By the end, the three of us were thoroughly exhausted. Sensei had pushed us to our limits. After I eased up on the chakra enhancements, as per his request, I started to  _ache_  when I crawled into my sleeping bag every night.

Still, I could see his reasons.

Seeing what the daily grind was like for real ninja, doing real missions, was enlightening. Today, there wasn't a reason for all the effort, but next time, maybe when it actually mattered, we'd know what to expect.

Plus, the villagers were about to be pleasantly surprised by our prompt arrival.

Santaun was located in the shadow of a mountain. It was surrounded on all sides by a thinly wooded area with plenty of cute wildlife running around. It still felt a lot like Konoha, probably because we hadn't let the Land of Fire yet, but Sensei informed us that the world wasn't so familiar on the other side of the mountain. Once you crossed through a valley path several miles east of here, the ground started even out, giving way to long plains and tall grass.

Once we were within spitting distance, we dropped out of the trees to complete the last leg of our trip on the main road. Didn't want to scare the civilians, after all, by descending on them unexpectedly from above.

Plus, we'd been passing downed trees for an hour or two at that point. The earthquake that had shaken Santaun had taken much of the surrounding woods with it. As we got even closer to the town, tree travel was becoming less and less feasible. Without saying anything to each other, we all subconsciously picked up the pace.

The earthquake was over, but seeing all the fallen trees had made us a little nervous. If the terrain was this bad miles away, what kind of sorry state would the town be in? We were all suddenly very anxious to arrive. It'd make us all feel a little better to see the civilains walking around, alive and okay.

Of course, when we came up upon Santaun itself, the damage was devastating.

"There's barely anything left," Shisui whispered aloud, gaping at the pile of rubble that was Santaun. The trees here were worse than before. For every one still standing there was one lying on the ground. The town itself was in complete ruin. It looked like they typically had a wall running around the length of the town - the road was supposed to lead up to a stone archway. Instead, we were walking towards a pile of rocks.

"Must've been some earthquake," Asuma mumbled in agreement.

Slowly the four of us scaled the rocky rubble, so that we could get a view inside. We peered down a street cluttered with debris to see quite a few civilians mulling around. Some of them seemed to have more of a purpose than others, clearing out rubble and sifting through damage. Others were simply sitting, staring out at the remains of their homes.

Sakumo-sensei cleared his throat, attracting the attention of a few of them.

"Excuse me, my name is Sakumo Hatake, and this is my genin team. We're ninja from the Village Hidden in the Leaves. Could somebody please take us to Mayumi-san?" he said formally.

A few of the civilians exchanged weary glances. Then, a down-trodden man, maybe in his forties, approached us. He had straight brown hair that was sticking to his forehead in stringy lumps, and a bandage on his right cheek. He didn't seem particularly excited to see us. Maybe it was because we were so young. A team of ninja children wasn't something that usually inspired confidence with civilians, no matter how competent we may or may not have been.

"My name's Touma, I can take you to her," he said. His voice was sounded gritty, like sandpaper rubbing over wood.

"Thank you," Sakumo-sensei bowed in response.

Clamoring down from the rubble, we made to follow our new escort. He was walking with a slight limp, I realized, favoring his left leg. Maybe he had an injury from the earthquake? I was curious. After a moment's deliberation, I decided a little reconnoissance couldn't hurt. Doing my best to look like your average unassuming eight year old girl, I trotted up so I was walking right beside Touma. The boys fell into step just behind us.

"Did you live over that way Touma-san?" I asked, starting with a question that seemed safe.

His lip twitched. "Used to," he said. I nodded, expecting half as much.

"I'm sorry your home was destroyed," I said quietly, trying to be considerate. He just shrugged, so I went on. "Were you inside when it happened?"

"No," he grunted. I waited, hoping he'd elaborate more, but he didn't. I guess he wasn't in the mood for talking much. Well, so much for making new friends. You couldn't say I didn't try. If I had wanted to, I suppose I could keep prying, but it wasn't worth it. We were about to go see their town leader. She'd give us all the information we could possibly want about the earthquake. There was no need to antagonize this random civilian.

"Well, we're here to help clean up. I'm sure you'll be back home no time," I said, closing the conversation.

Touma's dark eyes rolled towards me wordlessly, and the lines in his face seemed to deepen. He didn't really look like a man ready to rebuild. I think my comment might have actually exhausted him. Frowning, I slowed and fell into step with Asuma, leaving the Touma alone to his thoughts.

Of course, Asuma hadn't been paying any attention to my short conversation with Touma. Instead, he had been using our short walk to take in the the rest of the town.

"Anything interesting?" I asked quietly.

"It's going to be a long mission," Asuma shrugged, eyeing all the ruins. I nodded, and looked around with him for the rest of the walk.

As Touma took us further into the heart of the small town, the reconstruction efforts became more obvious. Destroyed houses were neater, and various building supplies were lying around. Eventually we started passing a few plots that had been cleared out completely and were starting to be redone. The closer we got to the center, the more people we saw, until eventually we turned a corner and found a massive camp site.

It seemed they had all gathered together and set up one communal space that was supporting everyone. People were sitting around fires here, all eating bowls of brown stew and talking and laughing together. The buildings around this area looked much better. Clearly, this was where most of the reconstruction efforts had been focused thus far.

The atmosphere lightened the moment we stepped into the campground. In fact, the hope here was practically palpable. It was impressive.

Someone had really rallied this community, convinced them all to ignore their own homes and work to rebuild the whole town through one effort. I was excited to meet this Mayumi-san that Sakumo-sensei had mentioned. She had been the one to send for us, so she must've been one in charge. Any lady who could direct an operation like this had my respect.

Touma led us through the encampment. We weaved around some kids playing tag and adults lounging around in sleeping bags. Then Touma had us circle around one of the fire pits.

"Mayumi, the ninja are here," he announced as he interrupted a group eating their dinner.

An older woman with grey hair and a long face looked up from the fire chatter, looking from Touma to the four of us.

"Ah, very good Touma-chan," she grinned. The woman put down her stew to greet us. She was very tall once she stood up - almost as tall as Sensei. She certainly towered over Shisui and I.

Touma seemed annoyed with her, almost immediately.

"You must be Mayumi-san. My name is Sakumo Hatake, and this is my team of genin," Sensei began to introduce us. "This is Asuma Sarutobi, Shisui Uchiha, and Natsuki Senju."

Mayumi looked at each of us, and she seemed to perceive a lot more than Touma had back at the gate. I wondered vaguely if she recognized our last names. We certainly were an impressive group if you knew the social context.

"We appreciate that the leaf village has sent their brightest youth, and with such haste," Mayumi smiled. "Sit with us and have some dinner. You too Touma. There's no good in running back to the wall at this hour. Sit with your neighbors."

The other villagers widened the circle for us, and we squeezed onto a wooden log together. I managed to wrangle a spot on the end, with Asuma between me and Shisui. Sakumo-sensei took the spot beside Mayumi, while Touma begrudgingly sat on her other side. I didn't miss the side long stares that some of the other villagers sent our kind escort.

I got the feeling that he wasn't very popular with the general crowd.

A few minutes later, a heavy man walked over and handed each of us a bowl of the brown stew, and we spent the next few hours socializing. It was fun, meeting some of the other villagers and learning about the town. Apparently earthquakes were fairly common in this area. There was a fault like running along the length of the mountain not too far from here. This had been the worst natural disaster they'd had in years, though.

Mayumi told us that we'd be assigned sleeping bags together by one of the fires, then tomorrow we'd wake up with the town to help out wherever we could.

"Touma, why don't you keep an eye on our guests tomorrow. I think having a guide might be good for them," Mayumi said cheerfully. By this point, we realized that she got a kick out of annoying Touma. She had been treating him like a grumpy younger brother all night.

"Fine," he said, completely and utterly unamused. Her eyes flickered down to his leg, the one he had been limping on, before she looked happily back towards the fire.

"The four of you should probably be getting some sleep soon then," Mayumi said finally. "I imagine it's been a long day for you, and we're going to need you at your full strength in the morning."

Sakumo-sensei smiled.

"Of course," he said. "Bed time kids."

Asuma rolled his eyes, and Shisui hopped up with an amiable smile, stretching his arms up over his head. After the long day of running and all the commotion meeting the villagers, I was honestly ready for a good night's rest. Together, we trotted over to our designated sleeping area and sprawled out.

"Night guys," Shisui said as we started to drift off.

"Night," Asuma muttered back. I didn't respond, and instead just let sleep take me.

* * *

Now you might be wondering why Santaun bothered hiring ninja to help with their reconstruction effort. There had to be at least five hundred villagers mulling around here, probably more. You'd think that one man and three children wouldn't make much of a difference at all.

Well, think again.

The following day, we saw, not for the first time, the difference that a little bit of chakra could make.

Mayumi put us to work hauling supplies to the construction site. At first, I thought we looked pretty silly standing with Touma and a group of fully grown men. Then I realized that I could easily carry three times the weight that even the strongest of these civilians could. It wasn't even much of a strain. The wood beams were too long to carry completely by myself, but if Shisui, Asuma, and I lined up, we could stack seven or eight of them on our shoulders. The others didn't dare take more than two or three at a time.

In short, the villagers spent the whole day gaping at us as we worked circles around them. Mostly we just carried things from construction site to construction site, but once or twice a villager would ask one of us to help sift through the rubble remains of their homes.

"It's the first time most of them have seen ninja use their magic to help," Touma told us later that day, after Asuma muttered something under his breath about the stares we were getting.

"I thought Santaun hired ninjas kind of often," Shisui commented confused.

"Ninja are expensive," Touma spat back. He sounded bitter. "We wouldn't have ever called you if Mayumi didn't say we needed you. Anyways, most of the time if you see a ninja walking around here, you won't live to tell anybody about it."

I frowned, remembering Biwako's words of caution.

"Are you attacked often?" I asked, trying not to look concerned about it.

Touma's face flashed.

"Attacks happen every few years. Usually whenever your folk are fighting your wars," he said quickly. "Anyways, the mountain protects us. It's more work for them to get here than we're worth."

That hardly sounded convincing. Still, nobody around here seemed too too concerned. Usually if people thought they were going to be waylaid, they would be nervous. It wasn't too uncommon for desperate civilians to lie about danger in an attempt to solicit even the bare minimum of ninja assistance, but usually it was easy for us to see through them. It's about what's underneath the underneath, right? At the very least, ninja could usually tell when civilians like these were being deceptive, even if they didn't know what about.

But the only person around here who seemed jumpy was Touma. Nobody else had a mind for anything other than the reconstruction efforts. It didn't fit that only one villager would be nervous if all of them were going to be attacked.

I eventually decided that, though an attack was unlikely, it wouldn't hurt to stay vigilant. While we worked on various buildings during the day, I always kept an eye towards the mountains.

Once we had established our routine with the villagers, I was able to discern where my training fit in. There weren't exactly many trees standing around Santaun, what with the earthquake damage, but Sensei managed to scout a few ten minutes outside of the town walls. He gave me permission to slip away an hour before work every morning to work on my tree walking.

It made me feel better about the general safety of the town. He wouldn't let me wonder around by myself if he thought the village would be attacked.

There was one morning mid-week, when Shisui asked if I wanted any company. I turned him down.

"I'll do better without an audience for now, thanks," I told him. "Maybe once I'm making some more progress."

"Alright," he muttered quietly. Then he let me go.

A week later, things officially started to go south, but the first straw wasn't an outside threat, like you might think.

Asuma and Sensei had been pulled that day to help carry stone materials, while Shisui and I had been sent to help with wood. They'd split us like this because Asuma was the biggest of us three genin. He was the oldest and the strongest, so he could carry the most weight. Sensei, being an adult, of course could carry even more.

I was less than thrilled.

The past month, I had gotten fairly used to Shisui's presence, but being stuck with him for a full day still wasn't my cup of tea. It was easier being with him when we were in groups and he wasn't focused solely on me. I decided to made an extra effort to talk to some of the civilians that day. It was innocent, and certainly could've been excused as just general friendliness. Shisui liked the civilians anyways. He'd probably pick up a conversation with one of them too.

Then, close to noon, I found myself trudging alone with Shisui in silence as we carried several wooden beams towards the outskirts of the village.

"Do you want to stop and take a lunch break after this?" Shisui asked tentatively from behind me.

I felt my stomach twist at the thought of an hour alone with him, just talking.

"No thanks. I actually meant to find Touma today for lunch. Haven't talked to him in a few days, you know" I said breezily.

Suddenly, the wooden beams in my arms got heavier and I tilted backwards. Letting out a strained grunt, I quickly deposited them on the ground before I hurt myself.

"Hey, Shisui, what's going on?" I asked, craning my head around to see why he'd dropped his half of the load.

He was standing in the dirt with his arms crossed, staring at me. His lips were twisted into a sharp frown, and his cheeks were tinged red.

"Do you have a problem with me?" he asked, point blank.

I blinked. He'd caught me completely off guard.

"You know, Asuma told me you'd been acting weird since we became genin, but I don't think you're being weird at all. I think you just don't like me," he said.

The blood rush to my cheeks. What the hell was I supposed to say to that? His words felt like a slap in the face. Maybe because they were almost true.

"Listen, I don't hate you, okay?" I blabbered out, like a reflex. I knew immediately that my tone hadn't been right, hadn't been convincing. I could feel myself getting defensive... and angry. Who did he think he was, just confronting me like this?

I didn't want to explain myself to Shisui. I didn't want to talk to Shisui at all.

"You've been trying to avoid me ever since we got assigned to Team Four together. Don't lie to me, I'm not stupid," Shisui glared at me.

"You're over reacting," I accused him. This topic was too close to home. I could feel everyone's lives balancing on my shoulders. They were too heavy for me, and Shisui's would make me buckle. I refused to take it.

"No I'm not," Shisui shook his head. "Just tell me what it is, okay. 'Cause pretending like this is just stupid."

"I'm not pretending anything," I pressed.

His cheeks puffed out, and he looked like he wanted to say something more. Instead, he just shook his head.

"Yeah? Well whatever. I'm going to go eat lunch by myself," he said. Then, without giving me the chance to respond, he took off.

Part of me knew that I should follow him, but I didn't think I could say anything that would make it better. The back of my throat felt suddenly tight, and my eyes were burning slightly. If I chased him, we'd have to talk about things I had been avoiding my whole life. The thought of being vulnerable like that with him made me feel sick to my stomach.

Instead, I found myself taking off towards the woods, leaving the building materials abandoned on the ground. I went in the opposite direction of Shisui, and didn't stop running for thirty minutes. Once my legs ached a little, and I was certain I was alone, I let the feelings bubble over.

Why was it always me? Why did I always have to be the one to fix the broken things? I never asked for this. I didn't want to be stuck on Shisui's team, so close to getting hurt again, the way I was hurt before. I wanted to be happy, to be safe, and for my family and friends to be happy and safe too. Why did this place have to be so god damned dangerous?

An animalistic growl ripped through my throat as my fist went flying into a tree. The bark splintered a little, and my knuckles stung. The pain brought some focus though. The need to do something, to be productive and get my mind off Shisui Uchiha and the future, washed through me.

Without thinking, I jumped backwards and formed a ram seal with my hands. I could feel the chakra running through my coils more than I ever had. It pulsed through me, like my frustration taking life. Tonbo's words echoed through my mind:  _Your chakra is a reflection of your entire being._

An hour later, I found myself standing upside down at the very top of the tallest tree in the area, sticking to it with only the pads of my feet. I was half filled with disbelief.

Despite it all, however, I didn't feel any better. Not at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Here's the new chapter! I had some trouble churning this chapter out - it didn't want to be written. I'm excited for the next one though. I accidentally wrote half of it when I was trying to figure out where to split this mission up.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who left a comment on the last chapter! I really appreciate all the support. Remember to let me know what you think of this one!
> 
> Until Next Time,
> 
> Aule


	21. Evolve: Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arc Title and Chapter Quote from song Evolve by Phoria

**Evolve**

_"If all of this flies apart, he will never know why"_

* * *

I guess I had to return to Santaun now.

The sun had started to sink in the sky a while ago, and I was still a thirty minute run from town. I knew I was going to be in trouble when I got back. They'd want to know why we were fighting. Except I couldn't really explain my side of things. Asuma was going to be furious with me, and who knew what Sakumo-sensei would say. I'd alienated a teammate, ran off without permission, and hadn't told anybody where I'd gone.

Yeah, I wasn't looking forward to this part.

With a labored sigh, I started back off towards the town. My return journey ended up taking longer than expected - probably because I wasn't running in an angry sprint anymore.

When I approached the gate, someone was waiting for me. I could feel a pit in my stomach forming the moment I saw their silhouette.

"Sensei told me you'd be coming back soon," Asuma greeted.

He was sitting on top of the rubble with his arms crossed and his cheeks puffed, and his eyes were steeled with scrutiny and anger. There was a rigid line in his shoulders that was tensed, unmoving.

"Well, um, thanks, I guess. For waiting," I muttered, kicking at the road.

There was a moment of silence between the two of us - the calm before the storm. I could see the questions, the accusations sitting there about to boil over. I swallowed. Then he let it out.

"What were you thinking, running away like that?" Asuma demanded, loudly. "Everyone's been worried, and Shisui won't even tell us what you were fighting about."

Shisui hadn't told anybody? Well, I suppose that was probably a good.

"I was mad, okay? I just needed to get away and clear my head. I didn't mean to be gone so long, but I lost track of time," I gave him my half-hearted explanation. Of course, that didn't make anything better. Not at all.

"Mad about what?" he demanded.

"Shisui and I got into a fight."

"Yeah, I know that. But what'd he do?"

I bit my lip. He was trying to exonerate me, I realized. If I gave him a reason, any reason, he'd side with me. I was a sister to him - he was trying to give me the benefit of the doubt, because he thought I deserved it. Because he trusted me.

_His mistake,_  I thought bitterly.

"I was just mad, alright."

His face twisted, and he shot me a poisonous glare. "You  _never_  just get mad. You've been acting weird around him since we got our team assignments. No, you might've been avoiding him even  _before_  then," he said, sounding horribly frustrated.

Another pause.

I felt awkward. Whatever you wanted to say about Asuma, he was pretty damn observant when he wanted to be. But there wasn't anything more to tell him without breaking everything down.

Finally he shoved a finger towards my face. "Whatever your problem is with Shisui, get over it. He's our teammate now, and that's it."

Then he spun around and stalked back towards the town center. I quickly chased after him.

When we got back to camp, things didn't seem so off kilter. At the end of the day, Shisui and I were two outsiders having a squabble. Our fight didn't effect the rest of the villagers at all. They were busy making dinner, organizing rebuilding efforts, and setting up sleeping bags for the night. A few people waved to us as we walked by, but nobody specifically seemed concerned.

Sensei was sitting on the ground by the central fire, beside Mayumi. His legs were criss-crossed, and his hands were resting on his knees. The moment I saw him, he caught my eye. Thankfully, I didn't see Shisui anywhere just yet - that was my one saving grace at the moment.

"She's back," Asuma announced unceremoniously, as he plopped down in the circle.

I shuffled awkwardly behind him, giving Mayumi a slight bow.

"I'm sorry Mayum-san for my absence this evening," I said immediately. Putting team drama aside, she had been the one that I had wronged by running off. They'd hired us to rebuild the town with them, and I'd skipped an evening of work. It probably wasn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but I still had to apologize.

"We'll think nothing of it," the old lady smiled, her eyes twinkling. "Even shinobi must be children sometimes."

My stomach turned. That was a little condescending. But I guess, who was I to defend myself? Konoha had to save face, right? Better she blame me for being an eight year old than blame the whole village.

Sakumo-sensei barely had to say anything. He shot Mayumi a grateful smile, and rose to his feet.

"A walk, Natsuki-chan?"

I nodded, only sparing one glance towards Asuma - who was still very angry - before falling into step with him. He led me to the edge of the camp, to a point where everyone was still within view, but slightly out of hearing. There was a lot going on still. Nobody was really paying attention to us.

"I'm sorry for disappearing like that," I blurted out almost immediately.

He gave me a level look.

"I wouldn't say it was your finest moment," he commented. His voice was very calm, and... non-judgmental.

Um...

I didn't know exactly how to respond to that. He was waiting, with his gaze fixed lazily on me, expecting... something. I wasn't fooled by his casual posture. The past few weeks had shown me that Sensei could be more observant than Biwako, while being twice as subtle.

"It was stupid. We're too close to the border, and I shouldn't have just left. If I needed personal space, I should've told somebody, anybody," I started rambling, almost on reflex.

"You're right," Sensei agreed calmly.

I blinked. Where was the anger? The scolding? The lecture? It had to be coming, didn't it?

"I'm right?" I repeated, now very confused.

"Yes, you should have told somebody," he nodded. "You seem to be very guilty about it."

I opened my mouth and then closed it again, because, well yeah. I guess I was feeling pretty guilty.

"Would you like to tell me about the fight that you had with Shisui?"

I stared.

"Not really?"

I was testing him. Was he really going to drop it at that? He was our ranking officer - more than that, in fact. He was our Sensei, our mentor. He had every right to press for details, and he also had a lot of weight to hold over our heads. If he wanted to know more, he could make us drop the mission and return to Konoha. He could threaten to tell Hiruzen, either as my legal guardian or as the Hokage. If he was really feeling passionate, I suppose he could ground us, tell us we'd never be ninja again unless we gave us a full report of the argument. There were a million possibilities, but they only mattered if he went there.

"I used to captain a full cohort during The Second Great Ninja War. Trust me, I've seen plenty of ninja bicker. I suppose we're all shinobi. Fighting is what we do, right?" he said at length. "Then again, Shisui seemed pretty upset earlier. Whatever is going on between the two of you, it's bothering him. It had been for a while now. Maybe it's not the... afternoon walk, let's call it, that's troubling you. A guilty conscious is a powerful thing. If it feels wrong, it probably is wrong," he finished softly.

I looked at my feet.

"I think I might go to bed, Sensei. If that's alright with you," I mumbled.

He nodded.

"I'll see you in the morning," he said. "And Natsuki-chan, congrats on completing your tree-walking exercises today. I'm sure your teammates would be quite proud of you."

I practically face-planted at the comment. It was so casual. So completely and utterly unassuming. The way he'd said teammates, plural, was maybe the icing on the cake.

When I walked back over to the sleeping area, I found Shisui already there. He was curled into a tight ball in his sleeping bag, completely lax with his lips slightly parted. He looked peaceful.

Slipping into my own bed, right beside him, I rolled onto my side so I was facing the opposite direction. There was a lot of tossing and turning before I finally drifted to sleep. Then, of course, I didn't find any peace with my slumber. The nightmares had mostly abated a while ago, but every now and then they would come back with a vengeance. Tonight was pretty bad. One minute I was looking at Shisui and his bloody tears falling from empty eye sockets. The next, I was looking at Asuma, lying on his back, the side of his face looking scorched with a burn and his eyes glassy.

I dreamt of Sakumo-sensei too, which was particularly unusual for me. Kakashi was there, running into his house to find his father lying in a pool of red.

When I woke up startled, my shirt sticking to my back in a cold sweat, that last scene was the one I sought comfort in. Sakumo-sensei was here with us now. The time for that gruesome crime scene had passed already. Sensei had  _chosen_  to live,  _chosen_  to be with us.

Taking a deep breath, I laid back down in my sleeping bag and closed my eyes again, just focusing on my breathing.

When dawn came, I felt subdued. I had technically slept enough that I wasn't going to be exhausted, but the dreams had really gotten to me. I felt icky, like somehow in every version of the future, the bad things would be my fault.

Mechanically, I got up with everybody else and got ready for the day. The villagers gave us some rice for breakfast, and I ate beside Touma in silence. Our grumpy escort had appeared again that morning after going a few days without talking to us, and seemed to silently have begrudgingly decided that I needed the company of a friend.

Shisui more or less avoided me for most of the morning. We made eye-contact briefly while getting up, but hadn't actually spoken. It was awkward now. Neither of us had anything more to say to each other, but we couldn't exactly get away either. Just seeing him made my stomach twist.

Was this what the rest of my genin experience was going to be like?

Finally, Sakumo-sensei gathered us to dish out assignments for the day. Asuma had been with Mayumi for most of the morning. When he came over, he shot me an unfriendly look before sitting on my right.

This was not great.

"Alright, today's going to be a little different," Sakumo-sensei cleared his throat. "Mayumi told me the village needs more supplies, so we're going to help them travel to a stone quarry town a few miles from here. However, there's still a lot of work that can be done with the materials they still have. We're going to split up so we can continue working and help with the supply run. I think I like the divisions we had yesterday. Asuma, you'll come with me for the supply run, Shisui and Natsuki, you'll stay here together."

Ah.

I glanced side-ways at Shisui. He looked just as unhappy with this arrangement as I was. Unfortunately, neither of us could really challenge the decision. Very smooth, Sensei. He had just shackled us together with a get-along assignment.

He just smiled innocently at our grimaces.

"Good, we'll be back in no time. Make sure to report to Touma to get assigned to a construction site. Come on Asuma, you need to grab any gear you want for the trip," Sakumo-sensei said. Asuma nodded towards the two of us as he got to his feet. I think that was the closest we were going to get to a goodbye for the moment.

Shisui and I were left alone to go find Touma. He turned up by a supply wrack in camp, picking up a pile of empty buckets.

"Reporting for service, Touma-san," I greeted, awkwardly shifting beside Shisui.

Touma's eyes flickered up towards us, and made a deep grunting noise in his throat. "We're going to start on the wall," he said. Then he started limping away on his bad leg, towards the main road. Knowing that was all the direction we were going to receive, we fell into step quickly behind him.

The guy was a man a few words.

The walk to the outer edge of town was fairly short. In a way, it was nice to see all the progress we had been making. Several buildings in the heart of Santaun were completely finished, and most of the others were in some middle-stage of construction. The wall was one of the last things on Mayumi's to-do list.

That might've seemed a little counter intuitive, I guess. After all, it was the only form of security this border town had from outsiders. But really, if we're being honest, no wall would ever stop a ninja from coming in should they want to.

Anyways, my point is that the wall was in the same rocky state of disarray that it had been in when we'd first arrived. Clearly, there was a lot of work to be done.

Shisui and I set to it with vigor. We both were determined to ignore each other as best we could, and the easiest way to do that was to throw ourselves into the day's construction. I found that we were actually very good at silent communication. See, construction required a fair amount of team-work. The rocks for the wall were heavy, and they took two people to lift. Still, neither of us wanted to ask the other for help, so instead we tag-teamed things without asking. We would heave the heavy rocks into their place at three times the pace of the civilians, if only because it meant we'd be able to separate that much sooner.

The morning passed with moderate progress and a fair amount of awkwardness, but overall it was uneventful.

Touma kept fairly close the entire time. They had him carrying a bucket of cement caulk to seal stones together. It wasn't a stressful job. His lame leg prevented him from doing too much of the hard labor. Still, he seemed to be having a hard time. Shisui and I found ourselves pausing frequently so that he could catch up with us. When it came time to break for lunch, he dropped the bucket on the ground like it was on fire, and leaned up against a section of the half-rebuilt wall.

He looked dead tired.

"Can I give you a hand Touma-san?" I asked tentatively.

He looked up at me, and for a moment, it felt like maybe he needed help with a lot more than a bucket of cement. The look was gone the second I registered it.

"I'm fine," he shook his head, righting himself again. He looked away from me then, glancing towards the woods. I bit my lip, and took the bucket from him anyways.

"I think they're giving out sandwiches by the main road. Come on," I said.

Wordlessly, he followed me, and the three of us- Shisui was still following along in silence - made our way sullenly towards the break area. Now that I wasn't immediately preoccupied with working, however, the silence started to become oppressive. Shisui's presence lingered on my left like an itch that I couldn't scratch.

So I decided it'd be a great time to bother Touma.

"What did you do to your leg, Touma-san," I asked quietly. "Was it the earthquake?"

His entire body stiffened like a board, and he suddenly changed his gait, to better hide his limp. "Wasn't the earthquake," he said. Then he touched the bandage on his cheek. "This was."

Hm, it wasn't an answer. He'd certainly pricked my curiosity, but obviously didn't want to talk about it. I couldn't justify pressing him for more either. It was hardly mission-pertinent information. At least now I had a small distraction to wonder about, instead of focusing completely on Shisui.

When we made it to the gate, Shisui and I fell into the silent teamwork thing again. He pushed passed me, to lead Touma to a rock to sit on while I broke off to get sandwiches for three. There was a small line by the lunch basket, and I had time to steal a look backwards.

Shisui's face had been a mask of nothing all day. I guess I was looking for some sign of the cheerfulness that I  _knew_  belonged in his features. Even now though, while he was talking quietly to Touma, he seemed too serious.

I did that, I realized.

It didn't help that we seemed to be working decently together today, despite everything.

If Asuma and I had gotten into a fight, it would've been much more petty. He would've gone out of his way to make my life as miserable as possible. That's what he did to Hiruzen after all, whenever he was mad at his father. If Shisui treated me like that, I could just retaliate with the same. It would feel different, justified.

But no.

He wasn't the kind of person to get angry and take cheap shots. Everything about him was innocent and polite and kind. His mask was up to hide his disappointment in me. To hide the way that I had hurt him.

And in a way, I hated him for it. I hated that I felt so ugly when he acted like this.

"The sandwiches are tomato today," I announced when I returned to our awkward little circle.

Touma grunted, as I pointedly didn't look towards Shisui while handing him his lunch.

"They've been tomato all week," Shisui mumbled quietly to himself. He didn't sound particularly bitter about it, maybe just a little wistful.

He was just trying to fill the silence just as much as I was.

"Isn't much variety when an earthquake topples trees over half the nearby farms," Touma shrugged, glancing once again towards the woods. Hm, was that the third time he'd done that today?

Vaguely, I wondered if the town border just made him nervous. He'd been the first one to spot us when we first came to Santaun. That meant he must've been the one watching the closest.

"Maybe Sakumo-sensei and Asuma will come back with some food stuffs," I said, after another awkward pause.

Touma shrugged.

Yeah, if I ever decided to list the most awkward lunches I've had in my two lifetimes, this one would probably be up there. We continued to take turns pulling teeth for a minute. Shisui would say something. Then Touma would say something pessimistic. Then I would say something. Then Touma would grunt. And so on and so on.

Soon I resigned myself to the situation and gave up talking all together. It was easier, after all, to just shut them out for the time being. Shisui didn't want to talk to me, and Touma didn't want to talk to anyone. So why try?

That mindset though. That one, right there, where I shut the world out and tumbled inward. Where I stopped focusing on the way Touma glanced towards the forest, and the way Shisui started notice it.

That was almost my fatal mistake.

It happened quickly. So fast, I didn't even process it, until it was over. I was kicking my feet into the dirt, ignoring everything. Then Shisui was in my face, pushing me to the ground. There was a clang of metal, then a snide chuckle.

"Ah look, the kids did come out to play today," a deep voice rejoiced.

My heart spasmed in my chest, and my hand immediately went to my staff.

I spun it wide around my back, twisting just in time to see a pink blur jumping back. Three people were standing in the middle of the road just outside the town border- two men and a woman.

The one who Shisui had just engaged was in front, kneeling on the ground in a predatory crouch. His long pink hair was tied back in a tangled bun, and he was holding a long slim sword - a katana - with a decorative red handle.

That man had just been very very close to me, right in my blind spot. Shisui had just saved my life.

"Touma-san," Shisui said, voice level and calm. His kunai was still steady in his hand, and he was fixated on the enemy ninja. "I think maybe you should take everyone back to camp."

The villagers didn't move right away. They were just standing there, staring, and Touma was the worst of all of them. His hands were shaking while sweat beaded on his brow. He was fixated on the other ninja - on the pink-haired man specifically.

"Touma-san," our enemy repeated, mockingly. "Aren't you gonna run? Or did you want to stick around, see me kill a few more of your friends?"

My lips thinned out at that comment. Touma had run into this guy before? Hadn't he said that people usually didn't run into ninja around here and make it out alive?

Oh, and this guy was definitely a ninja. You could tell by his bright hair and the way he was taunting us. He was the kind of guy who looked for himself in Bingo Books, who wanted you to hear his name and feel fear.

Behind him, his friends both looked vaguely bored. The other man was a giant - at least seven feet tall and built like a boat. His fingers were flexing around a battered looking pair of brass knuckles. Meanwhile, the woman was slim with dark hair and a black boxy tatoo around one of her eyes. She had a subdued intelligent look to her that immediately made me nervous. More-so than the other two, I felt her watching Shisui and I carefully, probably perceiving too much.

None of them were wearing headbands anywhere I could see. That was important. Missing ninja had to be strong enough to escape and evade their home-villages. Even the weaker ones weren't exactly pushovers. The way I judged it, at best these three were chunin rank missing nin, and would slaughter us quickly. At worst, they were jonin-level, and would be cruel with this battle just because they could.

Shisui and I had been ninja for a month. We were dangerously outranked, and we both knew it.

"You know him?" Shisui asked Touma.

Touma still didn't answer. They still had him frozen with fear. I guess that answered his question well enough.

"You were the one to hurt Touma-san's leg, weren't you?" I asked the pink haired man. We needed information. If our allies wouldn't give it to us, then I had to hope that our enemies would.

_Mister evil ninja, could I bother you for a monologue please?_

"Personally, I wanted to kill him," he smiled back at me. "Fura-chan here thought a gentle maiming was better. Looks like he didn't give this pathetic town any warning though. That's no fun."

A shiver ran down my spine, as the woman - Fura - rolled her eyes.

"They hired ninja," she said, as if that proved a point.

"Kids," the pink haired man retorted.

"All the better."

"Bah!"

"Stop fighting," the Big Man cut in suddenly, looking agitated. "Children from Konoha don't travel alone."

Sensei! He was talking about Sensei! But he'd taken Asuma out of town for the morning. What were the odds that they'd come back in time to save us?

I glanced at Shisui and made eye contact. His calm was as thin as mine was. I could see his fear bubbling just below the surface. Neither of us had a clue what the hell these ninja were talking about, and my thoughts weren't functioning well enough to question it.

One thing was certain - whatever bad blood we may have had towards each other just moments ago was moot for the time being. If we didn't fight together right now, we would die. Hell, we might end up dying anyways.

_Shisui is supposed to make it through this,_  I reminded myself.

That, however, didn't mean I would.

"Fine, let's get this over with," the pink-haired man said finally.

Killing intent suddenly leaked into the air. It came into my body through the air and through my skin. It was like breathing and suffocating at the same time. Terrible awful panic curled in my stomach, and I wanted to  _run._ More than anything I wanted to  _run_.

They told us about this in the Academy. They explained how enemies could fumigate you with their chakra to make you feel fear deeper than you'd ever imagined. To feel killing intent was to feel your insignificance, to understand completely that your enemy held your life in their hands.

_Fear was the death of the shinobi._ Those were Jin-sensei's words.

I bit down on the inside of my cheek until I tasted blood.

He wanted us to run, to give into his predatory persona and act like prey. Maybe it would've worked. Except the villagers were still around, scrambling backwards towards the town-center. Touma hadn't been able to move from the rock he'd sat down on for lunch.

_A shinobi of Konoha protects the weak._

I refused to be the ninja that ran. Not when there were innocent people around whose lives would be forfeit to my own cowardice. Glancing over at Shisui, he seemed to be reaching the same conclusion. We made fleeting eye-contact, and a silent resolution passed between us.

No matter what, we would not allow this jack-ass to intimidate us.

The pink haired man raised his sword and pointed it at the two of us. "My name is Suraisu. I want you to know the name of the man that's gonna kill you."

Then he moved.

My knuckles turned white, as I gripped my staff. He was fast. Faster than Shisui and faster than me. But Shisui had been able to block him when he'd come out of the woods earlier. Now wasn't so different. Suraisu went for the obvious attack, not bothering to be tricky because he assumed his speed would be enough for him.

Anticipating the obvious, I had my staff up in time to block the first slice of his katana towards my midsection. The force of his swing traveled down my arms, rocking my core, but I stood my ground. I wrenched my staff around, redirecting his momentum to the side, towards Shisui.

My teammate was already moving.

His eyes!

His eyes were spinning red and black. One curved tear-dropped tomoe was traveling around his pupil.

He stabbed forward with a kunai. Suraisu's outside foot went up. It caught Shisui's wrist and knocked his weapon away. I cracked the end of my staff around, aiming for his jaw.

He knocked it with his elbow and sliced with his katana.

There was no easy way to dodge that, so I did the only thing I could. I fell. Backwards. Into an unnatural backbend. The sharp blade missed me, but the rocky ground didn't exactly feel great when it invariably collided with my back.

Shisui continued to engage him, striking out with his free arm and grabbing the foot that Suraisu had kicked with. He jerked his leg forward. But Suraisu was graceful. When Shisui pulled him, he fell forwards into a lunge, and ducked underneath the incoming attack. Shisui strained to react as he saw Suraisu twisting to retaliate.

He wasn't fast enough.

A moment later Shisui was forced hard into the ground beside me.

"His taijutsu's better than ours," I breathed.

"Ninjutsu then," Shisui nodded, pulling some shuriken from his pocket. Then he vaulted backwards, putting space between him and our enemy.

I did the opposite.

Jumping up from the ground, I dove towards Suraisu before I could think better of it. This wasn't the sort of fight that I was prepared for. Beyond my bojutsu, I had next to nothing. The only ninjutsu I knew were things to assist with taijutsu, like the replacement and clone techniques. I hadn't trained for mid-range fighting yet.

I  _had_  to engage Suraisu here, in his face, at perfect range for his katana to impale me.

Shisui had the ranged techniques. He was the one who could beat Suraisu.

I would have to make due as his distraction.

"Kah!" I started shouting loudly as I cracked my staff right and left. I was going to be so obnoxious that Suraisu would have no choice but to focus on  _me_.

Blood trickled down my cheek, my arms, my stomach, as he landed thin slice after thin slice. None of my injuries were serious. Not yet at least. I was cutting my dodges close, taking many shallow hits because I was barely good enough to duck underneath the big ones.

Shisui provided as much back up as he could while doing some positioning behind me. Every time I thought I had made my last move, a blur of spinning steel would curve around my back, forcing Suraisu's sword to abort an attack in favor of a defensive stance.

I could see light glinting off the thin wires Shisui was laying with his shuriken, barely invisible to an ignorant eye.

Then, finally, "Jump!" Shisui's voice rang out.

I obeyed instantly, shooting upwards into the air before Suraisu could process. Shisui pulled, forcing the fresh wire trap to collapse inwards, tightening slip knots around Suraisu's ankles.

"Fire Style: Flaming Wire jutsu!" Shisui shouted as he ran through hand signs. My heart almost stopped in my chest as I watched the jutsu plume from his lips.

The wire ignited in one big violent rush. Hot air blew past me, as Suraisu basically exploded in a blast of flaming glory.

I blinked widely as I fell back beside Shisui, subconsciously putting some pressure on a bleeding cut on my bicep.

"Did we get him?" I asked in disbelief. The fire was thick and bright. My mind told me Suraisu was in there, but my eyes didn't see him.

"I think that's enough show and tell," a feminine voice drawled suddenly. It was coming from a little behind me.

Spinning around, I felt my heart drop into my stomach as I saw Fura standing on a pile of earthquake rubble. Suraisu was sitting on the ground beside her, looking surly but completely unharmed. She must've gotten him out somehow. The replacement jutsu maybe? Or was she just that fast?

"Not bad kids," Fura said, stepping forwards. "But it's my turn now."

She was closest to Shisui, so I wasn't terribly surprised when she made a bee-line straight for him. He was ready, his new Sharingan spinning. She threw a lazy right hook. He caught it easily. Too easliy.

Then I watched, petrified, as electricity crackled, and Shisui cried out. His arm  _spasmed._  Like something out of a horror movie. His body went down, hitting the ground hard.

His whimpers were loud and awful. They filled my ears, forcing all coherent thought away. My mind was completely paralyzed with stupid uncontrollable nothingness.


End file.
